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Do you mix your vanilla and lifestyle friends? - - We tell anyone who is a late night friend, ie: serious friend, vanilla or not that we have an alternative lifestyle. It has made things so much easier. Our vanilla friends are closer. We make it very clear that we don't have any interest in sex with them for concerns about ruining what is a already a good relationship. I am not talking, work vanillas, they don't need to know. I am talking about people with whom we go dancing or bar hopping. Why lie about who you really are? The whole reason for jumping the hurdle that is the "lifestyle" is to be free with who you really are. Then you are supposed to hide it with people who are supposed to really care about you? Nope.
Because of this, it is really cute when we throw a party or get together. The vanillas spend the whole time excitedly trying to guess who the swingers are. Most of the time it doesn't take much to guess. This reminds me of what got us started on this course. We threw a mostly vanilla roller skating party with some vanilla friends. They invited a whole bunch of people and we invited a whole bunch of people. We invited 3 couples who were swingers who did not know or probably didn't care to hide what they were. The vanilla couple invited once swinger couple totally unaware that they were swingers. We got very outed that night. lol It went really well so it carried over as a "good idea".
Piper
Certified Single Male Program - What do you think? - [quote=SEAKINGHER]That is why I think single males need to be broken down into two groups. Those that are polite swingers and those that are just fuckers.[/quote]
Not just single males....people in general.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - Is there a sign for the rabbits. They are a horny animal!!!!!!!! Taurus & Gemini here.
The definition of cheating - - Interesting discussion. Certainly from a relationship standpoint the classic definition of cheating is being with someone other than your partner physically and/or emotionally. As swingers, however, we often hold ourselves above others and fall back on the lying and/or sneaking around aspect. Personally I feel that being dishonest with the person you hold most dear in this life to be the essence of cheating for me. When information is withheld you take away that person's prerogative to choose whether or not to stay in the relationship with you based on your actions outside of the relationship. There are a million ways people rationalize cheating. I find that a person's attitude towards cheating is a very good litmus test for the depth of their character. Now should we talk about cheating on a test or cheating other people out of their hard earned money? How about cheating on your taxes or at a poker game with friends? At what point DOES cheating become morally reprehensible or should it be "all's fair in love and war" and "every man (or woman) for himself"? Or as SIRNEWBY asserts, is self deception/lying/cheating really the only valid metric? Or did I misunderstand your point, SN? It would be interesting to get feedback from people (I'm sure there are plenty) who've been cheated on.
How do you spot a Swinger..?! - tell tell signs of the lifestyle - I really think that we should go with the wristband idea because even when I got to our clubs I cannot tell who is or isn't! Nothing is worse then having a gf yell at you to quit looking at her man because they aren't swingers...my come back was, I wasn't checking him out, I was looking at you! That shut her up! But seriously, the wristbands would be wonderful!
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - QUEENOFCRUNKXXX,
Your mistake was that you assumed that everyone was at the same level as you. That's not a stab, but an observation. One of the first mistakes we all make is assuming that because we are all "swingers", we are all seasoned veterans of the lifestyle and have ironed out all the wrinkles in our relationships as swingers.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to be on the same page, all the time. I agree with you in that we should all strive to be open and communicate everything we can, to our significant other and the other couple, so that everyone knows where everyone stands with regard to swinger interaction. Does this always happen? No. My advice is don't be discouraged. All you can do is try again or move on.
Everyone is guilty of "DRAMA", including you and me, for that matter. More often than not, those that say "Drama Free" are those that are the biggest perpetrators and perpetuators of it. Just my opinion of course. Better luck next time.
-D-
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - [quote=JEFFSMITH1972][quote=TorqueNTara]we were kinda getting busy last night when the story aired, and just now watched it on the web. Wanted to add something useful to this thread, but see that it has taken a downward, spiraling turn into some geeky abyss.[/quote]
You're right. Let's discuss sports. Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
[/quote]
I was likewise disappointed in the showing of Local Team; at the end of all the rounds, the numbers for our side were mathematically lower than those of our opponents. Any true fan of sports will tell you this cannot be allowed to stand.
PS, Ash vs Evil (Dead, not Doers) on Starz in 24 hours! :)
Polyamory - Please share your thoughts.... - you can be non-monogamous without being a swinger. polygamists aren't swingers.
Swinging with Vanillas - Any success stories? - well first off we were all Vanilla at one time.
We were the other couple being introduced to swing by good friends. We knew they were swingers, not because they told us but someone else "outed" them. it was just sexy flirting and a slow build, Not "hey we are swingers lets fuck".
our suggestion, because they are friends take it slow, put it out there and read how they take it. if they are good friends either way they will still be friends.
As for those looking for the Unicorns we have had better luck with Vanillas than we have in the lifestyle.
Swingers Dares - Text for cards in the game - Alright...let's push the limits.
Dare: Name 2 things (sexually) you've never done before and name 2 people from the group to do them (You can join in or be one of the two).
To help move that one along, you might want to have everyone playing list 3 or 4 things they've never done (but wanted to) on a piece of paper before the game starts.
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