Swingers Forum - Utah Soft Swappers meet and great

Is this for ALL the tiers of softies and if so will there be wristbands or something to identify others who are in your particular group?

EVILDOERS wrote:

Is this for ALL the tiers of softies and if so will there be wristbands or something to identify others who are in your particular group?

Yes all.

You could def do that. Or, alternatively, you could borrow a page from the meet 'n greet at Dave and Busters and have people wear something they they get on their own. Maybe Tier 1 softies wear candy necklaces/bracelets (you can get them at Walmart), Tier two couples wear, like, those candy ring pops, and Tier 3 peeps maybe wear some black jewelry or something (since they're the naughtiest of the 3-lol).

There are only 3 tiers, right? Or you could pick three colors and have people in each tier try to wear something primarily in that particular color. Just throwing out ideas so you don't have to spring for the cost of wristbands. Just looked at the RSVP list and it looks like a few single males didn't get the memo.

That's good. Another thought. You could have name tags. People could just have their first names (and perhaps the name of their spouse/date on it along with the 'number' of the tier they want to be identified with). They could even, I suppose, depending on how you see this group functioning, since you're taking on the reins of do this, have pseudonyms or aliases, if you will, if people want to be more annonymous. Again, just some random thoughts.

How late are you going to let people RSVP or can they just show up at the door. The reason I'm asking is that we are toying with the idea of coming but are also going skiing and might be too trashed if the powder is too good. :-)

EVILDOERS wrote:

That's good. Another thought. You could have name tags. People could just have their first names (and perhaps the name of their spouse/date on it along with the 'number' of the tier they want to be identified with). They could even, I suppose, depending on how you see this group functioning, since you're taking on the reins of do this, have pseudonyms or aliases, if you will, if people want to be more annonymous. Again, just some random thoughts.
How late are you going to let people RSVP or can they just show up at the door. The reason I'm asking is that we are toying with the idea of coming but are also going skiing and might be too trashed if the powder is too good. :-)

If you are coming we will take your RSVP at any time. Are you offering to do name tags? I would be curious as to what people think of name tags in general?

EVILDOERS wrote:

It will just depend on how trashed we are after skiing. I honestly don't know what, if any, method of identifying others who are at the same soft swap level would be the best. Personally, I think name tags are pretty stupid looking and would make people feel like they're at an Amway convention or something. But they would be effective. I'd be curious about what others thought as well.

How about name tags with your usernames 😂? That way we would know who is evil 😀!

Smartflirts wrote:

Here’s a CRAZY idea...instead of name tags and wrist bands...you tell people your name and discuss what boundaries you or others may have. 🤯

That sounds like really getting to know someone. You think it might work?

Smartflirts wrote:

Here’s a CRAZY idea...instead of name tags and wrist bands...you tell people your name and discuss what boundaries you or others may have. 🤯

Wow interacting with other couples verbally to find out if everyone is compatible for having consenting sexual interaction. Gotta admit we have always done it that way. You never know you may omit someone because of their wrist band. Keeping it simple is always good with a large group based on our past experience. Hope everyone has a great time.

THEGMAN wrote:

Are single males if sponsored by a couple allowed to attend ??

Utahldscouple wrote:

Please RSVP on the local party (no single males):
https://swingular.com/partyZone.php?_a=details&_PID=298
We are having a meet and greet for those that are part of the Utah Soft Swappers group/groups. Please RSVP to be put on the list.
Come join Feb 8th for a soft swappers meet and greet in downtown SLC near all the hotels.
The Location –9 PM -1 AM @ Button Up (VIP section) on 134 Pierpont in downtown Salt Lake City (check in with the desk and let them know you are with the lifestyle party)

Sorry given the nature of the event couples only.

RECON wrote:

What the fuck is soft swapping? Is that dick teasing? Or a class on how to get blue balls? We don’t get it.

Well, assuming you aren't trying to be ironic, sarcastic, or even just facetious by asking :-), it can mean different things to different people but I think at it's most basic soft swapping means play up to and until the point where you swap back to your own partner for intercourse. So, basically, sex play or foreplay with your play partner then going back to your primary partner to fuck.


We were actually strictly soft swap our first year or two in the lifestyle. Like many people in the lifestyle here in Utah Ms. Evil and I grew up in strict Mormon households and fucking someone who you're not married to was an utterly foreign concept and right up there close to murder as far as "sins" that the invisible cloud-dwelling wizard frowns on. :-) It took us a little while to make that final mental leap, that it was okay to fuck someone else and that it didn't take anything REAL away from our own relationship, and overcome the inculcation we'd experienced since before we could walk or talk.

Now we enjoy all levels of play. We both realized long ago that we didn't have to have an orgasm during intercourse with someone else to have a fun sexy night with another couple or couples. In fact, we realized that often it made swinging BETTER because neither of us was able to always reliably have an orgasm with all of our play partners. We OFTEN ended up going home afterwards and having sex so that we could finally climax. LOL

I mean who knows you better and knows how to get you off better than your spouse? Everybody likes and gets turned on by different things and play partners, especially new ones, might not always know what to do or exactly how to do it to get you off.

Another thing about soft swap, at least in our experience, is that it often takes a lot of the pressure off of the guys to get it up, keep it up, and/or to stay hard and not climax before their partner does. And I can't count the number of times my wife has been with a guy who, for whatever reason, can't seem to cum and he'll just keep pounding away at her until she's sore, bored, and just wants it over with! YMMV

RECON wrote:

What the fuck is soft swapping? Is that dick teasing? Or a class on how to get blue balls? We don’t get it.

The fact is that no matter how sexually open and sex positive you may be, there will always be lines you are not comfortable crossing. Whether it is fear of unwanted pregnancy, diseases, or simply a desire to keep something special that is only for you and your partner to do together. There are many reasons why couples may choose not be full swap, especially with couples that are in their early days in the lifestyle.

Soft swapping can encompass a wide range of activities, from kissing, to fondling and for some couples, even oral sex with one or more people outside the couple. Simply put, soft swapping means that there is no actual penetration (with the penis) with outside people. Once penetration comes into play, with anyone other than your partner, it’s considered a “full swap”.

Like everything in the lifestyle, good communication should be priority number one. Swinging is about having fun and embracing our positive sexual desires. There is no right or wrong way to swing, please respect others and their limitations (even full swappers have them). Whether you full swap, soft swap, or both, the most important thing is that everyone feels comfortable with everything that goes on. Beyond that, always be safe and above all, have fun!

Smartflirts wrote:

Recon knows what’s up. They have been around a while and they are trolling you. LOL.
Our profile talks a little about softswap and how some fullswap couples can be douchebags to those who don’t full swap. Some of those douchebags WISH they had been more open and cool to us when we first started. The truth is the LS is and should be just fun. No matter your level of play or even no play and just social fun...social fun, flirting, and being open and dressing sexy is our favorite thing. Swapping, at any level, is great as is any sexual experience with the RIGHT people. It’s all the other fun stuff that surrounds those experiences that really makes it fun.

Fwiw, We know RECON. We've actually met once or twice IRL and know his (her?) sense of humor. In fact, we even know the origin of their screen name. It's, like, short for 'recondition' or 'reconstruction' or 'recontour' or something like that.

Anyway, I just thought I would use his/her acerbic comment as a teaching moment to help anyone new to the scene with some of the jargon or slang, if you will, that swingers use so that they'll know which tab (usually A) goes into which slot (usually B)...and when.

Nobody ever told us this valuable insider info when we were noobs and we made a LOT of swinger faux pas. We were taking off our clothes at wholly inappropriate times (and places), tabs were going into the wrong slots (often even into the wrong genders!), dogs and cats were sleeping together...it was MAYHEM. It took us many years to figure it all out on our own and by the time we actually did figure it out we were old and decrepit and nobody wanted to swap (soft OR hard) with us anymore.

Now all we're left with is ULTRA soft swap which usually involves using sock puppets, pantomiming sex, while we watch another couple...also using their own sock puppets. It's quite sad and pathetic.

"BTW: RECON is a military terminology..."

How was the event?