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What to wear to a swingers party??? - - my wife tries to find stuff that looks sexy and nice and is easy on and off or cofortable rolling around in, sexy shoes are always easy because you dont' need to stand much.
I wear usually a nice shirt and slacks.
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - We have played withcouples from the early 20's and up...we have never cared about age.. Its always been attitude and how long we get along ..you know personality etc. We have a big differance in age ourselves 15 years... just has never mattered...now if someone will hand me my cane..I'm off to have fun..
Lar
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - Here is a definition that I think is pretty good:
Swinging or partner swapping (sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle or simply the lifestyle) is a non-monogamous [1] behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship agree, as a couple, for both partners to engage in sexual activities with other people, sometimes referred to as recreational or social sex.[2] Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from a spontaneous sexual activity at an informal social gathering of friends to a swingers' club and can involve internet-based introduction services.
Polyamory - three (or more)-way RELATIONSHIPS - Hey Halfbaked,
We have been in a quad relationship for 2 1/2 years with another couple we met as Swingers. There have been ups and downs, but we are all happier than we have been in our whole lives and we are all closer and more in love with our spouses than ever before. I think it works so well because each marriage has been 20 years plus and the other wife and I(I'm the Mrs) are Bi and in love as well. I would just caution you when it comes to introducing your children into this type of blended family. We live within walking distance of our BF & GF, but have chosen not to disclose the full details of our "friendship" to our children(ages 8 & 15) because we feel that it is hard enough to grow up nowadays under the best of circumstances and other people can be cruel and judgmental. I would not want my child to suffer in any way because of my lifestyle choice. I am not against blending families, it is just not something we are willing to risk. My biggest piece of advice would be to listen to others' advice objectively, but only do what is right and best for YOU and YOUR loved ones because every relationship is different and different things work for different people. Just always be completely honest and open with one another and discuss everyone's feelings whether they are good or bad. Good luck to you guys! You may want to search on Meetup to see if there is a Poly group in your area.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - As I state plainly on my profile:
"I'm strictly hetero, but there is just ONE thing ... DVP. I have always wanted to try it, and I think the male to male contact required would be more than acceptable (on a ROI basis, LOL!)." (:-)
Friend collectors or swingers - - We have a handful of friends now. We keep them because we would like to meet them, but we haven't reached out to all of them yet. If we reach out and they don't respond we delete them.
Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Being that we are in the older bracket, I would say that yes age can be a factor. It depends on the individuals involved, but many times people put upper limits on play partners and anyone over that age is a null factor. There are several women on this site over the age of 50 who may make some couples rethink their age limit or make an exception for them. Weare very active in the club scene here in NC and people know us and age doesn't seem to be much of a factor. I don't think that staying in ones own age bracket is the thing so much as the perception that older people are over the hill both in looks and performance. Just remember if you get too old to cut the mustard, you're never too old to lick the jar it came in.
What is it to being a swinger couple - Is it always this way - From an outsider's perspective, this is one of the most obvious cons to me about being married swingers; you still have to deal w/ the annoyances of dating. Like Harry says in 'When Harry Met Sally', "I got married so I didn't have to date anymore!" You're happy to get laid, but it wasn't only about getting laid; it was about connecting to other people and for whatever reason they didn't want to maintain the connection. I think that's why there are so many small group outings posted about on here; those couples have found they're happiest when they develop a like-minded connection and hope sex will be another activity they partake w/ those to whom they're connected.
Of course, I could be totally wrong and there will be no shortage of married swingers who tell me so along in a few minutes.
The definition of cheating - - Interesting discussion. Certainly from a relationship standpoint the classic definition of cheating is being with someone other than your partner physically and/or emotionally. As swingers, however, we often hold ourselves above others and fall back on the lying and/or sneaking around aspect. Personally I feel that being dishonest with the person you hold most dear in this life to be the essence of cheating for me. When information is withheld you take away that person's prerogative to choose whether or not to stay in the relationship with you based on your actions outside of the relationship. There are a million ways people rationalize cheating. I find that a person's attitude towards cheating is a very good litmus test for the depth of their character. Now should we talk about cheating on a test or cheating other people out of their hard earned money? How about cheating on your taxes or at a poker game with friends? At what point DOES cheating become morally reprehensible or should it be "all's fair in love and war" and "every man (or woman) for himself"? Or as SIRNEWBY asserts, is self deception/lying/cheating really the only valid metric? Or did I misunderstand your point, SN? It would be interesting to get feedback from people (I'm sure there are plenty) who've been cheated on.
Clubs or hangouts - - [quote=StewzyR1]Saturday nights are best at scorez... there are a lot of couples that go there and Meet up....its not an organized event....but keep your eyes open.....theres a lot.;)[/quote]
So what are we keeping our eyes open for? Do people stamp their foreheads that say swingers on it? Is there a sign saying "swingers this way"? Do people shout every 30mins about the swinger blue light special like the supermarkets? I've been to scorezs many times and never seen obvious signs of swinger groups. I've seen groups that look like they might be swingers, but I'm not going to go up to a group and ask them if they are swingers and if I can join them...
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