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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - From certain perspectives yes that's what I'm saying. Religion twists things but from the view of an Islamic extremest what those terrorists did on that plane was the pinnacle of a moral example. From our point of view it was horrid and sick. We are in the out group to these terrorists and religion has warped their view so that they think they need to defend the ideals of their in group. Understanding that they believe they are doing good things doesn't excuse them from the bad things they do. Like how the Pope isn't innocent for using his influence to stop people from using condoms in countries riddled with AIDS and parent less children. He believes he is doing right but is inexcusable.
How did you get started? - -
Scott was familiar with the subject of swinging though not experienced, I had never heard of it. One day he started asking questions about my fantasies. Over the next several weeks we really had honest conversations about what we fantasized about and what turned us on. After that Scott found a local swingers club so we went to their social dance. It was not until then that I realized there were a lot of people (most, very normal) that also had similar interest in exploring their fantasies.
I would love to hear how others got started. Who brought it up? Did they bring it up because they had prior experience? How did you react?
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=XTRAINERBLK]DP & Airtight...yes. DVP..hell no. Just dont want to touch another guy's dick.[/quote]
I'm 100% straight but....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - tell us more about Kik and how it operates and how to join
Swinger Hangout - Clubs - My girlfriend is curious about the lifestyle and I would like to take her to a bar or club where swingers hangout so she can meet some. Now that Habits and Moose are closed, I don't know where to go. Does anyone know the current hangout?
Swingers Kickball Society - - My wife and I are interested
Messages - why don't people want to message back - [quote=Sm435]
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better.
Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead.
Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.[/quote]
Well said. We just quoted the parts we completely agree with. You should remember that once you find a good group of FWB - you are less inclined to follow up on every offer. This is more a time management issue than a rejection. Hopefully people will still be responsive.
The only emails we don’t respond to are blind friend requests .... especially from people with no profile pics. Sorry - we won’t respond to blind requests. If you are interested - send a thoughtful message - if you are not, simply say so. We think that is good form.
Good luck - it’s wonderful when it works. We have been extremely lucky in finding some lifetime great friends. We’ve only had one couple we played with who ghosted us - we’ll never understand that - but it happens. That’s on them, not us. We feel like what comes around goes around. Wouldn’t change anything about our LS experience though - we feel blessed to have expanded our circle of friends to FWB. Lucky, lucky, lucky us!! May you all have similar luck!
where are the real people who want to swing - run into to many phonies - where the hell are all the real swingers at out there and how come it is so hard to find them
and where are the real down to earth ones who are not ken and barbie and looking for real people at.
Being Stood Up - Sucks to be stood up - [quote=UTAH-CPLE-2006]carrier, now thats just funny. that said, swingers are as a rule flakes its gonna happen so we recomend just meeting someplace you would go anyway that way when people flake off you can just enjoy your evening without them.[/quote]
great advice
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