Hi everyone!
Recently we've had a few interactions with members that ultimately seemed to be "fake" profiles, and quite a few blind friend requests.
Let's talk about the profiles we believe are fake first.. One unicorn that we were messaging for several days, and even trading (tasteful) pics with wanted to meet for dinner last week. We messaged several times the day prior, and even the day of to confirm the meeting place. We arrived and waited an hour before seeing it for what it was. And have heard nothing since. This has happened twice in two weeks!!!
Now it's the blind friend requests.. Gold members with new profiles, and even some platinum members who have been on the site for 3+ years send blind friend requests. Is this the norm?? It clearly states on our profile that we won't reply to blind requests, and especially if you're not verified as "real".
It's a serious turn-off if you don't even take 2 minutes to read our profile and introduce yourself properly.
FYI... We won't even consider fucking you if you don't even know how to introduce yourselves first!!
What's your experience with this, and what have you done to minimize this from happening?
Recently we've had a few interactions with members that ultimately seemed to be "fake" profiles, and quite a few blind friend requests.
Let's talk about the profiles we believe are fake first.. One unicorn that we were messaging for several days, and even trading (tasteful) pics with wanted to meet for dinner last week. We messaged several times the day prior, and even the day of to confirm the meeting place. We arrived and waited an hour before seeing it for what it was. And have heard nothing since. This has happened twice in two weeks!!!
Now it's the blind friend requests.. Gold members with new profiles, and even some platinum members who have been on the site for 3+ years send blind friend requests. Is this the norm?? It clearly states on our profile that we won't reply to blind requests, and especially if you're not verified as "real".
It's a serious turn-off if you don't even take 2 minutes to read our profile and introduce yourself properly.
FYI... We won't even consider fucking you if you don't even know how to introduce yourselves first!!
What's your experience with this, and what have you done to minimize this from happening?
We have seen a lot of this same thing. A few blind requests but mostly there seem to be a lot of fake profiles out there. Either Bots, Single males posing as couples, or worse yet, posing as single females and even just the "pic fishers" as we like to call them. (People who want to friend you just to see your private pics). We have been guilty of "pic fishing" from time to time, but thats mostly because the public pics aren't that good and we want to get a better idea of what the couple looks like. Its important to us that both members look good to us, we don't feel like either one of us should "take one for the team". The biggest issue to us on this is the fake profiles. We do wish there was a better way to weed those out, we would really like to take people and there profiles for face value.
We get the same. Tons of blind request, lots of requests from profiles with no pics and a lot of profiles that only have pics of one half of the couple. Some peoples approaches are much more creative than others, that’s for sure!
I think we all get the blind friend requests, and there's not a lot you can do to prevent it. We've mentioned in our profile to send a message with any friend request, and most don't. We've also mentioned a couple times we aren't interested in single males, but we still get those emails and random dick pics. We've come to the conclusion it's just something you have to deal with in this lifestyle.
There are some things that's helped us weed out fake profiles and from being stood up. We tend to take our time getting to know people before we ever agree to meet. That alone seems to weed out those that are either fake or wouldn't be a good match. Most of those people are impatient and want pics immediately or to meet quickly and that's a big red flag for us. If the conversation doesn't flow and they can't answer simple questions you ask, or repeat the same questions and get pushy about anything, that's a red flag. If someone on the site is a paying member and hasn't been verified after a year or longer, that's a red flag for us. We don't respond to those that are just on a trial membership or in bronze status. That shows us they aren't that serious about it. If we do accept a friend request and there aren't clear pics of both people, we'll delete the friendship immediately. That's usually a red flag.
Really you just have to do your due diligence and trust your instincts. If it sounds to good to be true or seems to perfect, it probably isn't real.
There are some things that's helped us weed out fake profiles and from being stood up. We tend to take our time getting to know people before we ever agree to meet. That alone seems to weed out those that are either fake or wouldn't be a good match. Most of those people are impatient and want pics immediately or to meet quickly and that's a big red flag for us. If the conversation doesn't flow and they can't answer simple questions you ask, or repeat the same questions and get pushy about anything, that's a red flag. If someone on the site is a paying member and hasn't been verified after a year or longer, that's a red flag for us. We don't respond to those that are just on a trial membership or in bronze status. That shows us they aren't that serious about it. If we do accept a friend request and there aren't clear pics of both people, we'll delete the friendship immediately. That's usually a red flag.
Really you just have to do your due diligence and trust your instincts. If it sounds to good to be true or seems to perfect, it probably isn't real.
Very interesting topic. I’ve often wondered if we have any red flags that turn people off, or make us appear to be fake. We’re in the process of getting verified but it is taking a minute and I know that is a red flag for many but I wondered about our pics and such.
Also, the lady doesn’t like to participate in the vetting process until she’s pretty sure we’re going to meet. And she doesn’t like face pics on the profile (needs discretion) but we send faces if we’re comfortable privately. I’ve run into a few instances where that has made people skeptical.
Anyone else have experience with this or have pointers for making people less edgy?
Also, the lady doesn’t like to participate in the vetting process until she’s pretty sure we’re going to meet. And she doesn’t like face pics on the profile (needs discretion) but we send faces if we’re comfortable privately. I’ve run into a few instances where that has made people skeptical.
Anyone else have experience with this or have pointers for making people less edgy?
Ucouple wrote:
Very interesting topic. I’ve often wondered if we have any red flags that turn people off, or make us appear to be fake. We’re in the process of getting verified but it is taking a minute and I know that is a red flag for many but I wondered about our pics and such.
Also, the lady doesn’t like to participate in the vetting process until she’s pretty sure we’re going to meet. And she doesn’t like face pics on the profile (needs discretion) but we send faces if we’re comfortable privately. I’ve run into a few instances where that has made people skeptical.
Anyone else have experience with this or have pointers for making people less edgy?
We are the same with the vetting process. She doesn't like to be involved until I think we might get along really well with someone. Then she'll participate and have the final say, so I get that.
From our perspective, the best way to handle not having face pics in your profile would be to be up front with someone right off the bat and let them know that and maybe why. I would also say don't friend request right away, but maybe chat for a bit to get to know them first.
Getting verified will go a long way to helping the no face pics thing too. We tend to be ok with some that have the VIP status but maybe not face pics of both. The VIP means an Admin or Local Party Host verified you in person, so we tend to believe that you are real and are serious about the lifestyle at that point. A person that has the VIP status can verify someone but they only get the REAL badge. That helps, but that process could easily be manipulated and abused, so we are a little more cautious with that. Hope this helps.
Sure does, thanks!
Interesting how many people expect everyone else to re-type what is most likely already in their description (in most cases) just because they're sending a friend request.
How about looking at the profiles you get friend requests from and deciding if you want to be friends with that person/people?
Where did this expectation for everyone to do all this copy/pasting come from?
Why not just read what's already written on the person/s profile and go from there?
It's pretty easy to decide whether you're interested or not in a profile with a quick glance-and-read before you accept the friend request. Nothing in the profile? Wow the decision just became even easier.
Or wait... wait... I think we get it now. Everyone just go ahead and message us introducing yourselves so we can pass our judgement from the comfort of our inbox. We're too scared for any other type of interaction online. Thanks in advance for doing things OUR way on this website we have no stake in so we don't have to complain later.
How about looking at the profiles you get friend requests from and deciding if you want to be friends with that person/people?
Where did this expectation for everyone to do all this copy/pasting come from?
Why not just read what's already written on the person/s profile and go from there?
It's pretty easy to decide whether you're interested or not in a profile with a quick glance-and-read before you accept the friend request. Nothing in the profile? Wow the decision just became even easier.
Or wait... wait... I think we get it now. Everyone just go ahead and message us introducing yourselves so we can pass our judgement from the comfort of our inbox. We're too scared for any other type of interaction online. Thanks in advance for doing things OUR way on this website we have no stake in so we don't have to complain later.
Interesting topic as we too were stood up for the very first time over the weekend. We have been around awhile and thought we had all the signs figured out about fakes & flakes. Guess not. In general this site is showing the signs of neglect. It never was a great site but many of us put up with the frustrations because of the number of locals we can find to meet here. We don't look here as much as we used too because the features such as chat are not reliable anymore. Our little extra input. With KIK, private groups and other options with social networking there are more alternatives.
There's a lot of wannabes and actors out there ! Common sense always helps If they only have one photo or no photos . Not to mention not much to describe themselves or what they're looking for Don't accept !
OgdenFunCpl wrote:
Interesting how many people expect everyone else to re-type what is most likely already in their description (in most cases) just because they're sending a friend request.
How about looking at the profiles you get friend requests from and deciding if you want to be friends with that person/people?
Where did this expectation for everyone to do all this copy/pasting come from?
Why not just read what's already written on the person/s profile and go from there?
It's pretty easy to decide whether you're interested or not in a profile with a quick glance-and-read before you accept the friend request. Nothing in the profile? Wow the decision just became even easier.
Or wait... wait... I think we get it now. Everyone just go ahead and message us introducing yourselves so we can pass our judgement from the comfort of our inbox. We're too scared for any other type of interaction online. Thanks in advance for doing things OUR way on this website we have no stake in so we don't have to complain later.
I'm not sure what you are trying to say here..? You reach out to others with a friend request and they are supposed to confirm or deny bases solely on what you say on your profile? A silhouette and blurred face pic really don't make for the best first impression, especially if it seems clear that you didn't take the time to read our profile, which includes a simple request that you send a message with a photo and proper introduction with the friend request.
We've made decisions based on what you stated above, only to find out that the person(s) were not in fact who they said they were. That's the reason this thread was started.
This isn't facebook, it's sharing our time, and potentially our home and bodies with you should we decide to play. If taking 2 minutes to say "Hi" first is too much of an inconvenience for you, then we definitely won't be playing any time soon.
Best of luck!
COUPLEINEDEN wrote:OgdenFunCpl wrote:
Interesting how many people expect everyone else to re-type what is most likely already in their description (in most cases) just because they're sending a friend request.
How about looking at the profiles you get friend requests from and deciding if you want to be friends with that person/people?
Where did this expectation for everyone to do all this copy/pasting come from?
Why not just read what's already written on the person/s profile and go from there?
It's pretty easy to decide whether you're interested or not in a profile with a quick glance-and-read before you accept the friend request. Nothing in the profile? Wow the decision just became even easier.
Or wait... wait... I think we get it now. Everyone just go ahead and message us introducing yourselves so we can pass our judgement from the comfort of our inbox. We're too scared for any other type of interaction online. Thanks in advance for doing things OUR way on this website we have no stake in so we don't have to complain later.
I'm not sure what you are trying to say here..? You reach out to others with a friend request and they are supposed to confirm or deny bases solely on what you say on your profile? A silhouette and blurred face pic really don't make for the best first impression, especially if it seems clear that you didn't take the time to read our profile, which includes a simple request that you send a message with a photo and proper introduction with the friend request.
We've made decisions based on what you stated above, only to find out that the person(s) were not in fact who they said they were. That's the reason this thread was started.
This isn't facebook, it's sharing our time, and potentially our home and bodies with you should we decide to play. If taking 2 minutes to say "Hi" first is too much of an inconvenience for you, then we definitely won't be playing any time soon.
Best of luck!
Hi I didn't ask to play with you but thanks for the offer. Pass. Sorry my message was over your head better luck next time.
For the people in the back or who perhaps didn't understand: THERE'S A SECTION IN YOUR PROFILE WHERE YOU CAN INTRODUCE YOURSELF. Use it wisely.
We get the same things. Blind friend requests that we assume they just want to see our pictures... if people took the time to actually read profiles they'd get somewhere. We always respond to blind friend requests with a message. If there is no response to the message we deny the request. If people don’t take the few seconds to read our profile or even say “hi” with their friend request we take it as they don’t care to get to know us. We want to know we have something in common. We don’t have a problem meeting in person early on. You get to see what people actually look like and can get a good sense of if things can go to another level. It’s also a quick way to weed out the fakes. Sure you get stood up or there’s no connection but you take the bad with the good. But this is just how we do things. I think people judge first off looks to see if they even want to take things any further... maybe that’s why blind friend requests are so common? Looks are top on the list....
Just our opinion though!
Just our opinion though!
We have experienced that a lot... that's why we don't "kik". We meet. Wasted energy and time for flakes/fakes. But we are still new to the site so learning as well.
As far as flakes go I guess we just try to weed through them. We definitely don't respond to profiles with no pics. And we're hesitant to respond to profiles with only one pic or just pics of the lady half. It's crazy how many couples profiles have only the lady pics on them. My wife would love to see what the male half looks like too. Unless he isn't interested in playing I guess.
Any way on to the blind friend requests. We have found that we initially look at profiles and want to see what the couple looks like...both halves. If their public pics are limited or missing but we liked what we read we might send a blind request to see their private pics. From there if we feel like there is a potential attraction then we might send a message as well. Just depends if we have time to write a message at the time of the request.
Seems complicated? It's what has worked for us I guess. Everyone has their reasons for sending requests. We used to over think it but eventually decided if someone requests the friendship to look at our pics so be it. Hopefully they'll like what they see and connect with us eventually. Plus we're careful about not putting face pics on our profile but will share them via text or kik with the right couples. I can imagine those couples that do put face pics in their private albums may be more cautious about who the accept requests from ...and we don't blame them there.
Any way on to the blind friend requests. We have found that we initially look at profiles and want to see what the couple looks like...both halves. If their public pics are limited or missing but we liked what we read we might send a blind request to see their private pics. From there if we feel like there is a potential attraction then we might send a message as well. Just depends if we have time to write a message at the time of the request.
Seems complicated? It's what has worked for us I guess. Everyone has their reasons for sending requests. We used to over think it but eventually decided if someone requests the friendship to look at our pics so be it. Hopefully they'll like what they see and connect with us eventually. Plus we're careful about not putting face pics on our profile but will share them via text or kik with the right couples. I can imagine those couples that do put face pics in their private albums may be more cautious about who the accept requests from ...and we don't blame them there.
Ogdenfuncpl, sounds like you don't want to take the time to read a profile, but you want others to read your profile after you lazily send a friends request to them... I guess you just want others to feel privileged that you even sent them a friends request... And after you grace yourself with a freinds request, and the other party humbly accepts it, do you then expect them to message you back first to see about getting together? Seems like you leave all the work to the other party, expect for lazily pushing the freinds request button.... 👏👏👏
SHENANIGANIZER wrote:
Ogdenfuncpl, sounds like you don't want to take the time to read a profile, but you want others to read your profile after you lazily send a friends request to them... I guess you just want others to feel privileged that you even sent them a friends request... And after you grace yourself with a freinds request, and the other party humbly accepts it, do you then expect them to message you back first to see about getting together? Seems like you leave all the work to the other party, expect for lazily pushing the freinds request button.... 👏👏👏
I like this response. Totally misses the point. We're reading profiles. We're sending requests.
It's hilarious how all the people who can't be bothered to read the profile of someone who sends them a request are all complaining that people are "too lazy to read profiles". Hilarious. I about died laughing when you talked about OUR expectations.
"Leave all the work to the other party". What a crock. If I've already read your profile, then sent a request, I've done more work than you have. You can't meet half way and also read our profile? That's fine. Keep on keeping on. Good luck out there.
Take another look at expectations (yours more than ours) before you hop up on that soap box tho.
We kind of like to reserve our friend's list and private photos, for people that live in the area, and with which we feel we might develop a special connection. We may or may not accept a blind friend request. It depends on who is asking, the mood we are in, and maybe even what we had for lunch.
If someone sends us a request, blind, or otherwise, at least one of us usually reads their profile. At least one of us usually sends a response. We are sure we have missed doing that occasionally, but more often than not we do. Some people look at pictures first, react in the affirmative, or out of curiosity and send a blind friend request. We may or may not decide to follow their lead and accept it. In our minds we reserve no harsh penalty toward someone for sending a blind friend request. In like manner we do not feel we owe someone an accept for friendship just because they write an eloquent introduction. We do appreciate an introduction!
Friend request is perhaps a bit misleading for a swing site, where the friend request may include permission to see someone in sexually revealing photos and or videos. We can and are friends with people we are not interested in pursuing a sexually seductive relationship with, so granting digital friendship on the site is different than just being friendly. On the other hand if someone is obviously unfriendly, looking for and finding confrontation, even if they are extremely sexy to look at we tend to avoid them. Friendly people can grow on you and become far more attractive than first impressions. If over time, we find that we like and trust someone, well, if they end up on our digital friends list, and they enjoy seeing us naked and or having orgasms, well isn't that a bit of a compliment? Isn't that kind of exciting? Is it possible that we sometimes, put too much importance on the first contact?
If someone sends us a request, blind, or otherwise, at least one of us usually reads their profile. At least one of us usually sends a response. We are sure we have missed doing that occasionally, but more often than not we do. Some people look at pictures first, react in the affirmative, or out of curiosity and send a blind friend request. We may or may not decide to follow their lead and accept it. In our minds we reserve no harsh penalty toward someone for sending a blind friend request. In like manner we do not feel we owe someone an accept for friendship just because they write an eloquent introduction. We do appreciate an introduction!
Friend request is perhaps a bit misleading for a swing site, where the friend request may include permission to see someone in sexually revealing photos and or videos. We can and are friends with people we are not interested in pursuing a sexually seductive relationship with, so granting digital friendship on the site is different than just being friendly. On the other hand if someone is obviously unfriendly, looking for and finding confrontation, even if they are extremely sexy to look at we tend to avoid them. Friendly people can grow on you and become far more attractive than first impressions. If over time, we find that we like and trust someone, well, if they end up on our digital friends list, and they enjoy seeing us naked and or having orgasms, well isn't that a bit of a compliment? Isn't that kind of exciting? Is it possible that we sometimes, put too much importance on the first contact?
OgdenFunCpl wrote:SHENANIGANIZER wrote:
Ogdenfuncpl, sounds like you don't want to take the time to read a profile, but you want others to read your profile after you lazily send a friends request to them... I guess you just want others to feel privileged that you even sent them a friends request... And after you grace yourself with a freinds request, and the other party humbly accepts it, do you then expect them to message you back first to see about getting together? Seems like you leave all the work to the other party, expect for lazily pushing the freinds request button.... 👏👏👏
I like this response. Totally misses the point. We're reading profiles. We're sending requests.
It's hilarious how all the people who can't be bothered to read the profile of someone who sends them a request are all complaining that people are "too lazy to read profiles". Hilarious. I about died laughing when you talked about OUR expectations.
"Leave all the work to the other party". What a crock. If I've already read your profile, then sent a request, I've done more work than you have. You can't meet half way and also read our profile? That's fine. Keep on keeping on. Good luck out there.
Take another look at expectations (yours more than ours) before you hop up on that soap box tho.
If you actually read our profile before sending your blind friend request, it would have been obvious that we ask for a simple introduction message to go along with your friend request. Clearly you hadn't already read our profile as you claim.
Hey you guys, will are just a real couple, hit us up to play at our apartment in Murray that we're hoping to host at? We want you to bring condoms and a fun attitude, but we want to play and get verified with another couple. We are new to the LS and went to the KandyK meet and greet but we're still looking for a wild and fun couple.
We actually don't mind blind requests. That way they can't see what we REALLY look like!
We met some blind swingers once. They found us very attractive!