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Friendship vs. spontaneity? - Are you here to make friends or just to fuck? - The perception of this lifestyle is that there is a whole lot of sex going on between everyone. Maybe if you are young slim and trim and willing to go to bed with everyone at the drop of a hat that is true. But that pretty much describes the young anyway. If that is your perception of all swingers, and you are here in Utah, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I think that this question comes up a lot because it is not a simple question for many of us and it seems to be posted by those seeking friends first. The end goal may be sex. But if that is your only goal then why do you say you are seeking friends. Friendships are not made in 30 seconds or a drink over at the pub. If that is what makes friendships in your mind then you are really just here for sex.
For us it is finding friends. Some folks that we meet we will play with and some we will be just friends with. It really boils down to a 4 way vote when it comes to the bedroom and maybe even being friends in the first place. And that is what makes finding friends and bedroom partners difficult. There is always the added fear of rejection that gets in the way when you want to anything anyone.
I look at all the complaints of one-nighters and couples that never speak again after sex. I can only surmise that for those folks sex is the only yard stick of friendship. You do not have to be sexually compatible to be friends.
We have found that if what you are looking for is friends, then it is easy to be part of the lifestyle. If what you are looking for is based on having sex then it is easy to be disappointed and difficult to be part of the lifestyle.
Furthermore we look at those that just want to screw and think how lonely their existence must be.
A Huge Thank You! - Nightshade Grand Opening - [quote=EVILDOERS]We had an AMAZING, sexy time masturbating furiously and talking about what it might have been like if we'd been there. Next time you have a party we might even drive over and sit in the parking lot and do the same thing because we're total badass swingers like that! [em]Emo_84[/em]
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AHAHAH I love this!!! You guys are always a hoot
Are you a Swinger or Liver? - - Would "Ethical Non Monogamy" sound better to you. What we are talking about here is leaving the external societal rules behind and doing what we feel good with, sometimes that means we set our own rules. I'm sure that you have your own rules too, of one sort or anther. The Reason we Swingers have rules is that we enter this lifestyle with our own needs and wants and the needs and wants of our mates. We need to balance both while rejecting the conventional norm. Our sex life is like something out of an erotic novel that most people can't imagine is real, but we love it, rules and all.
May 2014 Swinger's Cruise out of Los Angeles - Mexican Riviera Cruise for Swingers. - Looking for any Swingular members who are going to be on the cruise. It would be nice to know some couples prior to going.
Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - These are the only black rings that we're aware of that give you slightly more than a 50% probability of identifying a swinger.
[img]https://www.extremerestraints.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/640x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/p/sp130-new2.jpg[/img]
seniors - why is it so difficult to find senior swingers or single ladies? - CLASSY,
I would hope that it is not sour. I am only trying to prevent disinformation. It is unfair to pigeon hole people based on locale. I think a lot of the issues here stem from differences in culture. Most apply their own upbringing as the standard for which is considered appropriate. If we are more open-minded about others view, we will often find the intent is good. I, like many, am guilty of letting my own perspective cloud my judgment. We are all guilty of it to some degree. It is the very reason wars are started. Human nature is plagued by this unfortunate trait. Anyway, my intent here is not to cause mayhem, only to express my opinion and promote tolerance.
-Don-
A letter to Single Men looking to meet a willing Single Woman - - [quote=STANSBURYCPL]OK single peoples I could use some advise. My ex and I divorced 3 months ago. We were active swingers and that did not have anything to do with the divorce. We are still best friends and hang out all the time just live separate places and are following our different paths in life which was one of the things that led us to our divorce. Now upon divorce we talked about our Swingular profile and swinging in general. We love it and want to continue to attend parties together and be each others "wingman" per say. I have clearly outlined this on our profile in our description. Now to where I need advise. Now as a single man I would like to also find a single lady to have some fun with as well. I messaged and emailed and well to say the least the majority think I'm lying and trying to cheat, or wont talk with me because I do not have a profile picture. I explain that I cant post a public picture as it could cost me my job if the wrong person were to see it, but I'm happy to email one if requested.
Now several months later I have not received one invite, one friend request, its radio silence. I would like to change this but I don't know how. Its led me to feelings of maybe I'm just not attractive enough sob story sob story bla no one wants to hear that crap, but I'm super frustrated.
Any advise would be welcome.
Thanks in advance.
Aaron [/quote]
This might sound simplistic, but I have been approached by government agents, school principals, Fortune 500 CEO's and CFO's that are unable to provide a face picture but will email one as you mentioned. Why can't you put your face picture in your private pictures. The only people that would see it is the ones you granted access to? I am given some reasons for this from them, but most stem because of government conspiracy theories. Hoping that is not you. If you can be fooled granting access you can also be fooled sending your picture by email. I don't want to give out my email to single men or newly single men with or with out a wing woman. Assuming you are verified and I haven't checked that, but this would also insure the person you are communicating with that the picture is indeed you.
Just a thought.
I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - [quote=PAIRPLAYERS][quote=EVILDOERS]Thanks for the responses so far. I thought of a couple of additional questions. Are you seeking, finding and connecting with other open/poly people here on Swingular or are you finding people thru other means? Also, do you find that most of the people you connect with are single or are they in their own primary relationships? Does it matter much to you if they are single or coupled?[/quote]
Great question. Almost exclusively non swinger community singles surprisingly. Have tried amongst the swingers but they seem to have a very quid pro quo mentality. [/quote]
Yes, they do! We noticed that dynamic almost immediately when we first entered the lifestyle and were actually talking about it just today in the context of no quid pro quo being a distinct positive in the column of open or poly lifestyles vs. swinging. SO many times when I was even just TALKING to a woman her partner or husband would basically go grab Ms. Evil, no matter what she was doing or who she was talking to, and assume it was perfectly okay to just do more or less whatever he wanted. After all, I was doing something/anything with HIS partner!
Wow! Great responses everyone. SO informative! Thank-you.
What were you for Halloween? - - Halloween seems to be high holy days for swingers at least around here. Did you dress up and go to a lifestyle party? We didn't know if we would for sure be in town so we had to come up with some quick last minute costumes. Ms. Evil was Ines Sainz...super tight, lowcut top, tight jeans, overstuffed bra, ubiquitous sunglasses on top of her head, press credentials and her microphone complete with TV Azteca logo. I was a NY Jets player, Jets jersey, eye black, towel wrapped around my waist with one of Ms. Evil's strap-ons poking out under the towel. The only Jets jersey I could find was Mark Sanchez so after more than a few drinks when clueless people kept asking who/what I was supposed to be I smeared some chocolate on my upper lip and told them I was a "dirty Sanchez". ;-)
Evil
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - You feel such a compulsion to return to the forum and bathe in hypocrisy, why?
You wrote:
"Why must you constantly mock people?"
Just the assholes.
-D-
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