We’re a couple in Sandy. Mid thirties. When we’re mid twenties you just kind of went out on a Friday or Saturday - maybe you met some cool people and maybe you didn’t. We now live here in SLC and nightlife is a little fewer and farther between than we’re used to.
So we’re trying this out but it seems like everyone is not totally legit. Often times a lot of back and forth and wasted time.
Anybody have any tips for how to easily identify the phonies? Or any interest if you’re approximately our age feel free to reach out. We’re definitely not looking for flings. Just a cool couple or 2 to have drinks with and some fun and get together with....knowing that there could be a lot more store for the night!
So we’re trying this out but it seems like everyone is not totally legit. Often times a lot of back and forth and wasted time.
Anybody have any tips for how to easily identify the phonies? Or any interest if you’re approximately our age feel free to reach out. We’re definitely not looking for flings. Just a cool couple or 2 to have drinks with and some fun and get together with....knowing that there could be a lot more store for the night!
Verified members. More than 1 photo. is my tip :P
I would suggest changing your profile to a couple and not a single female!
Yeah we cannot figure out how to change it. Any ideas?
Utahbunny wrote:You can email support but it will take a while. If you said single male it would have been more detrimental. Couples with a well written profile and pictures (of both of them if a couple) in both their public and private galleries usually are key factors. We would suggest you follow the same.
Yeah we cannot figure out how to change it. Any ideas?
We are more the type of send a few emails back and forth then meet up for dinner. You will find everyone is different. Too many times we get in our own ways trying to find that “perfect” couple/situation. We have found some we wouldn’t be that attracted to were so much better in person and vice versa. Be willing to meet up and do so quickly and you will find that eliminates a lot of fakes quickly.
F&D
If you are looking through profiles, try contacting those that have been verified with either the REAL stamp or VIP stamp. That should help to eliminate the fakes and those that aren't really that serious about the lifestyle. It's always a red flag for us when we see a profile that's been on here for a couple years and hasn't been verified as real.
Then work on getting yourselves verified once you get your profile corrected to a couple. That will go a long ways for people taking you seriously when chatting and trying to meet up. We'd also suggest maybe expanding your profile a little to tell others about yourselves, what you are looking for, and what you guys like to do.
Then work on getting yourselves verified once you get your profile corrected to a couple. That will go a long ways for people taking you seriously when chatting and trying to meet up. We'd also suggest maybe expanding your profile a little to tell others about yourselves, what you are looking for, and what you guys like to do.
DOUBLED03 wrote:LOL we just realized we are verified as real. Funny thing is we never did anything to get verified (that we know of).
If you are looking through profiles, try contacting those that have been verified with either the REAL stamp or VIP stamp. That should help to eliminate the fakes and those that aren't really that serious about the lifestyle. It's always a red flag for us when we see a profile that's been on here for a couple years and hasn't been verified as real.
Then work on getting yourselves verified once you get your profile corrected to a couple. That will go a long ways for people taking you seriously when chatting and trying to meet up. We'd also suggest maybe expanding your profile a little to tell others about yourselves, what you are looking for, and what you guys like to do.
Utahldscouple wrote:DOUBLED03 wrote:LOL we just realized we are verified as real. Funny thing is we never did anything to get verified (that we know of).
If you are looking through profiles, try contacting those that have been verified with either the REAL stamp or VIP stamp. That should help to eliminate the fakes and those that aren't really that serious about the lifestyle. It's always a red flag for us when we see a profile that's been on here for a couple years and hasn't been verified as real.
Then work on getting yourselves verified once you get your profile corrected to a couple. That will go a long ways for people taking you seriously when chatting and trying to meet up. We'd also suggest maybe expanding your profile a little to tell others about yourselves, what you are looking for, and what you guys like to do.
Lol, someone you know that has a VIP can verify you as real. So I'd guess you have some VIP friends and one of them did it for you, or maybe you met another VIP couple and they did it for you. I don't believe it notifies you when it happens either. We try and do it for others when we've met them in person at a party or for drinks or something.
DOUBLED03 wrote:Well whoever it was, thank you for doing that for us!
Lol, someone you know that has a VIP can verify you as real. So I'd guess you have some VIP friends and one of them did it for you, or maybe you met another VIP couple and they did it for you. I don't believe it notifies you when it happens either. We try and do it for others when we've met them in person at a party or for drinks or something.
Thank you for taking us to task. We are trying to correct the status. As for pictures of both of us, I regret to inform that you are not even remotely close to our minimum standards. Thus, you can not see photos of the both of us because they are private.
Utahbunny wrote:I don’t think people were expecting you to reveal yourselves to everyone on here, but rather just have photos of the both of you. quite coarse response to whoever that was aimed at though.
Thank you for taking us to task. We are trying to correct the status. As for pictures of both of us, I regret to inform that you are not even remotely close to our minimum standards. Thus, you can not see photos of the both of us because they are private.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Also, Utahbunny, the statement that you are a late 30s couple is inconsistent with the age listed for the male. That, and your anemic profile descriptions, are a red flag to me. There are some of us that read profiles.
And I agree with Candyrocks69 that your comment about minimum standards was harsh. I hope we’re just misinterpreting the comment.
And I agree with Candyrocks69 that your comment about minimum standards was harsh. I hope we’re just misinterpreting the comment.
Our tip would be... meet people rather then chat. We both would rather go have a drink with a couple and have some good conversation. Even if there is no sexual attraction it's better then wasting time on fakes/flakes. Also, people can look very attractive until they open their mouths so it just makes sense to us to just meet. We've been really happy with this method...
D&T
D&T
Ask them area specific questions if they dont have the answers, probably fake.
Harder2017 is right about getting a commitment to meet. If they cannot set a meet up then chances are they may not be serious.
Giving more info about yourselves may attract more of the type of folks you might want to meet. Letting people know what you want may help also.
Giving more info about yourselves may attract more of the type of folks you might want to meet. Letting people know what you want may help also.
GINGERS wrote:
Also, Utahbunny, the statement that you are a late 30s couple is inconsistent with the age listed for the male. That, and your anemic profile descriptions, are a red flag to me. There are some of us that read profiles.
And I agree with Candyrocks69 that your comment about minimum standards was harsh. I hope we’re just misinterpreting the comment.
^ This. Nailed it.
No not coarse in the least. The guy deleted his post that we were responding to. He went on and on about how having no face pictures was a huge red flag; and we don’t have them publicly viewable. I click on his profile and BOOM not one face pic.
He further rants about how our info isn’t consistent - completely disregarding already posted comments by us and others addressing this and how to resolve it. Which is now fixed - but it took admin a couple weeks.
If anything I was OVERLY polite in responding to someone who made no effort to read previous comments and went right to being a straight up A Hole.
He further rants about how our info isn’t consistent - completely disregarding already posted comments by us and others addressing this and how to resolve it. Which is now fixed - but it took admin a couple weeks.
If anything I was OVERLY polite in responding to someone who made no effort to read previous comments and went right to being a straight up A Hole.
Thank. You. For. Making. Zero. Effort. To. Read. The. Above. Comments. Where. We. Were. Discussing. With. Others. How. To. Fix. These. Issues. With. Admin. Which. Have. Been. Subsequently. Fixed.
What does being such a grinder accomplish. We’re a pretty cool couple that lived in LA and NYC before relocating. We got some productive feedback that we did implement - but I can only imagine how horrifying the personalities must be for the people that just took this as an opportunity to bitch and moan.
I love that the “This. Nailed it.” guy is trying to rally troops to hit Park City Live.....must be great company.
What does being such a grinder accomplish. We’re a pretty cool couple that lived in LA and NYC before relocating. We got some productive feedback that we did implement - but I can only imagine how horrifying the personalities must be for the people that just took this as an opportunity to bitch and moan.
I love that the “This. Nailed it.” guy is trying to rally troops to hit Park City Live.....must be great company.
Holy cow!!! I can’t beleive I beat evil to the punch.
When I saw the title of this thread I fully expected to find a dick pic gif with some smart comment about the “tip”.
Maybe he’s on vacation. Have a good time evil.
..........
Aside from that there are some good tips here. Meet don’t chat is a good way to weed them out fast. If they won’t meet for coffee one afternoon chances are they won’t show up any other time. Arrange a meeting early.
My only other tip is don’t get bummed...like bummed out. It’s easy to get frustrated with forums, take replies with a grain of salt. You find all sorts in this arena, even jerks reside on swingular. Keep looking you’ll find someone
Cheers!
When I saw the title of this thread I fully expected to find a dick pic gif with some smart comment about the “tip”.
Maybe he’s on vacation. Have a good time evil.
..........
Aside from that there are some good tips here. Meet don’t chat is a good way to weed them out fast. If they won’t meet for coffee one afternoon chances are they won’t show up any other time. Arrange a meeting early.
My only other tip is don’t get bummed...like bummed out. It’s easy to get frustrated with forums, take replies with a grain of salt. You find all sorts in this arena, even jerks reside on swingular. Keep looking you’ll find someone
Cheers!
Yup well played!! Didn’t even think about ‘tips’!!!
Try going to the social events. You'll be able to meet and chat with others before deciding to "hang out." We don't feel any rush to advance our social circles so this works well. The key point is to not too much effort with anyone in social media who you haven't personally met them. Also, please don't make too much out of the responses to your topics, it doesn't help, and they're rarely warranted and made by people who don't know you or the intent of your comments. Good Luck!
UCouple--
Understood. Let me give you a great for instance. Talking to one couple that had publicly posted face pictures on their profile here. Lots of chatting and e-mails - for weeks - suddenly I'm like 'why do I feel like this individual is just getting off on all the back and forth'. I ask for a real time face picture through kik - and what we get is a 3/4 body shot with no face. I ask them to resend because the face was cut off. Mind you hey had already posted a face picture on their profile here so what's the big deal in sending a current one. Whomever it was on the other end turned into a nut. Had to block the kik user, unfriend here and report to admin.
What's frustrating is all the wasted time that could have been spent talking to others etc... We know what we want. We know our boundaries.
Understood. Let me give you a great for instance. Talking to one couple that had publicly posted face pictures on their profile here. Lots of chatting and e-mails - for weeks - suddenly I'm like 'why do I feel like this individual is just getting off on all the back and forth'. I ask for a real time face picture through kik - and what we get is a 3/4 body shot with no face. I ask them to resend because the face was cut off. Mind you hey had already posted a face picture on their profile here so what's the big deal in sending a current one. Whomever it was on the other end turned into a nut. Had to block the kik user, unfriend here and report to admin.
What's frustrating is all the wasted time that could have been spent talking to others etc... We know what we want. We know our boundaries.
TERDCEL-
Well said. Just frustrating going from phonies and time wasters in one aspect to people posting comments in this thread that are just unproductive - and lazy.
Well said. Just frustrating going from phonies and time wasters in one aspect to people posting comments in this thread that are just unproductive - and lazy.
There are plenty of catfish, even though it’s a paid site.
Your profile is enough info for people to gage initial interest, pics provide a reasonable gage to attraction. Long winded chats usually mean someone is hiding something. They’re not who they say. Their situation is not what they say. Or they just like beating off chatting with real people instead of porn.
Let me show you how it’s done....
Can I buy you a coffee, my schedule is open today
Your profile is enough info for people to gage initial interest, pics provide a reasonable gage to attraction. Long winded chats usually mean someone is hiding something. They’re not who they say. Their situation is not what they say. Or they just like beating off chatting with real people instead of porn.
Let me show you how it’s done....
Can I buy you a coffee, my schedule is open today
Utahbunny wrote:
No not coarse in the least. The guy deleted his post that we were responding to. He went on and on about how having no face pictures was a huge red flag; and we don’t have them publicly viewable. I click on his profile and BOOM not one face pic.
He further rants about how our info isn’t consistent - completely disregarding already posted comments by us and others addressing this and how to resolve it. Which is now fixed - but it took admin a couple weeks.
If anything I was OVERLY polite in responding to someone who made no effort to read previous comments and went right to being a straight up A Hole.
Just another quick tip. If you are on the desktop version of swingular and you hit 'quote message' under the post you are replying to, it puts their message in your response. So when you call out a stupid post (and yes we saw the one you are referring to) it will stay in the thread. Even if they delete their original post, your reply with their message quoted stays in there.
It looks like everyone has already given you plenty of good advice. We agree that going to some meet and greets or events is by far the best way to meet others. But if going to clubs isn't your thing, we totally understand. We hate going to clubs. For us, it's like going to the dentist. We don't want to go and be tortured, but after it's over, you are usually glad you went. The majority of our friends we've met in the lifestyle have come from events, although we have met a few awesome people just through the profiles on swingular, but that process has been a lot more work.
Our online community has it's problems with fakes and flakes. Real people are often not that easy to nail down so we can all get properly sexually "nailed" for a few understandable reasons too. People in Utah, more often than not have large extended families living nearby who drop by, invite you over, have all sorts of family events we want to attend. Utah employers tend to be demanding of their employee's time. Between family get togethers and work, Utahans tend to be busy. Most of our extended family members, and employers are probably still stuck in a more repressed sexual mindset, so for most swingers, swinging does not naturally or comfortably flow into our mix of family time and our work obligations. Hey, this is true to some extent everywhere, just maybe a bit more exacerbated here. Patience and a bit of spontaneity tends to allow for some great sexy adventures.
If you stop and think about it lust and patience don't go hand in hand. When we are in the mood, we want to be all about the mood at that moment. The right place, the right time, and with the right people takes a lot of forethought. Desire motivates the planning. When it all falls together and we can just really, really, really let go in the moment, is when all the fantasy and desire become a magically orgasmic reality. If only it were easier! It's hard not to get a bit cranky, when a plan falls apart, if only temporarily.
If you stop and think about it lust and patience don't go hand in hand. When we are in the mood, we want to be all about the mood at that moment. The right place, the right time, and with the right people takes a lot of forethought. Desire motivates the planning. When it all falls together and we can just really, really, really let go in the moment, is when all the fantasy and desire become a magically orgasmic reality. If only it were easier! It's hard not to get a bit cranky, when a plan falls apart, if only temporarily.
I think everyone has just about covered most of the bases. We would add that you should stay away from all the people who state in their profile that they're a professional couple. There's no such thing as a professional couple, at least not from the standpoint of that being a career track at any major universities (maybe Trump U.?) or there being like a standardized licensing exam for couples. I mean how much does being a professional couple even pay? Does it come with dental? In what ways do professional couples differ from amateur couples? Do they, like, never get into fights or know really complicated sex positions and kinky sex tricks that you only learn after extensive study and testing?
I think they are in the same category as the couples who post 32 pics of the female, zero of the male, and then state in their profile that they are strictly looking for a female "for the hubby".
Evil-
The professional couple thing is kind of like a restaurant without prices on the menu. If you have to ask you can’t afford it.
We have professional on our profile, I’m sure you know this.
So I will make an attempt to defend the stamp. It’s a bit like a couple saying their outdoorsy, and wanting to hang with similarly minded couples. Outdoorsy people don’t want to hang with indoorsy ones.
Professionalism is definitely a social circle. No better than any other but a circle none the less. Is it bad to want to hang with people who share a lifestyle or pass times.
PS It’s good to see you.
The professional couple thing is kind of like a restaurant without prices on the menu. If you have to ask you can’t afford it.
We have professional on our profile, I’m sure you know this.
So I will make an attempt to defend the stamp. It’s a bit like a couple saying their outdoorsy, and wanting to hang with similarly minded couples. Outdoorsy people don’t want to hang with indoorsy ones.Professionalism is definitely a social circle. No better than any other but a circle none the less. Is it bad to want to hang with people who share a lifestyle or pass times.
PS It’s good to see you.
And ..... to answer your question. We actually earn several tens of dollars a year being a professional couple.
Enough to go to the fancy side of this bar at Applebee’s.
Enough to go to the fancy side of this bar at Applebee’s.
Ucouple wrote:
And ..... to answer your question. We actually earn several tens of dollars a year being a professional couple.
Enough to go to the fancy side of this bar at Applebee’s.
We have a few questions. Did you have to take a test or did you make the rookie error of taking money under the table that took away your amateur status? And can you compete in the Olympics (sexual or otherwise) since you're now pros? And is there drug testing involved? We're actually a bit jealous and are hoping to turn pro before we age out of swinging or one of us dies from a previously unknown sexually transmitted disease or from scurvy.
One last question. Does it logically follow that there are professional single males and/or professional unicorns? Asking for a semi-pro friend.
And professional coupling sounds EXHAUSTING! When we come home from work we just wanna relax and watch 'The Bachelor' or 'MY 600lb Life'. Do you have to wear, like, uniforms and do you have to pay dues and join ritzy country clubs and fraternal organizations? I would imagine you'd be asked to be on the board of directors of, say, very high end sex toy companies too. 
HUMMINGBIRD wrote:
Hell I didnt even know there was a fancy side to the bar at Applebee's
That's where they hold the swinger's meet'n greets on Saturday nights (the dance floor is REALLY small so get there early--bogo appetizers to the first 50 swingers!)...and apparently, the annual convention for the Order of Fraternal Unique (Professional) Couples or, O-FUC!, as it's commonly known.
Hi there! Me and my husband are close to your age and have met a lot of people at the dance clubs. You know for sure if they are real. This Saturday, come to Button Up downtown. See you there
Hi there! Me and my husband are close to your age and have met a lot of people at the dance clubs. You know for sure if they are real. This Saturday, come to Button Up downtown. See you there
EVILDOERS wrote:We are a professional couple but we barter in sexual favors
I think everyone has just about covered most of the bases. We would add that you should stay away from all the people who state in their profile that they're a professional couple. There's no such thing as a professional couple, at least not from the standpoint of that being a career track at any major universities (maybe Trump U.?) or there being like a standardized licensing exam for couples. I mean how much does being a professional couple even pay? Does it come with dental? In what ways do professional couples differ from amateur couples? Do they, like, never get into fights or know really complicated sex positions and kinky sex tricks that you only learn after extensive study and testing?
!Everyone we have met have been super nice. I would say to go to meet ups and put yourself out there. Button Up does a LS meet up every Sat. night.. There is no cover charge, just ask for the wristband. It's upstairs in the VIP section of the bar. People really start showing up around 10pm. Also there are some local groups as well.. Ask to join
LoveShack2018 wrote:We can't say enough positive about Button Up.
Everyone we have met have been super nice. I would say to go to meet ups and put yourself out there. Button Up does a LS meet up every Sat. night.. There is no cover charge, just ask for the wristband. It's upstairs in the VIP section of the bar. People really start showing up around 10pm. Also there are some local groups as well.. Ask to join