We’ve been out of the lifestyle for awhile and have wondered if there’s a point to where your age starts to come into play as far as attraction? Even if you’re both good looking and fit are there couples that have limits? We personally don’t but it also seems like we had a lot more action when we were in our 30’s. Unless of course the LS has changed and the pool of people has gotten smaller? Is there a better site than this one? Feel free to chime in. Would love to hear some opinions.
You two look amazing!! Age is just a number.. We think it's more just the normal anymore that people don't get out and interact as much . Everyone is so addicted to there smart phones that we've become a society that is more comfortable sending a nude selfie than sitting in a hot tub sipping wine and experiencing true emotions and passion that can only exist with face to face interaction. As I say this on my smart phone :-)
There are people that are disinterested in one or both of us, and there are people that are interested in one or both of us, for a number of reasons, including how old we are. There are people one or both of us find interesting and others we don't. It's been that way for the two of us and perhaps most of the swing community since the dawning of our non-monogamy discovery and experience. We are not all that worried about those who find us disinteresting, or the whys or wherefores, for their disinterest. Perhaps, the best way to discover people we fit in with, and that find us interesting, is to just show up as who we really are, authentically ourselves.
UTHOTCPLEXTREME, it seems there is a lively and growing crowd, mostly in their thirties and forties that meet at the Moose on Friday nights. We bet you'll be quite popular!
UTHOTCPLEXTREME, it seems there is a lively and growing crowd, mostly in their thirties and forties that meet at the Moose on Friday nights. We bet you'll be quite popular!
HOTPASSIONATE wrote:
You two look amazing!! Age is just a number.. We think it's more just the normal anymore that people don't get out and interact as much . Everyone is so addicted to there smart phones that we've become a society that is more comfortable sending a nude selfie than sitting in a hot tub sipping wine and experiencing true emotions and passion that can only exist with face to face interaction. As I say this on my smart phone :-)
Thank you! We really wanted to see how others felt about this. Age is obviously something you can’t slow down and we hear a lot that we don’t look our ages but was wondering if age alone scares some couples? If it does, it’s unfortunate because with age comes experience. 😉
And we’ve heard of the moose. Guess we need to check it out.
Age isn't and issue with us but we're older also but hit the gym five times a week and eat clean so we don't look our age..... Or act it!!@
Age is nothing we have fb's anywhere from 25-52 it just depends on whether or not they can separate from Swingers and be friends too.
I mean we like to swing but sometimes we just like to hang out but we find the young'uns are a little overzealous sometimes which can be annoying so we prefer the older crowd.
I mean we like to swing but sometimes we just like to hang out but we find the young'uns are a little overzealous sometimes which can be annoying so we prefer the older crowd.
We were wondering the same thing (people not getting out as much) Hotpassionate may be on to something with the technology, not to mention free porn! We've notice that there are not near as many peeps at our favorite strip club over the past few years even though the girls seem hotter than ever.
150 scares the SHIT out of us. And 100 is def in the creepy side. ;-)
And the whole phone thing...we've been to parties where like half the people are sitting there on their phones texting or tweeting or, I dunno, live streaming the swinger party? It's really quite comical even if it's pretty sad too. I'm not quite sure what the purpose of going to a swing party actually IS if you're spending most of the time on your phone. Sexting? You could do that sitting at home in your pajamas with Cheetos dust all over your face and hands and your hair up in curlers (do women still use curlers?).
And the whole phone thing...we've been to parties where like half the people are sitting there on their phones texting or tweeting or, I dunno, live streaming the swinger party? It's really quite comical even if it's pretty sad too. I'm not quite sure what the purpose of going to a swing party actually IS if you're spending most of the time on your phone. Sexting? You could do that sitting at home in your pajamas with Cheetos dust all over your face and hands and your hair up in curlers (do women still use curlers?).
I'm not usually attracted to men over 10 years younger than me. And if a couple starts to look the age of my parents...then nope.
Cheetos dust and curlers used to be a game killer for us. Now it is a signal that we have something in common. We thought the cell phones at the parties were just people trying to remember usernames.
As far as age goes....it doesn't matter to us. Chemistry is everything with us.
As far as age goes....it doesn't matter to us. Chemistry is everything with us.
POUNDCAKE wrote:
Cheetos dust and curlers used to be a game killer for us. Now it is a signal that we have something in common. We thought the cell phones at the parties were just people trying to remember usernames.
As far as age goes....it doesn't matter to us. Chemistry is everything with us.
Right there with ya, POUND.
EVILDOERS wrote:POUNDCAKE wrote:
Cheetos dust and curlers used to be a game killer for us. Now it is a signal that we have something in common. We thought the cell phones at the parties were just people trying to remember usernames.
As far as age goes....it doesn't matter to us. Chemistry is everything with us.
Right there with ya, POUND.
Simultaneous holiday chemical ejaculations between two dudes! Is this a Starbucks ad?
We don't draw a line on age, but for us we've found that typically we tend to be more attracted to those that are within 10 years or so of our ages in either direction. Those on the younger side, we don't seem to have that mental or social connection, and those on the older side, it tends to be more of a physical attraction issue. There are of course exceptions to this. In all actuality, those that we've become closest to are probably within 3-5 years of our ages. I think that's more due to being in similar places in life with friends, career, family life, and common interests.
DoubleD03
That is exactly how we feel. For us in our 20s it's harder to find people near our age. Late 40s and 50s starts edging too close to our parents ages and it ends up turning us off mentally.
That is exactly how we feel. For us in our 20s it's harder to find people near our age. Late 40s and 50s starts edging too close to our parents ages and it ends up turning us off mentally.
To us chemistry takes all of those things into consideration. Ability to hold a coversation. Sense of humor is huge. Fitness level. Looks are important to us as well. When it is all there and there is some give and take. Flirtatious fun. Maybe a little tension. All is good. It’s not that easy to find though. When you do....well that is chemistry
At our age we dont expect to attract the 20 -40 year olds. Although we have played with those in their 30s and had great fun. Our problem is finding couples in our age group that we are attracted too. What we find is just not as many possibilities. The folks that take care of themselves and have a wide variety of sexual interest probably do ok. When you hit your 60s while you might be able to keep up, not as many couples are interested. We continue to reach out and if couples are interested great and if they are not we certainly do not take it personally. We work hard to keep ourselves fit and always appreciate other that do also, no matter what age.
Age, weight, attractiveness are SO subjective. But yes, in general, as people age they usually aren't quite as attractive/desirable (for a number of reasons) as they were when they were younger. There are exceptions, for example, if someone was quite overweight at some point in their life and then lost the excess weight or something like that.
But there are plenty of things people CAN do (yes, even short of plastic surgery) to enhance their attractiveness as they get older. Certainly staying height/weight proportionate is a big one, especially nowadays when the majority of Americans are overweight (this too, however, is somewhat subjective as some people think being a few pounds overweight doesn't really show where others fight to keep off every extra ounce). Working out, building muscle and toning the body can go a long ways towards helping to disguise and/or overcome some of the effects of gravity and too many trips around the sun.
Other things that can enhance the look of old age that are relatively easily remedied are things like covering up grey hair and stuff like bleaching your teeth. Judicious use of makeup and self tanner (but stay away from that shit that makes you look orange!) can also, in certain individuals, make one appear somewhat younger.
In the end, age IS just a number to a certain degree and we each have to decide which criteria we're going to use to determine who we play with and who we don't play with. We've met couples older than us who are in AMAZING shape and who look and act younger than some couples considerably younger than we are. YMMV
But there are plenty of things people CAN do (yes, even short of plastic surgery) to enhance their attractiveness as they get older. Certainly staying height/weight proportionate is a big one, especially nowadays when the majority of Americans are overweight (this too, however, is somewhat subjective as some people think being a few pounds overweight doesn't really show where others fight to keep off every extra ounce). Working out, building muscle and toning the body can go a long ways towards helping to disguise and/or overcome some of the effects of gravity and too many trips around the sun.
Other things that can enhance the look of old age that are relatively easily remedied are things like covering up grey hair and stuff like bleaching your teeth. Judicious use of makeup and self tanner (but stay away from that shit that makes you look orange!) can also, in certain individuals, make one appear somewhat younger.
In the end, age IS just a number to a certain degree and we each have to decide which criteria we're going to use to determine who we play with and who we don't play with. We've met couples older than us who are in AMAZING shape and who look and act younger than some couples considerably younger than we are. YMMV
Grooming. Trimming. Haircuts. Taking care of ones teeth. Not just that one tooth. Throwing out shirts with stains on them. Clothing that fits properly. Nice shoes. Manicures. Pedicures. Manners. pulling out a chair. Opening a door. Compliments. Chivalry.
POUNDCAKE wrote:
Grooming. Trimming. Haircuts. Taking care of ones teeth. Not just that one tooth. Throwing out shirts with stains on them. Clothing that fits properly. Nice shoes. Manicures. Pedicures. Manners. pulling out a chair. Opening a door. Compliments. Chivalry.
Nicely said poundcake
Here ya go!
Aging is normal. People were aging before the first person began formalized counting. How we react to one another has something to do with the external world around us, and everything to do with our internal perceptions of that world. Arousal of the senses is a key element in consciousness. We can positively arouse people all around us, long after we begin to lose some of our ability to arouse people sexually, through our appearance. An aged woman or man, unable to walk, or move about, might still be able to write a seductive story that might arouse anyone of any age. In any case take care of your mind and your body and the years will remain kind longer.
We are in our 40's as well and have found some great singles and couples to play with. We have to travel to play because of where we live but we have had great success in finding couples our age to play/hang out and have fun with.
DOUBLED03 wrote:
We don't draw a line on age, but for us we've found that typically we tend to be more attracted to those that are within 10 years or so of our ages in either direction. Those on the younger side, we don't seem to have that mental or social connection, and those on the older side, it tends to be more of a physical attraction issue. There are of course exceptions to this. In all actuality, those that we've become closest to are probably within 3-5 years of our ages. I think that's more due to being in similar places in life with friends, career, family life, and common interests.
Totally agree, though TBH I'll also say that while we haven't had a conversation about this or follow it as a rule, as we approach 40 we both tend to want to have as many experiences with smokin' young people as possible (~22-30). We don't have kids but we may want to in the next few years. It's hard to imagine we'll still fit in with 22 year olds (physically) in a few more years.
OMG, serious
this is something we have talked about as well. We took a break for a few years and are just easing ourselves back in, and have noticed a few changes in the people we have met at parties. I like to believe though that the great people that were around a few years ago are still around and honestly cant wait to start the amazing friendships up again.
Sorry to tell you, but while psychologists can find some convergence on what most people find attractive, and while most people are attracted to folks of similar age and station, we have all been duped. Standards of beauty and sexiness are arbitrary and fed to us by those who have things to sell us by saying none of us are quite good looking enough. We should buy their widget stuff and then we will be attractive to others, is all they say. I can feel the big lie's pervasiveness in a few comments above. People who are mature enough inside realize that beauty is in who they already are, not what they lack. That is way more sexy. As a man, give me the woman who has learned to love being a unique expression of humanity; a lady who knows who she is and what she wants. I have a hard on for her. She or he just naturally does not dress or act badly.
The sad part is that most younger adults have not had the opportunity to grow beyond the unreal ideal we are force fed through the media. It sometimes takes some ripening to become really in touch with really sexy. May all learn about that sexiness in time to enjoy it.
The sad part is that most younger adults have not had the opportunity to grow beyond the unreal ideal we are force fed through the media. It sometimes takes some ripening to become really in touch with really sexy. May all learn about that sexiness in time to enjoy it.
100 isn’t too scary, always had a fantasy about a much older woman, no teeth etc. however any age below 18 scare the absolute shit out of us....
I'm 39, and one of the women I'm most into is 57 years old. I've met and talked with both her and her daughter, and she is so much sexier than her daughter to me.
SIMPLEPLEASURES wrote:
100 isn’t too scary, always had a fantasy about a much older woman, no teeth etc. however any age below 18 scare the absolute shit out of us....
Bingo at the nursing home!!! And they csn host too...
We think of age as just a number, but with age comes experience, wisdom and somewhat of a social economic difference as it pertains to our stage in life and what we prefer in others. We also find it more difficult meeting other couples pushing 50+ that take care of themselves and are still aesthetically pleasing to us. We have found Mother Nature has not been so kind to some as she has to others or they simply stopped trying or don't appear to take care of themselves any longer. We are not perfect, but we are always trying to become a better version of ourselves, despite the age.
To each there own, but chemistry & physical attraction are an important part of the equation when looking for LS friends. We all are not a match for each other, but lucky for us there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hopefully, with time everyone learns to become better fisherman.
To each there own, but chemistry & physical attraction are an important part of the equation when looking for LS friends. We all are not a match for each other, but lucky for us there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hopefully, with time everyone learns to become better fisherman.
Age is just a number for most of us in the lifestyle, as we get older we realize what is important and what isn't, with that said, we do believe that to the younger crowd (20 to 30) age is inportant, and that's not wrong, right or indifferent, it's just a preference, we also believe that most of us have some sort of age cutoff on both ends, older and younger, but we are always willing to meet and at least have coffee or drinks. We don't blame anyone that thinks we are too old, we just want to tell you that you have no idea what you're missing. 😉😉
I had a physical, with all the lab work last Thursday. My blood pressure, heart function, liver function, kidney function, lung capacity, hearing, balance, reflexes, strength, posture, endurance, bone density, cholesterol, lipids, etcetera, all test normal or better than average, not just for my age, but for the average American male. I take no prescriptions, for anything, because I don't need any. I also test negative for all STD/STIs. I've worn glasses since the second grade so my eye sight could be better. I did have chicken pox when I was a kid and I did lose my appendix when I was 11. I am not anywhere near as flexible as a yoga instructor and I have some shredded cartilage in some of my joints due to living an active life. So yes I have some minor deficits. At this point, I can keep up with quite a few people less than half my age. I do some part-time work at altitude and I do have younger co-workers sometimes ask me to slow down, and there are some I find it more difficult to keep up with as the years pass. I am losing a step or three. The older I get the better I was. I will enjoy it for as long as nature allows me to. Being healthy is it's own reward. Even as a young man I probably felt better than I looked.
Does being healthy and almost 63 mean that much younger women are going to be sexually attracted to me? It happens, but it's more of an exception than a rule. At my age, the gaps in performance and possibly appearance, from both the lack of care for ones health, and or one's genetics, become more apparent. I have never been attracted to all of the women in my age group, at any point in my life, just like I have never been attractive to all of the women in my age group at any point in my life. When there is attraction and chemistry that's when the magic happens. My own shallowness in what turns me off about ones appearance has diminished quite a bit with age, but I do have some limits. So why should I judge anyone for having limits, even if those limits exclude me from their concept of attractive? I'd be the pot calling the kettle black. All of us need to remember that we are never as limited as, or by someone else's perception of us. None of us can be all things to all people, but most of us can be something special to at least a few special people. Character flaws wreck more people's relationship potential than what they look like.
In the swinging lifestyle, where sex is a possibility, there is an added potential for rejection not commonly crossed in the vanilla world, for those of us already in a healthy romantic and sexual relationship. For the two of us it's still worth the risk, of getting rejected, or having to reject advances. Both are a bit difficult.
Does being healthy and almost 63 mean that much younger women are going to be sexually attracted to me? It happens, but it's more of an exception than a rule. At my age, the gaps in performance and possibly appearance, from both the lack of care for ones health, and or one's genetics, become more apparent. I have never been attracted to all of the women in my age group, at any point in my life, just like I have never been attractive to all of the women in my age group at any point in my life. When there is attraction and chemistry that's when the magic happens. My own shallowness in what turns me off about ones appearance has diminished quite a bit with age, but I do have some limits. So why should I judge anyone for having limits, even if those limits exclude me from their concept of attractive? I'd be the pot calling the kettle black. All of us need to remember that we are never as limited as, or by someone else's perception of us. None of us can be all things to all people, but most of us can be something special to at least a few special people. Character flaws wreck more people's relationship potential than what they look like.
In the swinging lifestyle, where sex is a possibility, there is an added potential for rejection not commonly crossed in the vanilla world, for those of us already in a healthy romantic and sexual relationship. For the two of us it's still worth the risk, of getting rejected, or having to reject advances. Both are a bit difficult.