Is there something I can change on my profile or something I can do to show I'm not like the rest of them?
If only it were that easy. Unfortunately, there is no magic bullet for single guys in the lifestyle. The odds are stacked against you from the get-go because there are SO MANY of you competing for a fixed and finite resource...i.e. the single and married women who are seeking single males (Unless you're bi, I guess, and then add the other bi males. lol).
And, really, the only way to eventually become one of the relatively few successful single males, IMHO, is to be patient, pay your dues (figuratively), and put in the very hard work to eventually show that you're one of the few who ARE actually good, respectful, reliable, nice guys. It WON'T be easy. In fact, we've been asked variations of this question MANY times over the years and have honestly told most of the single guys who asked us that it's likely FAR easier, in our opinion, for a single guy to find a girl to be his swing partner than it is to somehow eventually rise above all the fakes, flakes, and players and become a successful single guy who has a good amount of success in swinging.
We've noticed a LOT more single guys pairing up with single ladies or even vanilla girls (And, we assume, converting them to the lifestyle.) over the past few years. Perhaps some of them can chime in about their experiences and tell us if it indeed was easier to find a partner to swing with than it was to navigate these waters as a single male.
And, really, the only way to eventually become one of the relatively few successful single males, IMHO, is to be patient, pay your dues (figuratively), and put in the very hard work to eventually show that you're one of the few who ARE actually good, respectful, reliable, nice guys. It WON'T be easy. In fact, we've been asked variations of this question MANY times over the years and have honestly told most of the single guys who asked us that it's likely FAR easier, in our opinion, for a single guy to find a girl to be his swing partner than it is to somehow eventually rise above all the fakes, flakes, and players and become a successful single guy who has a good amount of success in swinging.
We've noticed a LOT more single guys pairing up with single ladies or even vanilla girls (And, we assume, converting them to the lifestyle.) over the past few years. Perhaps some of them can chime in about their experiences and tell us if it indeed was easier to find a partner to swing with than it was to navigate these waters as a single male.
We agree with Evil. It’s an uphill battle. The different taste, styles, and ideas vary from couple to couple so drastically it’s impossible. With that said, a well written and eloquent written profile coupled (no pun intended) with some tasteful photos go along way. We did look at your profile and would suggest you may want to review your public profile pictures.
We play primarily with couples, but occasion look for a mmf. Things that stand out to us, a sincere profile, one that tells us about you as a person. No dick pics, no “I can fuck for hours and have a monster cock.” For us as a couple, one who can respect BOTH of us always. Guys who dont read profiles and ask for shit that we say we are not looking for are an instant block.
Thanks for the feedback so far! Yeah even as a single male, sometimes guys will message me and they clearly didn't even bother to look at my profile. Utahldscouple, I removed the classic "SM" photos, what do you suggest I put in place of them? How critical are public photos if you know there are face photos on the private?
We agree with utahldscouple, your profile is very respectful, whitch a couple really wants to see, however you only have one public photo and it really doesn’t show you, if you really look at couples profiles that have at least 5 to 7 pics that are public, add some more respectable pics to your public album, and maybe one nice cock pic but don’t make it your profile pic like every other single guy. When we are looking forba single guy, we look atba nice pic of them, then read their profile, then check out a cock pic ifbwe are interested.
Strongly suggest that you read profiles in depth and try to to connect on a personal level. Being good looking, having a huge dick, or a great body helps...but a lot of women are seduced by intellect. If the woman is turned on the guy will be as well. Also try to find a female friend...not even a gf just someone to come with you and vouch for you. Be friendly not dirty 
ps we would love to see your dick 
ps we would love to see your dick Since I teach sensual massage courses for singles and couples, I have something more valuable to bring to the table than just another weenie and this helps. I was born and raised Mennonite, but I write erotica, have ridden my motorcycle coast to coast for the Alzheimer's association and make youtube vidoes on a variety of subjects. Be interesting - someone they would want to get to know even if sex never happens. What are you passionate about? What are you good at? Share what makes you - you. Find out what makes them - them. When I reach out to a couple, I want to connect with them on a social level first. So many single guys are all about getting into the woman's pants like she's a sex doll to be used, as opposed to a person who is choosing to let you into her body.
Don't talk about sex stuff, don't push to set up a meeting. If they like you on a personal level, the rest of it will follow. The biggest sex organ is the BRAIN. Turn THAT on and you'll do well. Find your common interests, experiences, etc.
And for God's sake, learn to spell and punctuate, lol! (This is to all single guys, btw. Not necessarily you, HOYNY! Intelligence is sexy...
Don't talk about sex stuff, don't push to set up a meeting. If they like you on a personal level, the rest of it will follow. The biggest sex organ is the BRAIN. Turn THAT on and you'll do well. Find your common interests, experiences, etc.
And for God's sake, learn to spell and punctuate, lol! (This is to all single guys, btw. Not necessarily you, HOYNY!
Intelligence is sexy...I agree with a fit body^ some guys do not take care of themselves and then get mad when I tell them no
HOYNY wrote:A few pictures of your body. Face pics help a lot but understand some people aren’t comfortable with those in your public album. If you have a nice cock show it but with more than just the cock (more body). Enough to garner interest.
Thanks for the feedback so far! Yeah even as a single male, sometimes guys will message me and they clearly didn't even bother to look at my profile. Utahldscouple, I removed the classic "SM" photos, what do you suggest I put in place of them? How critical are public photos if you know there are face photos on the private?
Although we have enjoyed meeting single guys in the past and had some great times, we have decided to not meet any currently. That will probably change again in the future, but we don't know when.
We all know that it's the women who usually run the show. So, you need to appeal to them. Most wives that we know are more interested in intelligence and humor. Your profile should be well thought out and exude those traits. We love Evildoers profile. The typical lines such as boasting about stamina, having a big dick, do not appeal to us. Although the Mrs loves mfm, I prefer couples because I want to be with the other wife. What do you offer as a single guy? We have friends on this website and only two are single guys because they offer something else other than sex.
In regards to photos, most of the wives that we know are more attracted to smiles. Add some photos without hats and sunglasses and SMILE! The selfie behind a steering wheel is not attractive. Post pics of you doing a myriad of things that you enjoy doing (but not so far away that we need a magnifying glass to see you in the photo). Pics should vary from being dressed up at an event, sailing, on the golf course, in front of a landmark you have traveled to, drinking at an apres-ski party, etc. You get the point. These photos show your interests and you having FUN. They will attract those of have similar interests. If you must show your dick, Mrs. Partyinlv prefers to see it as part of the entire body (not just the cock).
Most couples hide their faces in private photos because of the fear that vanillas check out this website and will discover that we allow other people to have sex with our spouses. That's taboo to most in society. But, we will never understand why most single guys just don't have face pics on their public photos. So what if someone sees you on here. If you were on Tinder or Plenty of Fish, you would have public face pics. What's the difference? If there is a reason, we would love to hear from someone. So, we often think that the single guy must be married and is cheating. If we are in a conversation with you, we don't want have to then ask for you to open your face pics and then say "no thanks". Make it easier for us.
We all know that it's the women who usually run the show. So, you need to appeal to them. Most wives that we know are more interested in intelligence and humor. Your profile should be well thought out and exude those traits. We love Evildoers profile. The typical lines such as boasting about stamina, having a big dick, do not appeal to us. Although the Mrs loves mfm, I prefer couples because I want to be with the other wife. What do you offer as a single guy? We have friends on this website and only two are single guys because they offer something else other than sex.
In regards to photos, most of the wives that we know are more attracted to smiles. Add some photos without hats and sunglasses and SMILE! The selfie behind a steering wheel is not attractive. Post pics of you doing a myriad of things that you enjoy doing (but not so far away that we need a magnifying glass to see you in the photo). Pics should vary from being dressed up at an event, sailing, on the golf course, in front of a landmark you have traveled to, drinking at an apres-ski party, etc. You get the point. These photos show your interests and you having FUN. They will attract those of have similar interests. If you must show your dick, Mrs. Partyinlv prefers to see it as part of the entire body (not just the cock).
Most couples hide their faces in private photos because of the fear that vanillas check out this website and will discover that we allow other people to have sex with our spouses. That's taboo to most in society. But, we will never understand why most single guys just don't have face pics on their public photos. So what if someone sees you on here. If you were on Tinder or Plenty of Fish, you would have public face pics. What's the difference? If there is a reason, we would love to hear from someone. So, we often think that the single guy must be married and is cheating. If we are in a conversation with you, we don't want have to then ask for you to open your face pics and then say "no thanks". Make it easier for us.
In light of one of the above responses I felt compelled to add that, first of all, not everyone wants a "stud". Most, in fact, want a polite, respectful, handsome and fit guy to enhance their lifestyle experience. If you are one of the all too frequent single males who mistakenly think that all or even most married guys here are basically cucks, to quote Thumper on South Park, "...you're gonna have a bad time." And yes, many women like confident men but there is a very fine line between confidence and cockiness. I guarantee that if you fall onto the cockiness side of the equation you're probably only going to hit it off with the very small minority of swingers who ARE into the cuck lifestyle. Also, don't talk or act like playing in the lifestyle is your own personal porno. The above advice goes for married guys too, by the way, but this thread is about SM's.
We also wanted to add a comment about hosting. Maybe our situation is different because we live in Las Vegas, where we get a lot of visitors for conventions. The single guys we've met in the past had nice rooms on The Strip.
But, in other areas, it may be different. We would understand that guys in their 20s may not be able to host as they may have roommates. But most guys in their 40s and 50s should be able to host in a clean and uncluttered environment. If they can't host, we have to wonder why.
If a couple cannot host, such as ourselves, due to our kids, then the single guy should host. If you can't, then perhaps a hotel room is necessary. However, we don't know any couples who would pay for the room so that a SM can have sex with the wife. Perhaps there are some couples who will. We just don't know any. Unless you get lucky because they already had a room, the cost would likely be yours. So, on your profile where you state that you cannot host, perhaps you should offer some alternatives.
It's much more difficult for single guys in the lifestyle. But, we hope you heed the advice you received from all these comments on this forum and we wish you all the best.
But, in other areas, it may be different. We would understand that guys in their 20s may not be able to host as they may have roommates. But most guys in their 40s and 50s should be able to host in a clean and uncluttered environment. If they can't host, we have to wonder why.
If a couple cannot host, such as ourselves, due to our kids, then the single guy should host. If you can't, then perhaps a hotel room is necessary. However, we don't know any couples who would pay for the room so that a SM can have sex with the wife. Perhaps there are some couples who will. We just don't know any. Unless you get lucky because they already had a room, the cost would likely be yours. So, on your profile where you state that you cannot host, perhaps you should offer some alternatives.
It's much more difficult for single guys in the lifestyle. But, we hope you heed the advice you received from all these comments on this forum and we wish you all the best.
Thanks everyone I will make some changes based on the advice you all gave!
I have dick/body/face pics on my private profile, but I'll go ahead and take some tasteful ones for my public.
What are your thoughts on my current public profile pic?
SexyFun: I can't add/message you
!
I will make some changes based on the advice you all gave!I have dick/body/face pics on my private profile, but I'll go ahead and take some tasteful ones for my public.
What are your thoughts on my current public profile pic?
SexyFun: I can't add/message you
!HOYNY wrote:First, hopefully the couple you were with is ok with posting it (even with no face pictures just a respect thing). Second, it looks a little downloaded. Would prefer to see more focus on “you”.
Thanks everyone
I have dick/body/face pics on my private profile, but I'll go ahead and take some tasteful ones for my public.
What are your thoughts on my current public profile pic?
Utahldscouple wrote:HOYNY wrote:First, hopefully the couple you were with is ok with posting it (even with no face pictures just a respect thing). Second, it looks a little downloaded. Would prefer to see more focus on “you”.
Thanks everyone
I have dick/body/face pics on my private profile, but I'll go ahead and take some tasteful ones for my public.
What are your thoughts on my current public profile pic?
Good hope! They were ok with me posting, I checked beforehand. Will shoot some more of me and have it be the first one.
It is awesome that you are trying to research this. My wife and I started off with single males, and hotwifing. It didnt last long. The first few days were great, lots of sexting, fantasizing, a few meet ups. But the sexts don’t stop. After a meetup, the very next day “cant wait to fuck you again...” shit. And my absolute biggest gripe, is that I vetted most of the meets, and not one, not one guy, gave me a single text after starting to talk to the wife. No asking permission for another meet, no ‘thank you for allowing me...’ messages, it was like I didn’t exist. As some have stated previously, intellect, charm and respect are as or more important than looks or cock size. We talked with a damn good looking guy who just went 100mph to the sex talk with my wife, was asking her to come over and blow him before even asking her fucking name. I love MMF’s, love to see my wife pleasured, but the majority of how single males are ruin it for the minority of respectable ones that are out there. Best of luck to you man
It seems like there are just better sites for singles aff tinder and many more swingers are picky and we get so many single guys it’s like going to buy a car too many choices and is overwhelming with the pick up line HEY or dtf no we aren’t and keep you dick pic to yourself unless asked for it it’s tiring of the single males wining about what they want why can’t they be different idk I hope the admins will help move theses post to hook up and not forum discussions I know not everyone agrees just my two cents good luck
Hmmmmm great question
I’ll say get verified (like me WINK)... I remember those days when I was not verified Boy it was tough.. lol now I am Mr Picky Picky Single male. Lol
I’ll say get verified (like me WINK)... I remember those days when I was not verified Boy it was tough.. lol now I am Mr Picky Picky Single male. Lol
Is there a way for single males to get verified these days? I’ve looked into it but couldn’t find anything...
Oh yeah... we are only a lucky few 😬. 🤣🤣🤣
JS60V wrote:
Keep in mind that the vast majority of couples who play with other couples, are only into the "couple" because they want to actually play with the wife.
Couldn't agree more. The wife and I talk about this being the situation all the time. We have only met 1 couple that its felt like they cared about both of us and the friendship still lasts. Most come over for drinks and it seems like all eyes are locked on her and I might as well be fishing. Its a woman's world and all us guys are just living in it 😂
To the couple who messaged me about verifying, you aren't accepting messages from single males so I can't message you back. Can you either add me or shoot me a message with your text number or kik me and I can respond?