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Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - IYAAYAS!!!!
Single Males - Question - Lifetime Member
Location: WICHITA, KS
Join Date: May 12, 2002
Posted By: CASIOOO72 Reply posted on:
Jan 9, 2004 - 12:56 am
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"Trashing the single male again, Have you clps looked at yourselves? You are lucky to get a single male to play with your old lady. You might have to tie a bone around here neck. Give me a break most of you cry babys got married in the first place becouse your partner is the only one that would give you any. Single males power too you."
This is the kind of reply and attitude that is the reason why single males get such a bad rap. In response to you thinking that the only reason we our with our wifes is because she is the only one who would give us any is ridiculous especially coming from someone who is single and needs to troll a swingers site to get laid. So until you can go find someone of your own, you should keep your comments to yourself.
Christain Swingers? - - If your interpretation of the scriptures is very literal, then the answer is of course that swinging and christianity can not co exsist.
I am not a believer in the INSTITUTION of Christianity as a whole, I do not beleive that ANYBODY who has taken the time to educate themselves about the origins of Christianity (particularly the Roman Catholic Church) and organized religeon (sp?) could be a true believer, however that in no way means that I do not believe in GOD.
In both of our opinions, swinging is morally fine as long as both partners agree on the context, the rules, and always respect one another. If you do not keep these very sacred simple truths in any relationship, let alone a swinging relationship, it is doomed to fail.
Thats our .02 cents.
Luvbugs! (mR.)
;)
IF you are into Raves/Molly/E - You know - [quote=ILLUSTRATOR]What? Seems like a liability to Swingular to have that on here. I've known businesses to get shut down because an employee sold drugs at work. You would think a website like this is the same. And that LEOs might be watching who goes to these parties. [/quote]
First of all, I think it's very presumptuous of you to assume the astrological sign of any cops on Swingular. Secondly, I doubt any swinger cops are going to out themselves as swingers just to bust someone for using a little MDMA. We're not big fans but don't really care if someone else is rolling. Never seen a party where ecstasy was floating around that anyone got bent out of shape over anything. On the other hand haven't been to very many parties where at least one person didn't have a little too much ETOH and had to be asked to leave...or worse. YMMV
*I could see maybe having an issue if they were like openly dealing or something on the website.*
Have the forums become... - Forum Poll - ...a sad parody of the booty call section?
1) Yes, but how the fuck else do you get people to consider fucking you? I mean it's just TOO HARD to actually read profiles and write a thoughtful, provocative email expressing your interest and reasons why you think you might be a good match with a particular person or couple.
2) No, the forums were actually designed expressly to make it so someone has to expend as little effort as possible searching for and connecting with other like-minded swingers.
3) I didn't know there was any other way to try to connect with other people besides the forum. Besides, I'm spending 3 Gold Dragons per month to be a member and I damn well expect to get my money's worth in easy, free nookie! Dracarys!
4) Fuck you, Evil. You probably only get lucky when the junkies who live under the viaduct need a fix and you have a few bucks leftover from your SSI check to pay them for a BJ.
5) Meh, we just spam out Friend Requests and hope a few of the people we send them to will do all the work and try to convince US to fuck THEM. It's reverse psychology!
6) I'm starting to think this poll is just a tad sarcastic.
7) It's Saturday night and our Dance (Fuck) Card is so full we'll have to visit the ER early tomorrow morning for the severe chaffing from fucking so many people. Who needs forums?
8) That does it! We're going back to AFF and cruising for sex partners at run-down dive bars after last call.
BDSM and Swingers? - Where does BDSM fit in the swingers' world... your thoughts and experiences? - Our experience (almost 30 years in the lifestyle) is that the kink community and the swinging community don't mesh all that well. Sure there are some swingers who are into BDSM but by far most people who practice BDSM aren't swingers and more than a few actually look down on swingers (funny, if you think about it) for having consensual sex with multiple partners (with or without whips and chains).
We've dabbled in very light BDSM a time or two and found that it DEFINITELY isn't our thing and other than maybe a little spank on the ass during doggy style sex it isn't the thing for about 99.9% of the swingers we've met.
But look around a bit and you'll find a few swingers who like to play act BDSM on occasion and perhaps even a few who actually practice it as a lifestyle along with their swinging.
International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - My reply was in regards to Whiskey girls comment
swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - man look who is already whining i do not care if i the best spelllers i do not care u it make u feel good about your self calling other names and things like that do so, enjoy life
so if anyone else wants to step up and call me name go for it i have big shoulders for this or i would have not started the forum so who next you TR go for it i do not care or if any one of your forums buddies wantds i am speaking my peace , i THINK alot of u whining babies need to take your own advice , and i know alot of u will have NOOOOOO clue what that means..
so as i have said before ENJOY LIFE and fuck every one else who gets in your way
and as Larry the cable guy says"""Get'r' done"
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - We have done it with toys but want to try it with the real thing. I don't really like toys. Finding the right male or another couple were the female would reciprocate to fulfill this fantasy is proving to be harder than you think. Still trying to work out the logistics. Lol Sorry Hard_Stone you are to big. :-)
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