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Children - - am a momma bear when it comes to my kids. They know am a nudist but they DO NOT know my lifestyle. The reason why they don't know about it is because I think in their teen age years they have a lot to worry about and also they are discovering the world outside the home. I give them a lot of advise and talk a lot to them to the point that they know what is swinging but again they do not know that we are swingers. My 14yr old daughter knows that am bi because a lot of her friends are bi and she was very confused as to the whole thing.
Not even our closes swing friends know my kids. We each talk about our kids and brag about them. I have met theirs and this summer we are planning to have the families join but this is ONLY because we have been friends for a while and we talk and know a lot about each other even private problems that only the closes family members would know. I know how they are with their kids and they know about how we are with ours, so I am comfortable with them meeting them.
I chatted with a cpl for a long time and we even played a few times. We got comfortable with each other and in one conversation the topic about the kids came up... We talked and bragged about the kids. After a few weeks I was asked if I wanted to see their kids on cam. I said ok just because we had played and talked a lot. I saw their kids and everything seemed normal. It turned out after a while the mother told me her daughter was bi and she loves to watch her daughter have "fun" with her friends. She sits back, plays with herself and tells her daughter what to do, another thing that was disturbing to me is that this person is a high school math teacher.
MY KIDS ARE OFF LIMITS... even when am chatting, emailling or just checking the site my laptop is posittioned in a way that no one can see the screen except who ever is in front of it. I also know that newborns till about 4 or 5 depending on the child development is ok to do as you please, but I remember things when I was 5 years old, things that my mom says but you where so small. To my opinion anything older than that should not be exposed to anything.
There are so many sick minds out there. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY ARE THINKING.
At what point do you out yourselves to family and friends?? - - I completely agree with you on the fact about "IF" our son became a swinger oneday. We wouldn't care either way as long like you said he was making a responsible decision and not just going along with someone because he thought it sounded fun or he though hell mom and dad did it I can too. However I must say there are alot of ppl we know personally that would die if their children found out or indeed became swingers themselves,I am of the mind set ppll who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. But of course thats just our .02 and our son does know about our lifestyle and my bisexuality.
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - Nice pictures I wonder why so many people hide their faces
A Place In The Lifestyle - - Well, It sounds more like a Utah club. We do not have swinger clubs here. Unless the club wishes to work at keeping people that are not in the lifestyle out, you may have to find another way to determine the swinging couples. Maybe the swinger wrist bands are a good idea at that club to identify others in the lifestyle. It would take some work on your part talking with those you may already know are in the lifestyle. You may not wish to wear them other places but it would solve a lot of problems for you in the club.
Now the other question of who belongs is very difficult to answer. A lot of swingers do not swing very often or with very many others. So I see little difference between meeting one lifestyle or the other. As long as you are comfortable with your lifestyle, and asking another person if they are in the lifestyle, I do not see how you can lose. In Utah the chances are always slim that anyone will say yes straight away if they do not already know you. I would say that since it is a swinger club you have a greater chance than we do here at finding people in the lifestyle and you might even find some converts.
Why do they run? - Why do most couples run when you suggest a real full swap? - I am certain that insecurity has no bearing on the decisions that we make in regard to the lifestyle. What you are suggesting simply isnt for us. We take so much from being in close proximity to each other during our encounters that it would render the experience...perhaps ackward or fruitless, for lack of a better term.
There is a reason that so many couples run from the possibility of what you call \"full swap\". Many years ago when we were first introduced to the lifestyle, \"full swap\" entailed having sexual intercourse with another couple. \"Soft swap\" meant oral play or touching only, no intercourse. Perhaps the deffinition has changed over the years...
I am certain that what you are describing is closer to what traditional polyamory is all about. In fact, there is a reason why the couples that you approach about this subject \"run like the wind\" as you call it. More times than not, it has proven to be destructive to the relationships in question. Best intentions or not, we are all human. Shit happens. Most seasoned swingers know this, and avoid this situation at all costs.
Most of the relationships that we have seen over the years that were as you describe ended in ruin. Most of the people that we have known to consider this method were (coincidentally) new swingers, who had not yet developed a sense of direction or an identity in the lifestyle. There are some mistakes that you can make in the lifestlye without jeopadizing your standing with your mate. There are some that you simply can not. What you are suggesting to other couples, while it may seem like something that would be fun and cool, has proven to be atleast problematic to many other people.
Just our .02 cents.
Best of luck to you both.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
:D
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=HT51210]We had a hard time buying tickets when the event first posted (and do meet the age requirement). Got some weird error and sent BMSHELL a screenshot to see if they'd seen it before. Not sure what was going on with it. We gave up on it after a while. Oh well, maybe next time .... :)[/quote]message them and get on the list I'm sure someone will dropout!!!!
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - We have been in the lifestyle for a few years and have had the pleasure to play with single men alone and in party situations. Occasionally there is a man who turns things into a "sausage fest". Meaning; we have seen married men pushed from the fray by single men, and the women being overwhelmed by uneven numbers. We have also had the pleasure (and I mean that literally) of playing with very respectful single men. I hate the fact that for some one bad apple... unfortunately that is kinda how it is among human beings. Sadly the majority of our experiances have not been really positive. There is the risk of attachment (been there, not good) We like the even numbers, in a house party situation but if what we are looking for is a threesome... Bring it on! By the way The name has nothing to do with it for us, I mean we are dodge! lol
What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I thought it might be interesting to see what preconceived ideas people had about swinging that were completely different than what they actually found in the lifestyle. As an example, this isn't one of OUR preconceptions but we've run into SO many people (yes, usually guys...single AND coupled) who have the idea that basically anyone will fuck anyone in the lifestyle. We've encountered a large number of swingers over the years who seem to believe that the ONLY commonalities necessary for a swinging connection is the simple fact that we're all swingers. Any other factors are, apparently, moot.
What things did YOU find in the lifestyle that didn't mesh with what you thought the lifestyle was all about? Did you think it would all be one big wild orgy? Or did you imagine that there were myriad unicorns ready, willing, and able to fuck you at the drop of a hat? [em]Emo_49[/em]
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - Tungsten makes some quality rings for the lifestyle.
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What to wear to a swingers party??? - - my wife tries to find stuff that looks sexy and nice and is easy on and off or cofortable rolling around in, sexy shoes are always easy because you dont' need to stand much.
I wear usually a nice shirt and slacks.
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