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This lifestyle - What are we really? - Well I think that is crap. We are TRUE swingers by all means. We have sex with other partners. We do NOT make love to anyone else. We do NOT love anyone else but each other. However, we do have very good friends that we can hang out with and have a great time with, with or with out the sex taking place. So by your definition we would be Poly. But we do not love anyone but each other. We have swinger friends that we just hang out with and not have sex. We have B-B-Q's and let the kids play and then the next night we might all play. We exchange B-day gifts and all that jazz. We love them as friends but that is as far as it goes. In fact we have very few vanilla friends left because we get along with the lifestyle friends so much better. Please don't take that first sentence as rood, it's just that read your comment to agree with our outlook on the lifestyle but we define it differently.
Christain Swingers? - - We also have to agree what a great group who has responded to this post normally you talk religion or politics and the flames are so high you can't even see the trees its a pleasure to participate in this forum.
Help With Wife - Wife has fantasies but is super hesitant to experiment. - [quote=EVILDOERS]Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee. [em]Emo_79[/em] [/quote]
Damnit! Evildoers is right again!
Hosting a swingers Party - - Why not preceed the lifestyle party with a lingerie party or a toy party. Adam & Eve have an operation with local reps who go out and have house parties. Also several lingerie companies have similar set up where they come out with lingerie. Make sure the rep knows it's a lifestyle event and that if they are in the lifestyle they can bring their SO for after the presentation. Most people now accept parties in the neighborhood like Pampered Chef or Tupperware or lingerie parties...and if a close neighborhood friend finds out and wants to be included all you have to say is that it's a club thing and you are not the hostess... But a party like that is also an ice breaker.. have coffee and softdrinks some cake and or cookies and depending on the group hot wings(which could make for an interesting night....for some lucky souls..We try to keep alcohol to a bare min for several reasons.... People have to drive home... The presentation starts during the afternoon so the swinging starts early... Alcohol also dulls the sex drive... and alcohol can be a reason for the local constabulary to break into the event. If no alcohol is present and noone goes outside then there is very little that the law can do... A way to get a party started and a fun evening for all. make sure that condoms are available... Next time one of the other couples can hold the party.. One couple had a party like this in a 14' X 65 foot single wide with plenty of room for 8 couples... Notmal house should be absolutely great.
Ray
A NEW SITE TO SELL AND BUY SEXY STUFF - u may sell anything sexy there - A FEW OF YALL HAVE WRITTEN ME SAYING U ARE HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING ON THE SITE . THERE IS DIFFERENT PARTS TO THE SITE . THERE IS JUST A SWINGERS SITE TO JUST TALK AND MEET PEOPLE . AND THEN THERE IS THE AUCTION PART . WHERE U SELL AND BUY STUFF AT . U HAVE TO SIGN UP FOR BOTH PARTS . AND THEN CLICK ON WHERE U WANT TO GO ONCE U ARE ON THE MAIN PAGE . IF U HAVE ANY PROBLEMS PLEASE EMAIL ME AND ILL WALK U THROUGH IT . DONT FORGET ABOUT THE PIC CONTEST . IF U ARENT SHY THEN PLEASE ADD SOME NAUGHTY PICS TO THE CONTEST SO U CAN GET THE CHANCE TO WIN SOMETHING SEXY AND NAUGHTY .
AND TO THOSE THAT ARE WAITING FOR THE PANTIES TO COME IN THEY SHOULD BE HERE IN A FEW DAYS . AS SOON AS I GET THEM THEY WILL BE UP ON THE SITE . IF U KNOW A PARTY IS COMING UP LET ME KNOW THE THEME AND ILL TRY TO FIND SOME STUFF FOR YOU .I WAS ALSO THINKING ABOUT PUTTING A WANT AD FOR STUFF . SO U CAN WRITE FOR SOMETHING U ARE LOOKING FOR AND SEE IF ANYONE HAS IT THAT WOULD WANT TO SELL IT . WHAT DO YALL THINK ABOUT THAT .????????? I AM LOOKING FOR A SWING . BUT I DONT THINK ANYONE THAT HAS ONE WILL SELL IT ... HA HA HA
NAUGHTY DREAMS
FREAKY KITTY
Swingers clubs in Amsterdam - - We are looking more for some interaction with others SUENDAN, LOL. It's always an option to have a party for 2 however. May try suggestions from PANDJSWING. Thanks for responding.
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - If it was a "Get Gephardt" It would of been the full story vs 1 sided.
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - We salute and appreciate all the members of the military. We know that our very lives and our hard earned freedoms are a direct result of what thay sacrifice in order to keep us all safe. We have attached our Memorial Day Salute to all veterans..........
Swingers Vacation Spots - Help us - For us it would be simple anyplace out of colorado that has swingers parties and a good babysitter for the kids cause we wouldnt want to come home soon guess that what living in a small town and no car does to you. lol
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