Polyamory is something we believe in and another reason why we are in the lifestyle but we've experimented in this aspect very little while swinging. One reason being is every couple and single we meet isnt into it and it really is all about finding the right people. Its not something we really talk about or push onto others. But I'm curious to know how those who've done it or are currently in multiple relationships have accomplished this in their lives
It is a difficult thing, we have dated a few couplea but nothing has lasted. Most people dont know what they want or dont really understand the concept in general. We have had very little to no success in this area. But it isn't for everyone and we have noticed that unless you are super active and go to all the get togethers and meets and stuff you're not considered to be legit or real poly... so that is another aspect that makes the poly life hard. But we have noticed that when in another relationship with others it has made the feelings and relationship between us like we are newly dating again and love that.
We've dabbled in the poly dynamic and while it can be a heady experience (and fraught with many VERY real pitfalls) I think it would be relatively hard to go into any meeting, encounter, or relationship with polyamory is your primary goal. Shouldn't ANY relationship that moves into that territory happen organically and without a preset agenda?
Flirtyfriends
That’s the best description I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing that. I know a couple someone else’s that will read this and smile 😜
That’s the best description I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing that. I know a couple someone else’s that will read this and smile 😜
Though we have not found it we seek it, it takes time to find those special ones in any relationship so I'm sure if you continue to seek it out it can happen
We have an interest in doing this, however the problem is we’ve been hurt and it makes us a little hesitant to stick our necks out again. The other issue is sometimes when one of us is garnering interest, the other isn’t and then issues can potentially start to pop up. What would be ideal is another couple that we are poly with, as in I (guy) am involved with the other female partner and my wife is involved with the other guy. Problem is, getting that while having the right level of chemistry and connection for all parties is like trying to throw a needle through a moving target inside of a haystack while suspended from a helicopter in a raging wind storm.
experience wrote:
Our ultimate goal is to find another couple or single to share our relationship with, we have not had much luck with this, however, we do know a couple that has found another couple and it has been working perfectly for them, so we have not given up hope!
We’re just waiting for you to stop by. We have found it hard to meet the right couples. A couple times in the past ten years we have met and clicked with a couple. The most it lasted was three years then priorities changed and they went off into neverland not to be seen again. ☹️
Some of us have been in a pair bonded relationship for quite some time. We have been together for over 36 years. You build a life together, and if you are happy together, your relationship grows tighter while simultaneously expanding. If you have children together that adds a huge dynamic that you both share together. Enjoying an open non-monogamous relationship together has a lot to do with the trust that comes with a joyful expanding relationship. Joyful heart felt commitment and connection between the two of us, is what allows us to enjoy each other, and to enjoy our soulmate enjoying sexual experiences, and yes even romantic feelings for someone other than ourselves. If our big lives together were not happy, functional, sexual and romantic, then someone new might represent a threat. Unhappy people tend to look for something, or someone better, or a replacement. So, we carry an open mind and even an open heart. The reality is that our big and happy lives together take up most of our time, and most of our attention, sexual expression, romantic expression, and more. In truth, there isn't enough of us to spread around, for an even Steven, commitment in time and attention dedicated toward a full enchilada polyamorous relationship. We are both selfish, in our desire to mostly attend to one another. To favor one another over all others. It would take an earth shaking connection to alter our lifestyle enough to be truly poly committed. If it ever happened, it would have to naturally flow and expand as easily as what we share as a pair. Neither of us have come close to feeling so inclined, at least so far in this adventure. If poly meant sharing strong feelings for and with a sexual partner beyond just the physical attraction, and the sex itself, we have both enjoyed that experience. Really that is more of a poly light sort of thing, where poly doesn't saturate all aspects of your life and decision making. Sorry I couldn't resist. If it happens it happens. It's interesting that it didn't really happen when we were dating people, who self identified as poly. Connections are not always convenient. It is important to be sensitive toward peoples desires. If you know up front, you are not really in line with their real desire, be honest about it. If you don't know yourselves what you really want, be honest about that too. Introspection is underrated. In the world of dating, monogamous, and in all the levels of open relationships, don't we bump our heads and bruise our hearts, and perhaps the heads and hearts of others, not out of any real ill intent, but because, we are only human and just trying to figure it out?
There are good people who really only want to date people they might fall in love with and share some commitment. You probably won't know if there is that kind of connection without dating. Poly people may or may not choose to have sex before that happens, with other couples or singles they are dating. But really, just like dating in the vanilla world, if someone is really, really, looking for a deeper relationship, if they are honest and upfront about it, then the people they may date can let them know whether or not they are also looking for a deeper relationship, and if they are, do they think they feel that kind of connection. People in the vanilla world who are looking for that perfect monogamous partner often have sex with people they date before there is any commitment. Some choose not to. A woman I know, who would really like to find a lifelong partner, recently told me she still has not found the right guy, but she is certainly enjoying the test drives in bed part of the search.
There are good people who really only want to date people they might fall in love with and share some commitment. You probably won't know if there is that kind of connection without dating. Poly people may or may not choose to have sex before that happens, with other couples or singles they are dating. But really, just like dating in the vanilla world, if someone is really, really, looking for a deeper relationship, if they are honest and upfront about it, then the people they may date can let them know whether or not they are also looking for a deeper relationship, and if they are, do they think they feel that kind of connection. People in the vanilla world who are looking for that perfect monogamous partner often have sex with people they date before there is any commitment. Some choose not to. A woman I know, who would really like to find a lifelong partner, recently told me she still has not found the right guy, but she is certainly enjoying the test drives in bed part of the search.
Ho Lee Fuk Delicious. Are you a philosophy major?? :-)
INSIN wrote:
Ho Lee Fuk Delicious. Are you a philosophy major?? :-)
It's me Irish upbringing. Always trying to poetically justify socially radical behaviors. Might be the Guinness.
We are totally searching for a polyamorous relationship. I feel like it would be such a giant piece to our lives. But there is zero (that we have found) women looking to be in a relationship with a married couple. I want that connection and companionship with another female, and he also wants the same thing.
I feel like having a 3rd adult would make everything complete.
I feel like having a 3rd adult would make everything complete.
@leatherandlace1234 would you be open to a couple or just wanting a female?