So, a couple months ago, I (Mr) met a girl on OkCupid. She said she was in an open relationship, so we met for drinks then met for some play time at my house (where she met my wife). We had a great time, and were making plans to hook up again this week, when I got a call from her last night. I answered and it was her husband, calling from her phone, asking me questions about my texting his wife. Apparently, they aren't in an open relationship at all. So basically, she cheated on him with me, which makes me feel guilty and bad for the guy. I know it wasn't my fault, but I still feel bad. I hate cheaters. My wife and I spent a lot of time on our relationship and communication before we decided to get into the lifestyle, so it's kinda a pet peeve of mine when I meet people who don't think enough of their partner to communicate with them and just cheat on them.
How many of you has this happened to? Is there any defense?
How many of you has this happened to? Is there any defense?
That happened to us. But instead of a wife it was the husband. We never met but was about to meet for the first time. Instead of him showing up his wife called and started yelling at my wife. Never saw him on the site again.
Always a good idea to confirm any claim of open relationship status. "Would you mind if I just got a quick confirmation from your husband that this is okay? I just like to know that everyone involved doesn't have any objections." She probably would have ghosted you (or given you a lame excuse) at that point and you could have acted accordingly. People lie all the time. And, sadly, when it comes to sex it seems like they are even MORE likely to lie.
It was an open marriage, the husband just didn't know it yet...
UTFunTime wrote:
So, a couple months ago, I (Mr) met a girl on OkCupid. She said she was in an open relationship, so we met for drinks then met for some play time at my house (where she met my wife). We had a great time, and were making plans to hook up again this week, when I got a call from her last night. I answered and it was her husband, calling from her phone, asking me questions about my texting his wife. Apparently, they aren't in an open relationship at all. So basically, she cheated on him with me, which makes me feel guilty and bad for the guy. I know it wasn't my fault, but I still feel bad. I hate cheaters. My wife and I spent a lot of time on our relationship and communication before we decided to get into the lifestyle, so it's kinda a pet peeve of mine when I meet people who don't think enough of their partner to communicate with them and just cheat on them.
How many of you has this happened to? Is there any defense?
just fuck the hubby and you'll feel better
What Evildoers said. Exactly.
Both guys and girls cheat. Admittedly it’s more common among guys but we know women do it too. It’s sad and I nicole. We LOATH cheaters and those who enable it. If someone actually cares about CONSENTUAL non-monogamy they should require actual consent from all parties. We would require an in-person meeting or at a minimum a phone call with a married girl’s spouse before we would play with her. Even the phone call would be a stretch and require a good degree of trust.
We have seen the pain cause by infidelity and we NEVER want to do anything to Inflict that pain on another person.
We are aren’t judgemental but we draw the line at cheating. We do judge them: Cheaters are sad people, making very bad decisions. They need serious help. There is a better way to live.
Both guys and girls cheat. Admittedly it’s more common among guys but we know women do it too. It’s sad and I nicole. We LOATH cheaters and those who enable it. If someone actually cares about CONSENTUAL non-monogamy they should require actual consent from all parties. We would require an in-person meeting or at a minimum a phone call with a married girl’s spouse before we would play with her. Even the phone call would be a stretch and require a good degree of trust.
We have seen the pain cause by infidelity and we NEVER want to do anything to Inflict that pain on another person.
We are aren’t judgemental but we draw the line at cheating. We do judge them: Cheaters are sad people, making very bad decisions. They need serious help. There is a better way to live.
So what if you have a partner in the lifestyle. You are in an open relationship. But that person hides some of the meetings and lies about seeing some of the people they see. To me that is cheering too. It is a relationship killer. I was seeing a guy who was in an open relationship. At another function I met both wife and this guy. He lied said we never met. Ghosted me. It’s so odd to me that anyone would hide anything from your partner. Especially when your in the lifestyle. Cause the lies cause more damage and are hurtful.
We tried the dating other people on the side thing for a while. It was just a bad idea in the end. Dating couples is safer and at least when you meet a spouse you know it's totally sanctioned. Cheaters and liars give the lifestyle a bad name.
We thought if we just met a couple we would minimize this bit of drama and then we met a couple that was cheating on their spouses with each other and any other couples they could hook up with. We don't do singles unless we know the significant other and we have express permission. It's a great way to eliminate the drama.