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Swingers Forum - To email or not to email

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I’ve got a question for the group. I’m noticing a trend. We all know about the “rule” to send an email with a friend request. Why is it a thing to accept a friend request without responding to the email? We have had more than a dozen of these situations.
I think it is nice to receive a reply. Accepting a friend request will allow you to view each other's private album(s), but that doesnt always imply interest. At least that has been my experience. A reply is a nice way to get a conversation going. Just my aimless meanderings on the topic.
First of all, it's NOT a rule (lol) and we actually find people who send both to be the exception. Having said that we do usually respond to e-mails that accompany friend requests. In fact, since I (the Mr.) am more often than not the one on the site, I usually respond to them long before I approve friend requests. Approving friend requests is something usually we do together since it involves letting strangers see our naughty bits AND our faces. And we rarely approve FR's if people don't have at least a few face pics in any of their pics. Additionally, as a disclaimer, we are not very likely to respond to an email that is an obvious, or even just sounds like, an e-mail spammed out to numerous people. It's not usually hard to tell. To my recollection we've never accepted a friend request without also also responding to an accompanying email.
Well crap. My wife and I are brand new to the site and lifestyle. I did not know about the friend request response. I will keep that in mind the next time. Thank you all for the insight.
EVILDOERS wrote:

First of all, it's NOT a rule (lol) and we actually find people who send both to be the exception. Having said that we do usually respond to e-mails that accompany friend requests. In fact, since I (the Mr.) am more often than not the one on the site, I usually respond to them long before I approve friend requests. Approving friend requests is something usually we do together since it involves letting strangers see our naughty bits AND our faces. And we rarely approve FR's if people don't have at least a few face pics in any of their pics. Additionally, as a disclaimer, we are not very likely to respond to an email that is an obvious, or even just sounds like, an e-mail spammed out to numerous people. It's not usually hard to tell. To my recollection we've never accepted a friend request without also also responding to an accompanying email.


We too ignore the emails that look like a generic copy and paste, but will usually respond to all other emails. But we don't feel obligated to send an email after accepting their friend request if they haven't messaged us first.
This info is super helpful to us noobs, thank you!
If we sent a friend request, but no email, how do we see who we sent the request to? We're new and didn't know to send both. There were only a few requests, but I'd like not to forget anyone.
We appreciate reading the emails......especially if they make it obvious that they read our profile. Our private pics are pretty much all face pics of both of us. It is also very refreshing to get something other than just "hey"
People send an email with a friend request? We hardly ever see that, maybe those folks are not looking at our profile..lol. If no email cums with the friend request we usually just ignore it. We do frequent send emails to other couples and folks in the Utah area and they seem very good responding unlike some other areas. We always write an email before requesting to be friends and it means we are interested.
Did we forget to send you an email Colts?
We are here to actually meet people in person at some point. We don't care to make virtual friends, we have Facebook for that. We feel if you send an email you may actually be interested in meeting at some point. It also helps us understand you have read our profile and feel we may have some things in common. We do not accept friend requests without at least an introduction email. We have close to 200 friend requests in our pending folder. We are sure many of them are great people, but we never received any communication from them letting us know anything about them. Just the way we prefer to do things here. Good Luck!
blkjackaj wrote:

If we sent a friend request, but no email, how do we see who we sent the request to? We're new and didn't know to send both. There were only a few requests, but I'd like not to forget anyone.


The mobile version lets you see who you sent an invite to.
Smitty2 wrote:

The hubs and I appreciate all the good info on the forums. We are VERY new at this and have not been in the online dating game in a long time. To say we are out of the loop is an understatement! That being said, any tips to get attention to our profile? Those that have been here a while, do you even look at new profiles? Or do you wait for newbies to reach out to you? Thanks for any advice!


Your profile pic certainly works, and your others pics show a good view of botb of you. How to get noticed on Swingular? I guess just post in these forums and make yourself visible. Also post in tbe Meetups if you want to take it live.
We try to always send a message with a friend request. And sometimes get the same thing, request approved but no reply to our message. I'm sure it's more the crowd of people who are here just for the thrill of posting ave seeing a few pictures instead of the kind of people who actually want to talk and meet other couples.
To each their own, but we think it's good etiquette to send a nice message along with a friend request...which suggests that the sender has read your profile and possibly found a few common interests or similar stats. Having said that, we received our 7th friend request from the same couple with no message! Arrrgh!!

Each of these type of adult sites are different. We think of the friend request button on this site much like the flirt button or like a photo button on other sites. It's a way of flirting or wanting us to look at their profile to gauge interest. However, we generally ignore or delete most of them due to lack of additional communication, pics, stats, common interests, etc.

Although, we don't mind the friend request button...we really don't think that ones' private pic folder should be linked to accepting a friend request.

No worries though, "Life is Good"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡
EVILDOERS wrote:

First of all, it's NOT a rule (lol) and we actually find people who send both to be the exception. Having said that we do usually respond to e-mails that accompany friend requests. In fact, since I (the Mr.) am more often than not the one on the site, I usually respond to them long before I approve friend requests. Approving friend requests is something usually we do together since it involves letting strangers see our naughty bits AND our faces. And we rarely approve FR's if people don't have at least a few face pics in any of their pics. Additionally, as a disclaimer, we are not very likely to respond to an email that is an obvious, or even just sounds like, an e-mail spammed out to numerous people. It's not usually hard to tell. To my recollection we've never accepted a friend request without also also responding to an accompanying email.


Pretty much this with the exception we don't like to share or face photos online. We are aware this is a deal breaker for some.
Also what SONEWHERENTIME said.
A message along with a FR also helps rule out those that just want to collect photos.
We like to see a face for sure. They don't need to be attached to nudes. Our privates are pretty much face pics or generic pics that show our faces. If a couple is a interested and let us know that they would like to share their face pics via kik or text we are fine with that. We won't meet others without knowing what they look like though.