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Swingers Forum - Do you cut to the chase?

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Question today is how likely are you to have sex on a first date as swingers?

a. Never

b. Rarely

c. about half the time

d. Often

e. Always, if there is chemistry

f. Always, and in all ways imaginable
We will go first. Its a combination of e., and c., for us. If there is chemistry between everyone involved then yes! Why not? That happens on a first date about half the time we get together with someone. Well, maybe a little more. Okay maybe we are just about in the often category.
b. Rarely

We STRONGLY prefer to get to know people first. It HAS happened in the past but it's quite rare and we don't feel bad if we go out and don't 'get lucky' because we can just go home and get lucky with each other. For us, sex is WAY more fun with people we know (at least a little bit), like, and have something in common with. And taking just pure physical attraction out of the equation, somewhat, has helped us see beyond the superficial and find traits in people that are attractive beyond simple outward appearance. We never go into any meeting with any expectations other than, hopefully, good conversation and maybe a few laughs. Sex is great but friendships are what keep us coming back. Besides, we've found that often people who are TOO eager to get to the bedroom are usually hiding some personality trait that we don't find appealing at all. YMMV
EVILDOERS wrote:

b. Rarely

We STRONGLY prefer to get to know people first. It HAS happened in the past but it's quite rare and we don't feel bad if we go out and don't 'get lucky' because we can just go home and get lucky with each other. For us, sex is WAY more fun with people we know (at least a little bit), like, and have something in common with. And taking just pure physical attraction out of the equation, somewhat, has helped us see beyond the superficial and find traits in people that are attractive beyond simple outward appearance. We never go into any meeting with any expectations other than, hopefully, good conversation and maybe a few laughs. Sex is great but friendships are what keep us coming back. Besides, we've found that often people who are TOO eager to get to the bedroom are usually hiding some personality trait that we don't find appealing at all. YMMV


Yeah if they are pushy in the least, it is a sign that they might always be pushy, and or try and be controlling. We meet people with no expectations, no pressure. Expectations lead to disappointments. We never push. If we meet have a good conversation, that's just fine. One reason we don't meet with other swingers all that often, is because we do a lot of socializing in the vanilla world. So sex, much as we like it, often takes a second seat to just socializing. When we do meet with a couple, for the first time, who we met due to our mutual affiliation of sorts, with the swing scene, we meet with no expectations. It's just been our experience that if we all end up being mutually attracted, physically and mentally, that sex seems to happen kind of often. I guess we could read some sort of flaw into that. We certainly are not flawless. We did however meet, because our mutual shared interest, was sex, and so really it should not be such a big surprise if sex actually happens.
Is there a right answer to this question?

Maybe if we all keep safety and joy in mind, and follow the natural flow, respecting others, as we would have them show us respect, good things happen! Bad things perhaps won't because the halts happen early on, and were built upon what happens in the moment, rather than preconceptions. We live in the moment, and the past enlightens our moments, it does not control them. If someone struggles with just being nice, they self identify rather quickly. We avoid people who can't be nice. Is there a best way for everyone? Is it possible once we think we have all the best answers, that we might become someone who now has an agenda? Can each and every moment have a perhaps? Can matter of fact be like blinders? We have been fortunate in the state of perhaps. Lucky perhaps.

"If a man dwells on the past, then he robs the present. But if a man ignores the past, he may rob the future. The seeds of our destiny are nurtured by the roots of our past."

Master Po
D
Evil,

YMMV? Do you discuss viscosity, and regular maintenance on the first date? Do you kick the tires?
We have noticed, that perhaps people who started swinging young, at the time their lives together were developing, as was their social circle, tend to have more friends that are swingers, that they hang out with on a regular basis. If more of their good friends swing, then hooking up, is perhaps, just part of what happens as they socialize. If their friend's friends are also mostly swingers, then it may accelerate the possibility that they will easily meet new lovers. People who entered into the swing scene later in life, who may have already developed a busy social circle, mostly within the vanilla world, may look at swinging a bit differently. It's not like you want to drop your long time social circle, just because they don't swing. Again, how swinging plays out in one's life is most probably affected by every other aspect of one's life. We started swinging when I was 48 or 49 and Mrs. Delicious was 41 or 42. We lived a very busy life, and were involved in a lot of different activities prior to that time. During the decade plus that we have been swingers, our lives have really only gotten busier. Most of our vanilla friends know we are pretty open minded and liberal. We have been involved in volunteer efforts through schools and other secular sources of community out-reach too. Some of our friends, colleagues and associates know we swing. A few are also swingers. Our vanilla friends are much more numerous than our swinger friends. We enjoy people. Swingers, that can and do easily and tastefully, move about within family, and vanilla society, tend to be a good fit for us when it comes to deeper friendships. We do enjoy hooking up with people that may be a bit more swing-centric too. We just won't be at all the house parties, events and or meet and greets very often. We will show up every now and again.
We would say D, E and F. Depending on the chemistry. I mean that’s why we’re doing this right?
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:

Evil,

YMMV? Do you discuss viscosity, and regular maintenance on the first date? Do you kick the tires?


We stay the FUCK away from viscous people. Def into people who maintain themselves. No tires, but Ms. Evil has kicked one or two douche canoes in the nads when they pissed her off. Don't piss Ms. Evil off.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:

We have noticed, that perhaps people who started swinging young, at the time their lives together were developing, as was their social circle, tend to have more friends that are swingers, that they hang out with on a regular basis. If more of their good friends swing, then hooking up, is perhaps, just part of what happens as they socialize. If their friend's friends are also mostly swingers, then it may accelerate the possibility that they will easily meet new lovers. People who entered into the swing scene later in life, who may have already developed a busy social circle, mostly within the vanilla world, may look at swinging a bit differently. It's not like you want to drop your long time social circle, just because they don't swing. Again, how swinging plays out in one's life is most probably affected by every other aspect of one's life. We started swinging when I was 48 or 49 and Mrs. Delicious was 41 or 42. We lived a very busy life, and were involved in a lot of different activities prior to that time. During the decade plus that we have been swingers, our lives have really only gotten busier. Most of our vanilla friends know we are pretty open minded and liberal. We have been involved in volunteer efforts through schools and other secular sources of community out-reach too. Some of our friends, colleagues and associates know we swing. A few are also swingers. Our vanilla friends are much more numerous than our swinger friends. We enjoy people. Swingers, that can and do easily and tastefully, move about within family, and vanilla society, tend to be a good fit for us when it comes to deeper friendships. We do enjoy hooking up with people that may be a bit more swing-centric too. We just won't be at all the house parties, events and or meet and greets very often. We will show up every now and again.


Would agree very much with Delicious, usually do. Started young before being married, even when married large percentage of my friends were swinging or checking it out, only friends that were not were his, converted some. After my divorce and moving back to Miami a large majority to this day are swingers. One aspect is work, mostly business relationships, not swinging with any but having sex with. Rarely go to parties or functions where I don't know all because my social circle are all friends that swing. So if I had to answer it would b or a. Rarely run into or introduced to swingers I don't know. Very happy with my circle and rarely meet anyone I want to be with. Of course some exceptions, but not many.
C,D,and E for us, if things are right why not.
Probably equals up to B and E for us. It seems that there is not always that chemistry on the first meet but sometimes builds up by the second or third when shyness subsides, nerves are calmed and guard is let down a little.
We have to bring you home to our parents first for approval before we can fuck