Kensington Swingers in Kansas

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Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Meeting new swingers? - Where to meet them? - I just have to say that this is the third chance I am giving to the internet, everytime I have tried one of these websites I have left disapointed. I have found more real people at the local clubs then online. maybe I am just jaded from being stood up a few times, but I just feel I would rather get to know another couple in person,after several no shows I just don\'t belive in the internet.

RECOGNIZING OTHER SWINGERS - Outside of clubs & parties. - I think one of the characters in Madagascar had an upside pineapple.

Identifying Swingers! - Lots of talk and now some action! :) - I'd wear it. -D-

Only 12 couples within 100 miles on our search - Just using the search criterion of :non smoking, slim or athletic, 35-55, couples, soft swap yes, st - Well it is nice to get some intelligent on topic responses. Yes my original intent was unclear. I wanted to ask about the search function as so many times it seemed like I must be doing something wrong. I was frustrated at how you have to reenter all the parameters each time. And some of the parameters are different in search compared to what you can select in the profiles??? For instance in Soft swap in the profile you can respond with a yes, no, or maybe. Also how do you sort by excluding a yes in some parameter.? After playing with this feature I also noticed that some searches would get 2 pages of results and then I would go back and think I only changed one thing and get 20++ pages. The fact that I could NOT save the searches and be sure I just changed one parameter even though I thought I did was a pain as well. In all this I started to see some interesting trends that I was going to report on but by that time the thread had been hijacked. Originally I reported my search results for this specific search and the criterion I used solely for help in this matter and being so stupid not to realize that I offended Smokers, bi guys, and folks not average or less. Oh and I forgot folks under 35. I am surprised not all the folks who have been members over 365 days didn't throw stones too. I wont be starting another thread ever is the overall result of this. Whatever my intent was is not important now. I just want to say that we usually search and have met some folks outside of those original parameters and yes personality and many other factors can make the overall experience great. We don't have to call ourselves swingers and so many of you have made it clear in another caustic post like this that we do not qualify as swingers yet and shouldn't even be on this site. I agree. Have a good Life!

ogden meet and great - - Yes club wet. I wasn't going to say swingers convention or put up a sign just a get together.

Help us out.. Take this Survey - For Utah Swingers - Completed.

Being Stood Up - Sucks to be stood up - If our grandparents were swingers they would keep their word. It is too bad we are not in the WWII generation when people kept their word and you could make a deal on a handshake.

Somebody already said this - Need to know where to go since Habits closed - [quote=HFUN]hey club 90 has had its share of swinger partys and no one knew it was a swinger party except the swingers who were meeting and its just a block away from sandy station..so..[/quote] Yep! We go to Club 90 a lot and have enjoyed our time there. Have been to plenty of meet and greets. Been going there for 10 years.:)

Search abilities for international swingers. - Just a suggestion. - We will be adding capabilities to search by country soon.