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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
what the f#%@ was he thinking? - swingers still deserve respect - Seems that some guys mistake swinging sites like this for porn sites. Too many stag movies and not enough time in social situations with others to develop any manners. It really is in poor taste but on the other hand the poor taste is to be expected from time to time and isn't worth traveling to beat on someone...
Long term girlfriend - New to all this and curious - Yeah is called being a poly couple.
We are currently on a long term relationship with a girl but she is not close to us atm (She's in Spain). We will reunite with her permanently next year.
We had 2 other relationships with 2 girls in 2000 and 2009.
The best thing we can tell you is to talk to girls anywhere you can find them, keep in mind that this site is the least likely to produce any results. Be honest with the ladies but don't press the poly agenda too hard nor too soon otherwise she may get scared. Most girls who get into relationships with couples start by just hooking up in a swingers setting. So start easy. Let love flourish naturally between you 3. Just give the girl a chance to get to know you both, see how cool and how chill you guys are, share a great deal of sexy, fun and beautiful times together and show her that love between you 3 is possible and can be beautiful and uncomplicated. DM for further info. Dan, Susana and Mayra.
Whats your favorite drug during sex? - - Wow. Apparently I stirred up a shit storm. I DO REALLY enjoy all the harsh judgement comments coming from a swingers site... I find it quite FUN.
Well not really having any experience with anything else...lets just say 5 hours and a couple dozen orgasms later... having tried some really good E during sex was quite the experience... kind of like how others on this site might say doing DP with another couple is different and fun... not something you do all the time or as something to replace regular sex.
Too Young? - Are we just too young... - I would love to swing with an older couple or younger couple. There are just a lack of swingers in my immediate area.
really appreciate the "lifestyle" - wanted to reflect - i wanted to repost pretty much a reply i wrote in another forum...
it started out about our thoughts on the first time with someone new...
was trying to convey our feelings that getting to know people over time made the exp better...
and well it seems like more than that in re-reading it... or it could be the painkillers... so if the typing is bad thats why... thxs please enjoy...
"1st time is never the best, that is why we like 2nd, 3rd, 4th and so times, making friends,(does not have to be buddys, or move in with you) people you can talk to more than about sex... is what really makes the life great...
our continuing story....
rich has a severly broken leg right now... the people that are making life work for us for the most part are swing friends, some are on the site...
we had just contracted on a house befor rich's leg, closed from the hospital, a couple we have known for a while got a truck and moved us in our new home... the wife of a couple (on this site) has been taking rich to his appointents, which until recently were every day, her husband fix and painted one of the rooms in the new place just befor the move in... rich's best friend, a single male (on this site)has been there, and a single female friend has been too... many other couples have come by and done a little even if it was a ride to get lunch or dinner... and rich really appreciates the sympathy blow jobs...
not everyone you play with will make a connection, but trying for that connection is the best part... and for us, right now, if not for the swingers in our lives, we would be lost in trying to works things out. "
Two For Two Does Not Add Up To Three - Sorry got out of bed on wrong side - [quote=007HOTTIE]Can I just add to this. I am so sick of all these people that say they are swingers and have "just want to have fun" on their profile and then you get to know them and they tell you "Well, the female half doesn't like to play with other males until she gets to know them". Well, I got so sick of all the mfemale halves of the couple that we were supposed to text and get to know like 2000 times before there was a chance in hell we could all play together........... If ever? This site is "SWINGular"! For swingers! Not couples looking for another woman to add to the mix!!!
I mean, I am all for getting to know ppl, but seriously! I am on here for sex!!! Not lifelong friends![/quote]
we're up for that!
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]
A lot of people secretly wish they could self liberate sexually and socially enough to do some of the things "swingers" do. If they know enough about the Utah swing scene to know why we are wearing a black ring on our right hands then there is a pretty good chance they envy our liberation maybe just a little.
[/quote]
I would not be surprised! :)
[quote=DELICIOUSLYWET]
I recently had a very LDS middle aged friend who knows we swing tell me when he grows up he wants to be me. We don't flaunt it before our vanilla friends and we are not trying to be spokes persons for swinging but we are really not ashamed of it.
[/quote]
Out of curiosity, do you consider wearing black rings all the time flaunting it?
Swingers gone bad?? - - Damn why didn't stuff like that ever happen to me when I was a teenager?:*
Know any Mormon swingers in SoCal? - Single girl in SoCal wants to know! - I will DRIVE down there and fuck the TESTIMONY out of her. Just sayin'...[em]Emo_62[/em]
Ok, maybe I'll fly. Too hot to drive.
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