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Swingers Forum - Best way to get started?

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We are new ... what are some of the best ways to meet other people? We aren't loud party people. We prefer intimate conversation in small groups or one on one.
We suggest finding a few couples you are interested in or have some things in common with. Message them and arrange a meet up. Once you find a few people you click with you may be invited to get togethers or house parties. This will allow you to meet more people. You have to put yourself out there and sometimes get out of your comfort zone. Just our 2 cents. Hope this helps. Good luck in your search.
We aren’t the loud party types either. We have attended a few and find they are great if you are meeting people but if you are new sometimes can be intimidating. Definitely reaching out to couples that you find interesting and arrange a dinner date with usually works best for us. We find we spend more time searching/weeding then we do playing. It gets frustrating at times because getting 4 people all on the same page with good chemistry is difficult. Good luck in your search.
Is it considered rude or inappropriate to ask for pictures before continuing to email or chat? I am being honest when I say attraction is essential for me. I don't want to lead anyone on by emailing or chatting extensively only to find out later that there isn't an attraction.
Sharing of pictures is fine and expected. Attraction is important to us as well.
Sunnyday wrote:

Is it considered rude or inappropriate to ask for pictures before continuing to email or chat? I am being honest when I say attraction is essential for me. I don't want to lead anyone on by emailing or chatting extensively only to find out later that there isn't an attraction.


Not rude or inappropriate at all. However, if YOU initiate contact it's you who should offer pictures of yourselves first and then ask those you're contacting to reciprocate. If you don't do it in that order you will come across as a fake or simply a picture collector...especially since you don't have any private photos and/or photos of the male half.
Respect of boundaries, honesty and empathy are paramount and the legs that balance a successful lifestyle experience. You may find that a few people will try to push your boundaries beyond your comfort levels. If a relationship begins a bit unilateral in it's nature, it may well continue to advance in that same direction. The cheaters and scammers are pretty easy to discover early on. They won't act toward you respectfully, honestly or with empathy.

Picture sharing is common. You may find that some within the community are a bit more, or a bit less exhibitionist than your current comfort zone. Sharing does not have to be exactly equal between friends, but we have found that people who don't want to share anything at all, but get a bit demanding about seeing a lot from you will behave the same way if you ever actually meet them. Don't ask for more than you are willing to share. If someone shows you more than you are willing to share, that's their choice.


We were empty nesters for a while, but not at present. We used to have dinner parties with maybe 6 to 8 people and playtime for dessert. Everyone already sort of knew each other before the parties and much better after. It was great! These days it's hotel, motel, Holiday Inn for us. Actually we like the Hyatt in Cottonwood Heights near the Elixir Lounge or the Hotel Monaco. One day we will get back to in home dinner parties. So yes, there are people who meet in smaller more intimate settings.

Welcome! May your adventures delight you!
Go to the Venus Game night on the 15th, it's laid back, fun, and allows for good conversation and getting to know others. It was set up for the very reasons you mention. It's a great place for new people as well as those who have been around but are tired of the loud parties where you can't get to know anyone. Come and check it out!
CALIANA wrote:

Go to the Venus Game night on the 15th, it's laid back, fun, and allows for good conversation and getting to know others. It was set up for the very reasons you mention. It's a great place for new people as well as those who have been around but are tired of the loud parties where you can't get to know anyone. Come and check it out!


The game nights sound like fun. Unfortunately Saturday nights rarely work for Mr. Delicious.
Wow! So many people reaching out to help us newcomers. I appreciate your willingness to offer advise, suggestions and personal experiences.
Just a thought: When sharing photos how does one maintain discretion and privacy?
There are a couple of options. You can put them in a private folder and only allow friends to see them. You can also, black out parts of the face (although we can’t tell you how many bitter faces seem to be on here 😀). Sharing via Kik helps but we find that if someone we know is on here well they are on here too 😀! We don’t share too many naughty pics with our faces as we have found others sharing them or even claiming them as their own but haven’t had too many issues for the most part. Just use necessary precaution.
Sunnyday wrote:

Wow! So many people reaching out to help us newcomers. I appreciate your willingness to offer advise, suggestions and personal experiences.
Just a thought: When sharing photos how does one maintain discretion and privacy?


That's the catch, isn't it? At some point, you have to take a leap of faith and let people you're potentially interested in see your faces. That's why there is sort of an unwritten rule that if YOU are the ones reaching out that you should probably be the ones to take that step first and if someone reaches out to you, they should be the first to do that. Of course, that point is moot if, as some do, they already have face pics in their profile.

If you're really paranoid about sending face pics and/or having them in the locked/private section of your profile (and there are, despite what some may think, valid concerns in that regard) then your best bet is to probably stick to meet and greets or parties. It's definitely a bit of a Catch 22 in that regard.
We just take the attitude that if somebody recognizes us, that means they have a paid subscription, because that's the only way they can view any pictures other than the main profile photo. So we keep our faces off that one, but we don't worry about our other public photos. If somebody we know says, "Hey, we saw you on Swingular!", our response would be, "Then you must be swingers, too. Care to meet up?".
Wow, brings back many scary feelings... we decided we would like to spice up a weekend and found a theme party in SLC at the old exchange place. We sat in the car for almost an hour to get up the nerve to go in. We meet two couples at that party that became great friends. One we still hang out and travel together on a regular basis. The other well, the guy turned out to be a bit of a ??? You can guess.

We then started hanging out at habbits, met many great people, eventually we decided it was time to try swinging, or at least some such mblance of it. No kissing guy to girl. No full swap, the misses was good with everything above the waist. We stayed that way until we were ready to venture a bit further.

For us the key and after 12 years in the LS was to never be in a rush. If it happens it happens. We host 2-3 parties at our house each year. Well, not this summer we’re remodeling, such a drag. And of the 15 or so parties we have hosted only 3 resulted I. Us getting down and dirty. Not to say there wasn’t opportunity just no hurry.

Even today, we send out welcome to the site and a personal introduction with our real names to about 10-15 new members a month with the knowledge we may never meet them, but if we did all is good.

Our advise, there is no rush. And never take one for the team, it just causes problems. Of all the couples that we have known on here, the ones that fail are the ones that cheat. And why cheat... shows their true nature.

Final though. We have always been very careful with our private albums. Over hundred face pics with us in compromising positions. So unless we have met we don’t share. This past weekend we sent out some invites to attend Burning Man wit( our theme camp next year. We received a response from a coup,e that lives very close. So we said here let’s be friends, we live here, drop by any time and say hello. The next day we get an email, “ oh, I should have said I’m a single male now, does that make a difference?” Well for Burning Man it doesn’t, but he lied to us. He is has his profile listing his wife’s likes and dislikes like he is still married. Is it too difficult to change the info, ad a note providing your current Satan’s until admin changes your status. No we were caught in the all to common bait and switch. Be very careful single males are natorious liars. And so are married cheating males. Quick unfriend, block, and never will he talk t9 us again.... no excuses. So always be on the lookout.

And yes evildoers, as often as I chime in about single males, friend requests, I let us get deceived. I feel so foolish..

Mr. Simple
I think the best way to meet people is to attend small house parties. You can go and mingle and verify the couples are really couples. Most house parties we have attended are a low pressure way to speak to others in the lifestyle and decide whether you have something in common before committing. Generally there is no pressure to play unless you want to. Good luck with your quest!
We prefer to date other couples and while it can take a great deal of patience when you are successful it is great. There are some great couples on this site but remember in our age group the choices may not seem as good as you might want. We found when we set out on our swinging journey that soft swap was not really working for us so we moved to full swap very quickly. The best rule we found was be on the same page and always communicate with each other. It really helps avoid the jealousy and drama that can occur when you are new. Always remember it take all 4 people to be attracted and willing if thats what you are looking for. Good luck and good swinging.
midcrisis wrote:

Is that entirely true? because I'm kind of camera shy. We literally have a handful of pictures of myself where we have a boatload of her from one part of the spectrum to the other.
It definitely helps!
The area is new to me also. But what the heck. I will put myself out there, and hopefully the right couple will come along.


Sunnyday wrote:

Is it considered rude or inappropriate to ask for pictures before continuing to email or chat? I am being honest when I say attraction is essential for me. I don't want to lead anyone on by emailing or chatting extensively only to find out later that there isn't an attraction.


Asking for a photo is not wrong. We all wish to be attracted to the couple or individual you are chatting with and wanting to confirm we are all on the same page. Its not considered rude but a form of establishing mutual respect and grounds on pushing forward if visually its a Go Ahead. Yes, you will have other factors. :)
I'm interested in singles. Would mind a wife gift. I'm been single great part of my life. The FREAKNICC NEEDS RELEASE.
I'm interested in singles. Would mind a wife gift. I'm been single great part of my life. The FREAKNICC NEEDS RELEASE.
I am new to this but am also very passionate creature omm
We are only 90days in, but in the experiences we have had, most couples want a few meet and greets before hopping in the sheets. It’s slow, but also ensures everyone is comfortable, and gives you and you SO plenty of time to communicate and discuss and be more sure that you are ok with things.
Just let us know when you’re free to meet!!
I had a fantasy of hotwifing, when we finally agreed tongive it a go, it was hot, we both were bery into it. We scheduled another, amd another. But them other realitied kicked it. The single dudes would sext before hand, afterhand, ask when they can have another meetup, and after three or so encounter her phone was blowing up all day. One encounter she had one of the beat fucks of her life and she wanted another meetup with him, and he wanted a ffm threesome with her. And in all of these, even thought it was me that reached out to the guy and arranged, not ONCE did any of them ask if i was with the private texts, not one asked if another meetup was ok., I started getting real insecure real quick. But we comminicated, thats the biggest piece. I told her what I was having issues with, and she respected itninstantly. We moved to mmf since I felt more secure being there, but still had the problem of the single dude drama and moved to couples after that. Point is, communicate often. Take your time on the first few, baby steps if not fully comfortable, amd respect each others mindset. Do NOT just jump in and do it tonplease your spouse, if younare not both fully in it, its a recipe for problems. My 2 cents
Good advice, but we all need to respect others and not PM without permission. Seems like common courtesy. Good luck to you!!!
another thought, after reading your profile is to start with your single female goal. it was what me and my wife did and it was a blast on our first time. though id recommend that if its that your wife is ok with playing with her... have the husband leave for a minute first. let them warm up. i was getting eager and they both kinda sat there chatting about pets.... (ugh) eventually i had them both take it to our play room... only to chat about their cats (ugh!!!) and then my wife being the amazing woman she is has me do a few things outside the room. giving them time to get a lot more intimate. by the time i came back. they were making out to the point of fucking each other with their tongues. and after a minute of play i came over to help ;-)
Scottdee wrote:

I am new at this and although I did have the opportunity to have a one on one (it was fantastic) but I am ready to go to the next level with a couple or a group but how ? I am not getting any response to friend request's or otherwise, HELP !

No one likes Polo Ralph Lauren here, that's the problem for sure. Switch to Old Navy attire.
We are very interested