Swingers Forum - Yet Another Cheater

SERIOUSLY!?

What in the actual f*ck is up with all of the married dudes on here that are cheating on their wives!?
Gone thru the whole deal of chatting with a dude to set up a time to meet... only to find out (4 days in) that the f*cker is married.
WHAT. THE. F*CK!?

Our question... Is anyone really TRULY okay being with married people cheating on their spouses!?

I feel like Swingular has turned into the new Craig’s List

Agreed. But when they flat out say "you should know that I'm married, and she doesn't know I'm on here" (or something in that vein... It's a pretty solid indicator. 😁

JS223VA wrote:

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for 7+ years. We play together and separately (BOTH of us).

Just because someone is married, does not mean that they are “a cheater”.

massageBBCguy wrote:

This would have been a pretty good topic but I think you ruined it because you didn’t attach a grown up common sense approach. These ALL CAPS! And wtf this and wtf that is very childish. Next time before you come here screaming like you just had the worse experience ever and you are about to shoot yourself,you should go for a walk. Do you know how many women I have had a chat with from here who can’t verify their Hallpass? Somewherentime👌🏿 I repeat your comment. Good lord #pillar-of-morality.

I really believe the guy is single, he is probably just flaking (which is understandable now) and he figured the best way to have you guys leave him alone is to tell you the things he told you... who will say something like that with no intent to sabotage

TWONAUGHTYONES wrote:

massageBBCguy wrote:

This would have been a pretty good topic but I think you ruined it because you didn’t attach a grown up common sense approach. These ALL CAPS! And wtf this and wtf that is very childish. Next time before you come here screaming like you just had the worse experience ever and you are about to shoot yourself,you should go for a walk. Do you know how many women I have had a chat with from here who can’t verify their Hallpass? Somewherentime👌🏿 I repeat your comment. Good lord #pillar-of-morality.

And who are you to tell More4her1096 how to act and what to say? It's their post and their forum topic. Sorry you disapprove, but that's how it goes.

Hey there! Nice profile. I am not that guy. I am yet to figure out a nice way to tell someone I am not interested, I think if he did say “I am married and She doesn’t know I am here” that is genius in my own opinion. I won’t respond to your other comments because I know why you are upset. Lol


Oh- I just noticed you edited your comment. Oh well.

There are people out there who are as comfortable as any swinger, with their spouse having sex with other people, that don't have much interest in sex themselves. The world is full of all sorts of people. If they really are comfortable with it, then they would not mind getting a coffee with the other couple, or single, and having a laugh or two. If just such a person comfortably, and openly told us that he or she was okay with it, we would be okay with it. If there was the right chemistry. Never had that happen. We have had a few people tell us that their spouse is okay with it, but they have a don't ask, don't tell arrangement. That is not something we are in the least interested in pursuing. If they tell us openly they are married and cheating, we appreciate their honesty with us, but their dishonesty with their spouse makes us uncomfortable. Every time this has happened it was the other person making the first approach toward us. So it wasn't a clever brush off. Thoughts on that sort of brush off. Maybe clever but a bit cowardly? Have the courage to be honest in that too! Getting involved would be a mistake. Yes, this person may be in a sexless, maybe loveless marriage. People hurting do some crazy things. It just seems that getting involved sexually with someone in that situation might eventually make matters worse for them, and their spouse, and well us too. If we only have empathy for perfect people we will find we have no empathy at all. Can really classy people say no and still have empathy? Then again even the classy sorts sometimes feel like typing in all caps. The lifestyle has a lot of WTF moments. Who among us hasn't occasionally said WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Don't EVEN get me started on cheaters!









Even mimes cheat. :-(

@twonaughtyones. Lol. Who would think reverse engineering would be required to decipher a simple post? Lol.

We used to get contacted by a lot of stupid single men when we did the Craigslist thing. Now they just send us blind friendship requests on here. At least we're making progress in the right direction. Maybe one day we can banish them from our existence all together.

More4her1096 wrote:

SERIOUSLY!?

What in the actual f*ck is up with all of the married dudes on here that are cheating on their wives!?
Gone thru the whole deal of chatting with a dude to set up a time to meet... only to find out (4 days in) that the f*cker is married.
WHAT. THE. F*CK!?

Our question... Is anyone really TRULY okay being with married people cheating on their spouses!?

And why not out him so the rest of us can avoid the cheater? There are some real scum on here and when we find out we need to sghare. Not your opinion, but the simple actual facts as you KNOW them. There is no reason to fear? Right...

We just had an experience with this as well. We play separately sometimes, and I hooked up with a girl who said she was in an open relationship. She even talked about her husband bringing girls back to their apartment on occasion. I thought everything was on the up-and-up, until I got a call from her husband asking me "why are you sexting my wife" and "have you been fucking my wife". Very awkward conversation.

Worst part is, that apparently they had actually talked about having an open relationship. But she told him she wasn't ready for it. So, to respond to BUBBLES BEER, I guess some people just get off on the cheating factor. I'd still be hooking up with that girl if she was upfront with her husband and allowed him to have fun as well. But instead, she decided to cheat and my wife and I can't support that.

It has been a wake up call to me and the wife, though. In the future we will make sure to verify with the spouse. I guess that's all you can do.

... Wow this post ended up longer than I planned. Lol

Youcumfirst wrote:

I am married but my wife does not share the same fantasies. Am I wrong for wanting to experience some of my fantasies? There is no need to lie we are all adults.

Agreed. And as long as you aren't lying to your wife then there shouldn't be a problem. Simply find a way for interested people to talk to and/or meet with her to confirm that she is okay with you exploring any fantasies that she doesn't share outside of your relationship. Unless, of course, she DOESN'T know and would likely have a big problem with you fucking other people. See how easy it is to not be a cheater? Just do it with the knowledge and/or permission of everyone involved. And yes, your wife is involved even if she isn't aware of what's going on and isn't the one fucking other people.

WYOFUNLUV wrote:

Isn't the reason everyone is here is to have wild different sexual experiences? If a male or female is married and chooses not let that be known then isn't that their business? I agree that if your not comfortable with it then its your right to ask and say no if you find it out. Either way if someone gets caught its not your problem its theirs. I know people on here that play and their spouses do not know many travel and/or dont have great sex at home whether it is due to medication or age or anything else. In the long run I dont think this is as much of a dating site as it is a site of like minded people looking to satisfy adult needs and fantasies. So Have fun and do what your standards and morals let you do. And don't chastise people who dont think like you. Ok I said my two cents. Now lets have some fun.

On a certain level, you're correct. It's nobody else's business. However, one could also use that argument to justify/excuse literally any behavior. What if a guy is abusive to his wife? Is it still nobody else's business since that's between him and her and he's just here to fuck other people? I know that I would want to know about something like that if I was going to be okay on ANY level with him being intimate with my wife. The same goes for a person who is, say, abusive to his kids or kicks his dog and leaves it chained up outside no matter the weather.

I could go on and on about bad behavior that we'd want to know about, if possible, before we decided to invite that person into our relationship because, in a very real sense, that's what a couple is doing when they swing with someone else. That's also why many people don't feel like singles have as much 'skin in the game' (i.e. they aren't RISKING as much) and why many feel like so many single guys just don't 'get it'.

Personally, Ms. Evil and I can't simply separate a person's sex organs from who and what they are as a person. So yeah, we're not really keen on playing with cheaters as that says something important, at least to us, about their character...or lack thereof. But don't worry. There are still people here who it doesn't bother in the least if the person they're fucking is doing so behind the back of someone they made promises and a commitment to. That's MY two cents.

Oh, and when you say "...it's not their problem." well, it actually COULD be their problem. We knew a guy about 10 years ago who ended up in the hospital after a woman's husband (who the guy had been told was aware of and okay with her meeting swingers) caught him in bed with his wife.

real men dont cheat

TWONAUGHTYONES wrote:


You think it's genius to be married and go meet a couple and tell them that you're married but your wife doesn't know you're cheating on her? Wow!

massageBBCguy wrote:

Who would think reverse engineering would be required to decipher a simple post? Lol.

Twonaughty,
He’s not saying that at all.

Dayyuuuummmm

This ones is getting thick. Nothing like a good hot topic on a cool Wednesday.

Cheating = lying = bad.

Playing alone Is not cheating.

Anyone who wants to dabble in this world is going to run across some unsavory shit. You don’t go to a bikers bar and bitch about there being so many bikers. I’m not saying swinging is the same as cheating but let’s face it we’re dealing with extrarelational sex, lines get blurred.

A very pious couple might look at sanctioned swinging and say we’re all fucking nuts. Normal swingers look at a cheater and question hus/her morals. I feel like everyone wants to point their finger down stream and call them assholes.

We’ve run into cheaters too, we roll our eyes and move on. Vent if you need to vent but don’t let the bastards (or bitches) get you down.

Have fun!

Oh, the stories I could tell about married women showing up at parties and their couple sponsors laughing at their cheating stories. Get real peeps. It's just sex. Get over it.

Mav