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Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=zugzug]We've been at the LS nearly our entire 15 year marriage.. and we've always done things as a couple. Even way back when we were newly hatched swingers, we've always done it as a couple, and we've used our real names from the beginning, mostly because we're not creative enough to come up with fake names. Neither of us would make good actors, because we'd never respond to anything but our real names either 🤣
We started this together with equal gusto with the idea of having fun together while having sex with other people at the same time, and with people we want to be friends with, and not exclusively in the bedroom either.
Has it always worked out that way? No but that's okay. We've always still managed to have fun. Anything that we can experience with each other and share together has made it 100% worthwhile. The day we can't have fun doing this together is the day we go back to being sexually monogamous. Simple as that.
But the REAL secret to why we're still happily married is that there is one thing we do separately, which may be problematic for some.
It's scary sharing this, but here goes....
We don't share blankets. We can't do it. We've tried, and it doesn't work for us. We're both very needy in regards to tossing and turning and being wrapped in our own blankets. Plus, we've got our individual blanket needs that can't be met with exclusively with the same one.[/quote]
We also draw the line at blankets because we saw how well that worked out for so many Native Americans back in the day. :-( But we do share other stuff because, well...sharing is caring.
[img]https://i.imgflip.com/41icsj.jpg[/img]
Hollywood Swingers? - - Are you kidding? Most of the people on this site haven't confessed, and we don't have the media breathing down our necks and digging through our trash!!
Can you imagine, put me on the list that get to swing with Brad and Angelina!!!Whoop Whoop!!
this web site - no interest - First off your attitude would certainly deter us from wanting to meet you. As addressed in another post, a lot of people told you to post pictures and to get validated, it appears you have not done either, which is probably why you have not had any luck meeting anyone. Another thing to consider is that no swingers website guarantees you to hook up if you join, they give you the tools to meet others but in the end it is up to you. So before you place blame on swingular for your problem, you should take a look in the mirror first.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - Well said Mr. X
-D-
Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - I caught the second half of this show while staying in a hotel a few nights ago. It seemed like kind of a hatchet job on people who enjoy the lifestyle. There was a lot of negative social representation. It was not what I was hoping for.
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - I would have to agree with TR, you arent poking your nose into their private life and they need to stay out of yours. Then again we havent been busted.
mtman
Christain Swingers? - - We are both born again and read our bibles Regularly nad believe the marriage bed is sacred and what we do with it is our bussiness as long as we follow the guidlines. No animals, children, or relatives.
Juat wanted to add my 2 since worth
Fly-fishing Swingers - New Swingular Group - We booked our flats charter for Tampa Bay over Thanksgiving last night. Woo-hoo!
Combining Lifestyle & Non-Lifestyle Friends - - [quote=SLCJEEPER]Ah, good topic AC! We're happy to have met many people here that we now consider good close friends that we don't have to hide from when we see them at the mall while we're out with our kids. LoL! It's nice to find those who can be vanilla because our whole life isn't about swinging. So, yes, we have had success in blending swingers into our vanilla lifestyle and we hope to find more:)
Joe & Debbi
[/quote]guess we've been lucky too! We've found a number of friends who we are able to see in a "vanilla" setting, as well....and never had to worry about any "beans" gettin' spilled...
As every profile says..."discreation is a must........"
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