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Habits: Vanilla or Not? - How to tell the difference? - [quote=DANDDMONTREAL]We went to Habits last night because multiple people have mentioned that it's a place that Utah lifestylers like to frequent. As we expected, it was generally difficult to tell the difference between lifestylers and vanillas (though we did recognize a few people from various events). We have no interest in offending a vanilla by making undesired advances. Nor are we looking to flip vanillas. That's just not our thing. We're really only interested in meeting stable couples that have experience in the lifestyle. So the obvious question is, what tricks do people have for differentiating lifestylers from vanillas at Habits?[/quote]
This has been asked here many times before... here's what it boiled down to:
1) You can't tell by looking.
2) If you really want to know, you'll have to ask them.
3) Despite the fact that maybe 5% to 10% of the people there are swingers on any given weekend, it's not a swinger club, so if you're trying to meet swingers, it's very inefficient.
Sorry.. wish there was a better answer.
YOLO Cruise April 26 2009 - swingers cruise - the way we look at it,,,,all these couples who "won" the cruise,,,,owes a round of drinks..!!!!! (wink)
single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - My experiance,I think it has to do more with that label that we as a married cpl put on single guys.... I think that (by my experiance) 75 to 80% of the single guys are pushy....
example: I blocked a single guy not too long ago because he was obnocxious on his e-mails... well he got my yahoo screenname from a group discussion post and IM'd me today.... now with a diferent approche.... he was so dumb as to tell me, "for some reason you have me blocked... I can't see your profile or your pics".... that was it... hello if you are blocked on the site that means I don't want to talk to you.... tahdah... blocked again on another site...
Some guys just don't get the hint and keep pushing, that is why WE don't care for single guys... our time is precious and to waist it on someone like that... no use...
Now, I know that for SOME (not all) it is a racial thing... for SOME it might be the reports of the CDC or just the screename like one of the cpls mentioned... I think everyone has their own reason as to why NOT wanting to play with single men.
To each their own but I think they should be more polite on letting the guy know why, unlike my self calling him a stupid fucker for trying again... That is just my humble opinion...lol
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - We are in our 20s, 25 and 29.
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - Shawn posted:
Didnt know if you attend a swingers party your free game for anyone. I wont attend another party with this group again. So , am I going over board with this or am I in the right?
You are not going overboard. Some people just don't have any manners, and need to be set straight, that they need to ask first, not touch first.
As much as I love men, it puts me off, when someone I don't know tries that kind of a move.
A true gentleman, swinger or not, should always ask first before touching!!!
Mrs Fun
Traveling - Finding other lifestyle couples while traveling - [quote=SNOEFUN]We are traveling to Atlanta for New Years and was hoping to find some lifestyle couples there[/quote]
Lots 'o swingers in Hotlanta. You could prolly find out if there are some local swingsites there and get like a trial membership announcing your travel plans in your profile header. Just a thought.
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - please add me.. Utahguy2
Definitions! - Just in case you never wanted to ask. - A very useful page (pages) of Definitions relating to The Lifestyle...in case you saw something float across the screen and were too embarrassed to ask.
http://www.hrcouples.com/terms_def.htm
http://thelibertinewife.com/blog/the-sex-and-swingers-glossary/
Here's a few pertinent terms...heheheh.
SOFT SWINGING (Soft Swap) -A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse.
FULL SWAP - A couple that enjoys sexual pleasure with others that includes anything up to and including intercourse.
Anyone have any other helpful definitions pages? I've got a couple more...I'll add them later.
-K_T
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - [quote=KISSES4U]soooo..
after reading your suggestions on creating a great profile..
good advise i might add..
I checked out your public pictures out of curiosity..
[b](2) Your PUBLIC photos NEED to show what you look like.[/b]
[em]Emo_64[/em] is that one of you? the monkey?
just wondering..
;)
lol
[/quote]
Yes.. I'm the monkey!
And good point!! I will get that fixed today/tomorrow! At one point we had a ton of pictures in our public profile, but I moved all but one into the private section one day (long story). I'll get one of me put back in there. =)
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