Thayer Swingers in Kansas

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Identifying Swingers! - Lots of talk and now some action! :) - we like the idea as well however, he does not like to wear a necklace.....maybe some kind of pin?

See life issues please help - Wife needs help understansing - I wanted to comment on a specific thing the OP said; many swingers are not swingers because they were "bored". Imagine a couple that vacations every year to the south of France and have a wonderful time, but one year decide to try Puerto Rico. Did they do something new because they were bored with their usual spot? No, they were looking for an adventure, to meet new people, to experience something different. Most swingers, the ones that are in a good place, are happy in their lives and also want to explore and expand their horizons. If you are afraid your spouse is "bored" with you then everything in the swinger lifestyle is going to appear more exciting and this is a recipe for jealousy and resentment. Remember that NRE is electrifying and exciting but ORE is just as valuable, if not more; it gives us real joy and comfort and that is sexy too.

Why swingers are happier. - - We would definitely have to agree! Because of swinging and everything it involves and requires of a couple we enjoy an entirely different level of relationship than ever before. Its brought us closer, trust deeper, communicate better and enjoy things that most non swingers can only dream about.

Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - This sounds like a fantastic concept. We have had some groups over the years that have been a great time. Unfortunately people move or leave the lifestyle so it never lasts forever. We are interested though

Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on: Nov 10, 2007 - 12:11 pm Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly. So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I would say that swinging (full swap, soft swap) IS recreational sex. It ISN'T about falling in love with someone. That poly people would think swinging is bad because it is diametrically opposed to poly doesn't surprise me one bit. Kinda like me being a Grand Dragon of the KKK thinking that people who even can think of having a relationship with a black person are sick in the head. To a poly person, the only difference between them and a "normal" person is that they have more than one person with whom they have love in the relationship. "Normal" people also think spouse swapping is a bad idea too. Again, no surprise. I would say that swinging and poly have only one similarity and that is that they are having sex with somebody that they are not legally married to and the spouse is fine with it. Beyond that, I don't see the similarities.

Dungeons & Dragons Online Game - anyone else or just us? - anyone else play DDO? plays like WOW or everquest but free mostly and alot funner alot more of a challenge We play now and again and wonder about other swingers that may play online games maybe group up and talk on there as we play? talk about multi tasking killin monsters and setting up dates lol/// http://my.ddo.com/referral/pepsi_phreak_79 if your lookin to try it out otherwise we are on the sarlona server My cleric is necrophiliak she has a rogue named valitia

How did you get started? - - one eveing about eight years ago we were talking to a couple of friends and they wee talking about this club where they liked to go where the people were open and friendly and liked to have fun with clothes on or off. We have always been adventurous, and staunch nudist. Well as you figure one thing lead to another and we went there one night in southern CA and we had a blast. At first it was a place where Sheila could get some female attention that made her smile bet as time went on we actually both selected nights that we were going to do different things. SHeila is a well designed woman and on night had every woman in the place suck my cock before we went home and OH MY GOD what a night. So for her birthday she had what she wanted. Three women and one guys and everyone was well satisfied and sheila slept on the way home. Another grand night. The friends that we started with soon grew tired because they wanted to fuck and nothing more while the true swingers found friend and made life long relationships. We are better people because of our lifestyle.

We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - UTBIPLAYMATE, See how you guys are? If you would have been around none of this would have happened. LOL LOL :p Thanks you two! You are also a great couple without drama and only fun times.

Why we ORGY - Why we ORGY - [size=100]And now, a word from a noob... My wife and I have only been in the LS a few months, but I feel we have experienced quite a variety of experiences in that time, including house parties, LS clubs and basically an orgy party. We felt comfortable at all of them, but certainly the most pressure we have experienced came from the orgy-type party. It has been the only time when random men thought they could basically touch my wife, lift her skirt and ask to fuck her repeatedly, all without an invitation. We are pretty mellow and level-headed, so I think I did a pretty good job of turning them away without causing a scene, but had we been a little more sensitive I think it may have been a huge turnoff. So when I hear the word orgy, I think of a large party where basically everyone is there to just fuck, not socialize, and nobody really cares about who their dick is in or whose dick is in them. That is probably great for a lot of people, and I don't want this to sound flippant or elitist, but us as a couple we seem to have a higher standard than many swingers out there. In our short time we have already encountered non-clean people, irreverent people, very uneducated people, super creepy people and huge drama people. So to just show up at a party and hope that the plethora of couples we are playing with are clean, non-crazy and haven't been fucking everything from here to Texas, well... I just don't assume that to be true. Notice I didn't say much about looks. Yes, looks are important, but to us, we are looking for more just a hole and a pole. My point is, looks are secondary to many other things. And the only way to establish those "other" things, is to get to know the couple a little. Granted, we are super new to this and are moving slowly into the LS and we don't have that "notch on the belt" mentality yet, but so far, some of our best times have been getting to know the people, connecting, feeling that sexual energy between everyone, and then moving into the play room. We don't expect a couple to provide us any missing emotional support we are lacking in our marriage, as we have a great marriage. We also have a great sex life and this is just an adventure we are taking as a couple. It seems to me the orgy scene is more for people with open marriages, full swap different rooms, or people who otherwise don't care who their spouse if fucking. I trust my wife completely, but I don't trust others, and my need to protect her seems natural enough. Oh,maybe in a huge orgy you can both experience things together, but it does seem like you just jump in a pile and fuck whoever is in front of you. If not, then it is more a social, where you all talk first, enjoy each other's company, tell some jokes and get know the couple, then, if interested, you can all go fuck. So to me, that scenario is a social, not an orgy, which is the topic at hand. An orgy is more of a situation where you show up, who cares if you talk, drop your pants and start fucking. It seems more dangerous to me on an STD level as I don't imagine if you fuck 10 girls in a night you are changing condoms every time, or even wearing one, though I realize my assumption may be completely off, just giving you my opinion here as to why I wouldn't be AS interested in an orgy (it still would be fun to watch). Also, questions like "how many people have you fucked this week" and "do you wear protection" are much easier over a glass of bourbon than while sucking on a cock or pussy. Probably a little awkward. So... to finalize this huge monstrosity, different strokes for different folks. We like meeting new couples, we like to make new friends and we feel there is a greater reward with friends with benefits. Just as in our marriage where our sex is great because we know the other person so well, so we think playing with others may be enhanced by our understanding of the other couples needs and desires. Do we ever think it is fun just to meet somebody and play immediately? Probably. But do we think that our long term goals, our health and our mutual respect for each other is better served by meeting a couple, having the time to discuss how we feel about the couple in the privacy of our marriage and then moving forward as we both agree upon is the best way for us? Most definitely. And the small amount of wasted time we may experience trying to arrange meetings is a small price to pay for that piece of mind. We have made great friends, that if we never played with again, would still be our friends, so that is just icing on the cake. And maybe we have been lucky but we haven't experienced a lot of flakes, just a lot of busy, cool people with jobs and families, just like ourselves. So say we all!![/size]

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - K_T, you know that we'll play with you and toys any time ;)