Swingers Forum - Exclusive FWB???

Just wanted to put this out there and see if we get any responses. We're a fun, attractive, sarcastic and easy going married couple looking for the same... to be exclusive with. We've dated 3 couples in the past and have had a blast! We're looking for a couple close to our age and possibly close to where we live to be "friends with benefits" with, exclusively. Is there anyone else out there looking for the same thing???

Poly couple located in Murray. We'd like to have some regular basis fwb

FIRSTTIME1 wrote:

I think it’s somewhat common to want an exclusive couple with benefits but it’s been our experience that it’s been much easier finding a single that fits our desires and needs!!! For us finding 4 people that’s attracted to each other has been a challenge ! Wish you well and good luck !

And there goes the overwhelming opinion of the majority and I do not dissent 👌🏿

HERWOODY801 wrote:

Ditto to all the above 👆🏻... the exclusive FWB is as rare as a unicorn. If you find one hold on to it!!! We’re still searching, hoping to find it one day!

But also, Why do you have me as your profile picture? You need to take it down... That is really disrespectful and deceiving! Please remove this or be reported!

HERWOODY801, I realize we all want to be and look like SHADOWING WHISPERS.... She's a fucking bombshell and one of my best friends! Hopefully a lesson had been learned here that you don't hi-jack someone's profile picture! Please use your own pics or be reported!
Mrs. SRO

wewant2play2 wrote:

We are a nice, clean, couple looking for the same. Why is this so hard to find?

Because you live all the way up in Ogden lol

What does exclusive mean to you? Are you trying to find a poly couple?

We agree, having an exclusive couple we play with and date is the best. We had some good friends and neighbors we did this with for about a year. We traveled together, watched kids sports games together but unfortunately it ended abruptly about 2 years ago. We still see them around but they won’t even be cordial toward us. It is something we’d like to find again but we are cautious because of our last experience.

Too funny! You can actually tell who cropped out what from the original photo.

We love this idea, and have had the same problems trying to make it work. Honestly, our dream is to get 3-4 couples that we all meet on a regular basis, but are exclusive to each other.

The numbers lead to all kinds of kinks, and if we were exclusive addresses a lot of concerns with STDs, etc.

So far I would say good luck with that, as finding 1 couple is hard enough. But we love this idea!!

Hit us up. We're looking!!

We are a couple. It won't let us change our status without getting a whole new account. PM us?

Glad you got it sorted out. It's bullshit that someone would jack your photo.

Don’t you think it’s like having another person or couple you answer to ? I personally am just a swinger not looking forward to exclusive relationships with other couples at this time to much drama . My two cents

I am sorry I have to ask, when you guys say “exclusive” what do you mean? Is there a binding contract with clear Terms, Conditions, Rules and Regulations, Clauses, penalties for a breach? Is the friendship/relationship defined? Who starts the conversation? It’s not something I have to worry about but I am definitely interested not in Exclusive FWB but what it means

SAMEROOMONLY wrote:

To me, exclusive means you sleep with only that couple or person/persons. The practical benefit is that the risk of disease is greatly reduced. No need for condoms if everyone is only sleeping with each other and pregnancy isn't a risk. Of course there are other benefits to some like having a secure couple who gives you that extra something you are looking for and not having to waste time searching for couples you both enjoy. We have a ton of great friends, none of whom we are exclusive with. It certainly works for some but we have seen it end badly many times, as BrandAsh21 experienced. It seems you would basically have to break up with the couple to get out of the relationship. I've seen it ruin many a friendship. Might be beneficial to put a time limit on it, say 6 months, after which time you part ways regardless of how well it is going. So for us, since we can establish the same, or similar, emotional relationship with people without being exclusive, we don't do it. But yes, for some, the condom thing just isn't for them. Or maybe they still use condoms in some exclusive relationships though I wouldn't see why. Not sure if that is what exclusive means to everyone, but I'm pretty sure that is what exclusive means.

. Interesting.. so there’s always a chance “Exclusive FWB” may have different meaning to all the parties involved?

Being exclusive has its challenges but can be very rewarding too. We've done it and really enjoyed it. We learned a lot about ourselves along the way which kinda lifted us to a new level of understanding. This lifestyle is amazing...whether you try being exclusive or having several close friends/couples you gotta put yourself out there and you'll get out of it what you out into it.

Yup That is what I see also?

We are looking for a couple that we can be friends with and hang out with. We have become kinda poly since this is so hard to find where all 4 hit it off. I see we are not the only ones that want this, so how do we go about meeting each other. A low pressure meet and greet and if things work out, awesome.

I think it's reasonable to exercise caution in a situation like this. You'd be fooling yourself if you didn't think there was a risk of growing feelings. It can happen and has happened with us in the past. Communication was absolutely important though and making sure your spouse always comes first is crucial. It does take a rock solid marriage though. It's not for everyone. I'm not advocating that everyone should try it. Heck, I think a lot of what people do in this lifestyle is not for everyone. For us it's been a growing experience in general. It's opened up the lines of communication and understanding.it also came with it's fair share of struggles and landmines to avoid. It can be a really great experience if you have a rock solid marriage. For those who don't, it really can make things worse.

So what’s the BRIGHT-LINE between a Rock Solid Relationship and a Fluid Relationship? 🤔. I Really haven’t seen someone say their relationship isn’t rock-solid. Is it rock solid until it’s no longer rock solid?

Bright-Line, is a legal term that can be used to clearly define when something crosses the threshold from legal to illegal. Or maybe determine ownership, or accountability. Perhaps, it really isn't applicable, or appropriate to clarify human relationships. Once two bodies of water merge, and begin to flow in the same direction, they are never really separable. Flowing water can breakdown most anything. Rock solid is just a metaphor. It's not literal. All relationships flow. If the people involved in a relationship maintain strong divisional boundaries they can more easily divide and take different directions in their flow. If they trust and love enough to really want to merge and flow together, where the boundaries seem to have been redefined as if they are now directionally one, then maybe a river is a better metaphor than a rock.

"Give said the little stream", and the river flowing is unafraid to let it's waters join in. Evil, I am happy to report I have always been able to say, no that is not a pistol in my pocket!

Lord we should have never left home. Wish we were closer

I am feeling the need to correct my stance on Exclusive FWB.. after some re-match I feel like I am getting close to exclusive.. but I am not even sure if this is what exclusive means.. it’s MFM situation but if it’s a single female then what is it? A girlfriend? Did we just become a couple? Those are the questions playing in my head.. if you’ve been in a similar situation before, you can send me PM letting me know I am heading SB on NB Lane.

We are definitely interested! And close by!

We haven't found an awesome couple we click with in a while

Extremely hot wish you where closer

We want an exclusive couple as well. Its safer and we can explore more!

Two to four couples exclusively dating is our lifestyle unicorn. Finding one couple who is interested AND no one feels like they are taking one for the team in any way seems challenging enough. This phenomenon seems to promote playing separately, in which we have no interest..., but as some veterans in the lifestyle say, “... yet. Give it time. Things change.”

SwingNHit wrote:

Just as an observation, it seems to us that many (if not most) couples on this site are looking for exclusive friends with benefits. To us, that sounds like polyamorous dating, not swinging. No judgment whatsoever, hopefully everyone finds what they are looking for. We are simply surprised at how few couples actually want to swing - that is, have sex with lots of different couples. (Please spare the "labels" comments.) Again, no judgment, but I guess we are "swingers." Oh God, we finally said it! Hahaha! Everyone, we hope you each get what you are looking for!

Every couple is different. Every couple is different. Some want just sex, Some want more.there's nothing wrong with that. Whatever makes you happy

I’m single

Not sure why we needed to know that.

SwingNHit wrote:

Just as an observation, it seems to us that many (if not most) couples on this site are looking for exclusive friends with benefits. To us, that sounds like polyamorous dating, not swinging. No judgment whatsoever, hopefully everyone finds what they are looking for. We are simply surprised at how few couples actually want to swing - that is, have sex with lots of different couples. (Please spare the "labels" comments.) Again, no judgment, but I guess we are "swingers." Oh God, we finally said it! Hahaha! Everyone, we hope you each get what you are looking for!

Well said. It is difficult to find good matches. Let alone four perfect ones. Often we are presently surprised when we meet new friends that we were skeptical about at first. In talking with others, the term exclusive seems to be a hurdle to jump as most want to be free to do who, what and went they want.

TOTALLY4FUN wrote:

We've thought about this at great length. We totally understand the upside, but can see the negative as well. We had some friends who all four had this type of relationship. They spent so much time together that they all were in love, that's the way that it was said to us, direcly from them.
Sadly, it all ended in divorce, but two of them are now together, a former spouse from each relationship. In our opinion, they spent waaay too much time together and the relationship grew, at least with two of them...obviously.
If exclusive dating is going to work, then it really should be limited with the amount of time spent. As mentioned, there are a lot of advantages to having an exclusive couple, but the temptation to constantly spend time with them will be very appealing, especially if they live or work close by, like our friends experienced.

I couldn't agree more with this!

Candyrocks69 wrote:

EVILDOERS wrote:

[quote=TOTALLY4FUN]We've thought about this at great length. We totally understand the upside, but can see the negative as well. We had some friends who all four had this type of relationship. They spent so much time together that they all were in love, that's the way that it was said to us, direcly from them.
Sadly, it all ended in divorce, but two of them are now together, a former spouse from each relationship. In our opinion, they spent waaay too much time together and the relationship grew, at least with two of them...obviously.
If exclusive dating is going to work, then it really should be limited with the amount of time spent. As mentioned, there are a lot of advantages to having an exclusive couple, but the temptation to constantly spend time with them will be very appealing, especially if they live or work close by, like our friends experienced.

Sadly, not an isolated incident. We've seen it happen a number of times. Exclusivity can definitely lead to unintended results, especially if or when there begins to be separate activities with non-primary partners.

Every couple is different. We've had some success in the past and it's not an issue for us. I can understand how this wouldn't be ideal for a lot of couples, but it works for some. No offense to those who just want the hookup.[/quote]



Don't get me wrong. We are ALL about close friendships and have NEVER sought out or enjoyed the casual hookups that some people prefer. But we've also had personal experience being exclusive with another couple and have observed many other couples over the years who have crashed and burned with that particular arrangement. It's the term "exclusive" that gives us pause more than anything else in this thread because we've seen first hand the many potential pitfalls that can undermine even the strongest relationships. But as always, YMMV

Ms. Evil and I once counted up exactly how many couples we've known over the years in the lifestyle who've divorced over thinking the grass was greener in someone else's pasture and it was north of two dozen couples who actually left their primary partner for another swing partner.

Candyrocks69 wrote:

EVILDOERS wrote:

[quote=Candyrocks69][quote=EVILDOERS][quote=TOTALLY4FUN]We've thought about this at great length. We totally understand the upside, but can see the negative as well. We had some friends who all four had this type of relationship. They spent so much time together that they all were in love, that's the way that it was said to us, direcly from them.
Sadly, it all ended in divorce, but two of them are now together, a former spouse from each relationship. In our opinion, they spent waaay too much time together and the relationship grew, at least with two of them...obviously.
If exclusive dating is going to work, then it really should be limited with the amount of time spent. As mentioned, there are a lot of advantages to having an exclusive couple, but the temptation to constantly spend time with them will be very appealing, especially if they live or work close by, like our friends experienced.

EVILDOERS wrote:

Sadly, not an isolated incident. We've seen it happen a number of times. Exclusivity can definitely lead to unintended results, especially if or when there begins to be separate activities with non-primary partners.

Every couple is different. We've had some success in the past and it's not an issue for us. I can understand how this wouldn't be ideal for a lot of couples, but it works for some. No offense to those who just want the hookup.

Don't get me wrong. We are ALL about close friendships and have NEVER sought out or enjoyed the casual hookups that some people prefer. But we've also had personal experience being exclusive with another couple and have observed many other couples over the years who have crashed and burned with that particular arrangement. It's the term "exclusive" that gives us pause more than anything else in this thread because we've seen first hand the many potential pitfalls that can undermine even the strongest relationships. But as always, YMMV
Ms. Evil and I once counted up exactly how many couples we've known over the years in the lifestyle who've divorced over thinking the grass was greener in someone else's pasture and it was north of two dozen couples who actually left their primary partner for another swing partner. [/quote]
Every couple gets into this for different reasons. It can definitely be a test of your marriage if you're not on the same page. Having good intentions to begin with doesn't hurt. Certainly not using the lifestyle to replace your spouse or get back at them is going to cause problems. Some couples are not cut out for opening things up.[/quote]

Very true. But, unfortunately, you can't control what the other individual or couple does or what THEIR true intentions are. Sadly, there are some people in the lifestyle who, at best, like to fuck (and not in a good way) with other people's relationships and, at worst, are happy to destroy them. Ask us how we know!

And human nature being what it is it's not always that easy to stay "on the same page" or to survive a "test of your marriage". A new exciting relationship with someone that you don't have to talk to about paying the bills or problems with family or the kids or any one of the million other little problems of everyday life it's hard not to see that as the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. Even if it's just an illusion. Not trying to be Debbie Downers here. Just trying to point out some very real potential pitfalls with exclusivity. YMMV

Candyrocks69 wrote:

Every couple had their preference. Ours is dating a couple exclusively. It's just better and less drama in our experience.

You desire to date only one couple. Would you be ok if that one couple you are dating had dates with other couples too?

To us it seems that for Candyrocks69, part of the reason, this is what they are looking for, is that they have kids at home, and dating another couple, lets them both enjoy a secondary lover while their other half attends to the kids. It's less complicated if they are dating another couple, because they all share the experience together even though all four of them never share the same bedroom. We all lives outside of the lifestyle. Plus, having dome this a few times in the past, successfully, they know it can happen again.

We’re actually closer to doing something like this than we have ever been before. It sure seems like a safer alternative, especially in the current environment. 😷Having said that, it’s been so long since we’ve been with another couple...we feel like newbies all over again. 😉

Good luck to everyone! 👍🏻

Looking for the same, but not sure how to start....

Candyrocks69 wrote:

Just wanted to put this out there and see if we get any responses. We're a fun, attractive, sarcastic and easy going married couple looking for the same... to be exclusive with. We've dated 3 couples in the past and have had a blast! We're looking for a couple close to our age and possibly close to where we live to be "friends with benefits" with, exclusively. Is there anyone else out there looking for the same thing???

we have too much fun dating different couples and hosting little parties. We are polys with a girl in Spain but we are not returning there until 2022 and not sure what would we decide as a triad. So, we are being bad now lol

@Candyrocks69,
You desire to date only one couple. Would you be ok if that one couple that you are dating had very occasional dates with other couples too?

It is interesting to see everyone’s thoughts and perspectives on this topic. We have been around the lifestyle for many years but just started playing a couple years ago. We have seen many variations amongst friends and couples.

We believe our optimal would be to have a close group of friends we enjoy being with and they also enjoy being with other friends in the group. We would enjoy being able to have vanilla experiences with the group as well as sexual experiences.

We would not expect everyone to be exclusive nor require that by any means. But, if the group is close enough I think outside experiences would be less.

And let’s face it, one of the goals of a regular group of friends is it reduces the risk of infections and disease - COVID or otherwise. And, to have more group experiences! 😈😈 orgy anyone?

As far as polyamory goes, we had a couple we were friends with and they wanted to go down that path. Unfortunately, we did not and it ended up in a very awkward situation. We are in the lifestyle because we enjoy people who are like-minded, enjoy being sexy, nude and having sex with others.

We have lifestyle friends that are nothing other than friends. It’s great to talk with them because we are like-minded and the subject matter is fun and stimulating. We have friends that we really enjoy both in and out of the bedroom. None of them are exclusive.

THREESOME2 wrote:

Had that for a couple of years, began falling apart when the other woman began telling me she loved me, then found out that they were actually very promiscuous and not being upfront about it.

yeah it's a deal breaker when people lie or it causes a problem with your relationship. Feelings are fine but your significant other should come first.

Very sexy and hot. Message us as we would enjoy a sexy couple long term. Xo

we had been in the lifestyle for about 4 years when we met a couple whom we really got along with and after much discussion became a poly relationship. We went on vacations together, ate and slept with each other....it was like I had two wives and my wife had two husbands. It was really incredible. Eventually, the other woman started having issues with her husband that had nothing to do with us...just the typical...he is always working and neglecting their relationship...it got so bad that she decided she no longer wanted to be with us as a lover...(he was no longer having sex with her or really anything as he wasn't really around)...she told us she no longer enjoyed sex and that was it...the ending of our relationship...though we continued to be friends. We were in that relationship for 5 years and loved it and each other....they have since divorced...and we still have contact with both...but it was so amazing and fun while it lasted....if you find that special couple...grab them...and enjoy the ride while it lasts...