My wife and I would like to fuck some people and/or have sex with them. We are experienced swingers but haven't had sexual intercourse with anyone else for a long long time. In fact, our swinger hymens have almost assuredly grown back and our genitalia is as tight and unused as that of a first semester freshman BYU coed (full disclaimer-there also may or may not be cobwebs present from disuse). If you like Pina Coladas and gettin' lost in the rain...if you're not into STD's and you have half a brain please HUU.
Alternatively we would like to orgybang a bunch of hot nasty slutty people. Costumes and/or real personalities are optional. We're not looking for one night stands. We're looking for 1 hour (maybe 30 minutes) stands.
We are dead ringers for Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan (if both of them went on a 3 month bender of drugs, alcohol and Fight Club-esque beatings). We don't expect you to be Ken and Barbie but we want you to at least be Skipper and Todd or maybe Chuckie and a Cabbage Patch Kid. If you don't know any of these references you're WAY too young for us and you should go fuck some really hot Beliebers while discussing the pros and cons of Call of Duty WWII. No offense.
We don't Kick or Instachat or Snapgram or Twit. In fact our cell phones only hold half a dozen contacts each, voice dial is spotty, and our virtual/digital assistant is Ask Jeeves' alcoholic second cousin from Plumpton, East Sussex, Nigel. So you'll have to contact us through email, smoke signals, or Miss Cleo. We prefer Miss Cleo. NO SNAIL MAIL! We're not old, irrelevant geezers!
Check out our profile and pics and if you don't experience severe projectile vomiting we might just be your next right swipe (No idea what that means but it sounded edgy and hip and not entirely 100% desperate).
THE (accept no substitutes) Evildoers
Alternatively we would like to orgybang a bunch of hot nasty slutty people. Costumes and/or real personalities are optional. We're not looking for one night stands. We're looking for 1 hour (maybe 30 minutes) stands.
We are dead ringers for Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan (if both of them went on a 3 month bender of drugs, alcohol and Fight Club-esque beatings). We don't expect you to be Ken and Barbie but we want you to at least be Skipper and Todd or maybe Chuckie and a Cabbage Patch Kid. If you don't know any of these references you're WAY too young for us and you should go fuck some really hot Beliebers while discussing the pros and cons of Call of Duty WWII. No offense.
We don't Kick or Instachat or Snapgram or Twit. In fact our cell phones only hold half a dozen contacts each, voice dial is spotty, and our virtual/digital assistant is Ask Jeeves' alcoholic second cousin from Plumpton, East Sussex, Nigel. So you'll have to contact us through email, smoke signals, or Miss Cleo. We prefer Miss Cleo. NO SNAIL MAIL! We're not old, irrelevant geezers!
Check out our profile and pics and if you don't experience severe projectile vomiting we might just be your next right swipe (No idea what that means but it sounded edgy and hip and not entirely 100% desperate).
THE (accept no substitutes) Evildoers
Very educational.
If you like fucking around at midnight....in the dunes of the cape...we might be the swinging friends that you've looked for....
And hey....your profile pics are pretty hot. 😉
And hey....your profile pics are pretty hot. 😉
Okay, so for everybody who is totally crushing on us really hard now, you MUST have your own SCUBA equipment and/or a lightly used Segway (spinners on the wheels are optional). Also, not to make this too hard or anything, but please bring a signed doctor's note with the dates of all recent vaccinations (especially rabies...no particular reason though!) and either a recent brain scan or a thorough psychiatric workup. Additionally, there WILL be a test. Nothing too hard, but be prepared to show that you can either balance a checkbook (again, kids, if you don't know what that is.....) or map polar coordinates WITHOUT a graphing calculator. Either of those tests can be forgone if you know how to make kick-ass balloon animals. 
Love your sense of humor.😊
ROLITA wrote:
Love your sense of humor.😊
You should see my sense of irony. It's YUGE!
Really? NOBODY wants to play?!!? We have popcorn balls...and candy corn.
LOL Love your humor! Your profile is perfect and very entertaining! 
EVILDOERS wrote:
Really? NOBODY wants to play?!!? We have popcorn balls...and candy corn.
You keep telling me to stop massaging you...
SHENANIGANIZER wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
Really? NOBODY wants to play?!!? We have popcorn balls...and candy corn.
You keep telling me to stop massaging you...
That's because it tickles when you rub that one spot, you know which one...and because you owned an Isuzu Rodeo.
EVILDOERS wrote:
Really? NOBODY wants to play?!!? We have popcorn balls...and candy corn.
Well Geez.....if you don't like fucking around at midnight in the dunes of the cape....we offered. ðŸ˜
SEXYADVENTURE wrote:EVILDOERS wrote:
Really? NOBODY wants to play?!!? We have popcorn balls...and candy corn.
Well Geez.....if you don't like fucking around at midnight in the dunes of the cape....we offered. ðŸ˜
Too many brine flies. And that SMELL...!
We have started a kik group for northern Utah and southern Idaho. This is for Couples only and no singles allowed. We will be verifying each couple to gain access. Email us directly if interested. Thanks
Inittowinit1999 wrote:
We have started a kik group for northern Utah and southern Idaho. This is for Couples only and no singles allowed. We will be verifying each couple to gain access. Email us directly if interested. Thanks
Well okey dokey then.
we would love to meet new people and have some fun and meet new friends
my wife and i are looking for other friends who want to just have fun and exciting times
You made no mention of an ability to cosplay Ron Jeremy. If you can fulfill this lifelong dream for me, I'll be your huckleberry. Or, at least, drink your pina coladas.
Get your asses down to Vegas! We will happily oblige your desires. We do get up to SLC region often during ski season too.
LILMISSRIDINGHOOD wrote:
You made no mention of an ability to cosplay Ron Jeremy. If you can fulfill this lifelong dream for me, I'll be your huckleberry. Or, at least, drink your pina coladas.
We actually met RJ at a LSO swing convention back when we were Padawan swingers. TOTAL COOTIE but actually quite nice and really funny. He was with one of his barely legal teenage girlfriends du jour. Ms. Evil told me in no uncertain terms that she wouldn't fuck him with MY dick...or anyone else's...or with a 30 foot long (name an object). And I LOVE to eat huckleberry pie!