We are new this year to the lifestyle and married 5 months after really sexually neglected marriages. We have had private couple full swaps in our home and LOVED them!!
We were introduced to an AWESOME group of lifestyle people who camp, boat, and go to events together and I can honestly say I felt immediately at home and loved all of them. We have never felt so included in our lives and LOVED. Topless boating, the squeezing, the banter, the conversation, etc.... WONDERFUL!
UNTIL.....we found ourselves unexpectedly at a campfire with about 20 couples and all of them with others. We even saw one wife leave her husband (who sat there bored and alone) to go off and fuck a guy. It wasn't arousing. It was awkward as hell because we were not sexually into any of these people. But their close friendship allowed them each this emotional connection we still don't understand.
Last weekend, while camping again, I had the largest panick attack of my life. I walked in on two women having sex and a group of men watching. I wasn't turned on, I was in tears and crying so hard I couldn't identify why. All through the day couples kept walking off and being exclusive for in trailer fucking.
My husband is a nudist, so he is comfortable with watching. I can not STAND to watch. I have to be involved, perceive the event and players and know that it is planned to happen and can only do it with one couple at a time.
I feel like a swinging failure~! Has anyone else experienced this?
My husband feels this pain when I enjoy single men so we are not at all playing with singles for that reason. Only couples.
Also, the older crowd was PISSED that I wasn't into them. I simply love the social group aspect and activities, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck them all. I was finding that I was lacking a "tactful" way to let them know I wasn't interested. And I felt this huge anxiety the entire time.
Are there TYPES of Swinging? Am I insane? Why can't I stand group sex?!
We were introduced to an AWESOME group of lifestyle people who camp, boat, and go to events together and I can honestly say I felt immediately at home and loved all of them. We have never felt so included in our lives and LOVED. Topless boating, the squeezing, the banter, the conversation, etc.... WONDERFUL!
UNTIL.....we found ourselves unexpectedly at a campfire with about 20 couples and all of them with others. We even saw one wife leave her husband (who sat there bored and alone) to go off and fuck a guy. It wasn't arousing. It was awkward as hell because we were not sexually into any of these people. But their close friendship allowed them each this emotional connection we still don't understand.
Last weekend, while camping again, I had the largest panick attack of my life. I walked in on two women having sex and a group of men watching. I wasn't turned on, I was in tears and crying so hard I couldn't identify why. All through the day couples kept walking off and being exclusive for in trailer fucking.
My husband is a nudist, so he is comfortable with watching. I can not STAND to watch. I have to be involved, perceive the event and players and know that it is planned to happen and can only do it with one couple at a time.
I feel like a swinging failure~! Has anyone else experienced this?
My husband feels this pain when I enjoy single men so we are not at all playing with singles for that reason. Only couples.
Also, the older crowd was PISSED that I wasn't into them. I simply love the social group aspect and activities, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck them all. I was finding that I was lacking a "tactful" way to let them know I wasn't interested. And I felt this huge anxiety the entire time.
Are there TYPES of Swinging? Am I insane? Why can't I stand group sex?!
You're not insane. Swinging is whatever you define for you guys and that's all. We've been swinging for almost20 years and definitely had our awkward situation arise from time to time. Bottom line is if you don't feel completely comfortable find another group or just point out that you are only there for social reasons.
WTFBICPL, well said. Swinging is whatever you want it to be. There are many different types of people in this lifestyle and many different varieties of actual swinging. I've noticed a few couples on here that are really just voyeurs and want only to watch, no swapping or touching. We've met some that are soft swap only, and met others that are full swap only. There are people on here that will have sex with anyone that says yes, and those that are selective and rarely play.
It's 100% up to you on what you are comfortable with. Unfortunately, trial and error is a big part about finding out what you are willing to do, or not willing to do. We've had to set rules after uncomfortable and awkward situations that we never would have thought about beforehand. Now that you know some of what you are comfortable with, you can set your own rules and put yourself in better situations where you won't feel awkward. Being upfront with others about what you want is a good start. Remember, it's your fantasy, that's what you are in this for. Nobody else gets to decide what you do or don't do.
It's 100% up to you on what you are comfortable with. Unfortunately, trial and error is a big part about finding out what you are willing to do, or not willing to do. We've had to set rules after uncomfortable and awkward situations that we never would have thought about beforehand. Now that you know some of what you are comfortable with, you can set your own rules and put yourself in better situations where you won't feel awkward. Being upfront with others about what you want is a good start. Remember, it's your fantasy, that's what you are in this for. Nobody else gets to decide what you do or don't do.
Do whatever is best for the two of you. Don't let anyone try and push you into anything. If you don't feel comfortable leave. Avoid people that don't respect your boundaries. You are never a failure if you remain honest and true to yourselves first. You can't be true to anyone unless you remain true to yourself. Do what you enjoy with whomever you enjoy doing it with. Say no to anything and anyone you want.
This lifestyle is what you make it. There is something for everyone and different comfort levels. Some people like to watch, some people like the socializing of it, some like the play and action. Depending on where you are at in your relationship depends on how far your willing to go. I know from personal experience our rules are so different than what they were when we first started. Its all about TRUST and HONESTY with your partner and the people you hang with. I love the friendships we have gain through this journey and we love the energy of the people we have in our lives and none judging and most honest people you will meet