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Swingers Forum - Why do you swing?

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What got you interested in the lifestyle, keeps you here, and what would you miss the most if you couldn't swing anymore? Has the lifestyle become part of your DNA or could you leave it tomorrow and not look back? Or do you, perhaps, not really consider yourself a swinger, per se, but more of a sexual libertine who embraces any and all sexuality (within your sexual orientation, of course) and looks for and finds it in many different ways and venues?
We don't think monogamy is a realistic concept, so it seems silly to pretend that it is and to spend your entire life resisting instincts that will only lead to disappointment. We believe it's better to give into the fact that we are inherently drawn to fuck people we desire, but it's necessary to define how that works and to set standards and expectations within the relationship.

Moving to this defective state has forced us to realize what life without swinging would be like. We miss it, but we can certainly live without it, even though we'd prefer not to.
FIT_N_FUN wrote:

We don't think monogamy is a realistic concept, so it seems silly to pretend that it is and to spend your entire life resisting instincts that will only lead to disappointment. We believe it's better to give into the fact that we are inherently drawn to fuck people we desire, but it's necessary to define how that works and to set standards and expectations within the relationship.

Moving to this defective state has forced us to realize what life without swinging would be like. We miss it, but we can certainly live without it, even though we'd prefer not to.


Utah isn't defective! Okay, maybe it's a LITTLE bit defective. LOL But that just means there are more people here who want to be very naughty as a way to give the middle finger to the prevailing culture.
Great subject.
We got into the LS to find like minded friends.
Just like the other posts. Yes sex is a great release and fooling yourself about staying monotonous is the most unrealistic thing.
We wanted good friends who enjoyed the same things as we do.
The people we have met have been amazing.
Actually beyond amazing.
We have had some of the best friendships two people could ever expect.
If you are just looking for sex that can be found.
If your looking for friends this LS has introduced us to some very amazing people.
Just think you can go golfing or to dinner and then end up with a amazing time with a girlfriend or boyfriend.
Then go home and have the most amazing sex with your partner.
The Ls has been very good to us and we look towards making new friends and hopefully enjoying some old friends.
Bonus we have even made friends in the LS with out having sex.
Yes if you open your horizons you can meet some wonderful friends.
The people in the LS are not strange or crazy they are realistic about life.
That’s why we have found the best and most honest friends
I got into it because i was afraid if i didn't my husband (now ex) would cheat. Little did i know that i would end up loving it not than he did lol. After we divorced i stayed in the lifestyle and have meet some of the best friends i could ever ask for. There are many reasons i enjoy the lifestyle. The friendships, the openness, for the most part non judgment and being able to feel good in my own skin. I love feeling sexy and i agree with everyone that monogamy is not practical. I believe more people would stay faithful if they would be honest with themselves and their partners about their wants and desires. Could i live with out it...yes. Do i want to no.
Agree with most of what you said Double K. With my ex it started with pillow talk after dating a while and then when married. At the beginning I asked are you sure you want to know, he was all yes. I actually enjoyed as well being able to relive them. Had experiences well before we met. For me it was never an issue I really enjoyed them. All of them were with friends and just were organic. The one thing I never shared who they were with, because almost all were still a part of my life. I figured if I told him it was him or her or even a couple he would start to try and compare himself to and jealousy would start creeping in, which had never been my experience this far in my life.
When first married we were in Miami, he had never gone to strip clubs with any woman before. Had told him I had been to the swing clubs as well. Not all but some, quite a few in the Miami area. Beaches like Haulover as well. We talked about going to Trapeze for months in bed. Had told him let’s go the first time we talked about it, he wasn’t ready, some of his questions seemed so bizarre, I told him we can leave at anytime, you’re allowed to leave at anytime, what happens if someone wants to have sex and I don’t want to?? I told him I don’t think you have to worry about that, lol. Finally went to their Halloween Party, dressed up, he asked me where I got that outfit, told him I had worn it to Trapeze earlier, that one stunned him a bit. Had never seen someone so nervous, told him we don’t have to go, but in we went. We got in and just in the bar area and several people said hello to me and asked me where I had been, a couple gfs leaned in for a kiss, he started putting names to my experiences and it turned into more a quiz show then going to trapeze, is that the one you did that with and so on, I could see him trying to stand taller next to the men that said hello or men of couples. Sure enough what I feared was coming true, jealousy. While I didn’t tell him I did that with them, he kept asking and guessing. We finally managed walking a bit farther than the bar, large pit area where some people were, mostly just kissing and watching, of course I got the question, have you been with any of them, talking about ten or so people. It became clear that my ex didn’t have the mind for swinging. One of my turn offs while having sex is a question guy, does that feel good, what do you like, what position, one of my turn ons is the confident guy. Who understands if he likes something or one of his partners enjoyed, most likely I will too and he has no need to be the question guy. The ex turned from the confident guy into the question guy that night.
Not too long after we moved to Orlando where his family was and where we he could join the family business. That is when he actually signed us up on here. We met several couples and it didn’t get better. After living in Miami Beach, going to South Beach and the beaches and nightlife and everything Miami has to offer, Orlando is a dead space with Micky Mouse ears, blah. Just my opinion.
We ended up not lasting a year. No kids, was easy peasy and I couldn’t get back to Miami fast enough. Been having a blast since, a couple of years ago went back to Trapeze Halloween party in that same outfit and the results of the night were quite different than with the ex.
DEEPMOAN- We're moving back to Florida in about a month and we can't wait to be back. The LS scene in Utah is so ridiculously stunted compared to Florida.
My wife loves talking dirty about being with other partners. So this LS gives her plenty of fuel for her imagination. 😁
I understand your wife’s mind completely. Like I said I loved reliving my experiences with my now ex. He went crazy hearing my experiences almost as much as I did.
We got involved because we wanted to more fully explore, express and share our sexuality together and with other people looking for the same sort of sexual freedom and expression.

Evil you ask could we leave it? We suspect that the day may come that we will have just sort of stopped without actually having made a decision to stop. We are swinging much less frequently than we did a few years back. We have offers to hook up all the time, but other things in our lives come first. The direction our lives are headed, it would seem that at the point we are either too old to be interested, or too old to be interesting, that rather than finding a void in our lives, we will just be very much actively engaged in all the wonder and joy available to us at that time of life. We are not yet at that point in our journey! We are still interested in getting together with friends we already have and in meeting some exciting new lovers too! It's just a bit harder to find the time these days.
For us, it was all about sexual exploration and freedom from judgement. It has had some challenges over the years and we nearly dropped out, but our desires and experimentative sides always seem to win. We just love the variety and how hot it is to see your lover being pleased.
It's about watching each other engage in something so sensual and intensly erotic. Hearing each other moan, watching each other be pleasured....we LOVE it.
Short version....Started out as trying to find a girl for the mrs (and still currently looking). Now its just a turn on for the both of us to see each other with someone else.