It seems like there are many profiles that say that they want “friends inside and outside of the bedroomâ€. That is the main reason we started in the lifestyle and we have yet to find anyone else that would like to hang out and be friends. Is it just us, or is this as elusive as a unicorn.
Well, it could be your location...we are always looking for friends, people that are perverted like us but don't have expectations of a swap...
We have found a few couples that we are now personal friends with and have played with. They are out Also for us even if a friendship doesn't always go all the way to the bedroom it's still nice to hang out with like minded people.
SHENANIGANIZER wrote:
Well, it could be your location...we are always looking for friends, people that are perverted like us but don't have expectations of a swap...
We have generally given up on the far northern scene and have tried to focus our activities to the SL Valley, but still nothing. We have met couples we clicked really well with, that say that are looking for the same, maybe my super ginormous penis scares them away. LOL
Completely understand your situation but it is actually very achievable. We have many friends from here on Swingular that we have played with but also do other things with. We cherish our friends from the LS very much because we can really relax with them, no pretense, don not have to watch what we say (within reason) but can have lots of adult fun times with them. So yes, it does happen, but it isn't everyone you meet here.
SWINGTASTICUT wrote:SHENANIGANIZER wrote:
Well, it could be your location...we are always looking for friends, people that are perverted like us but don't have expectations of a swap...
We have generally given up on the far northern scene and have tried to focus our activities to the SL Valley, but still nothing. We have met couples we clicked really well with, that say that are looking for the same, maybe my super ginormous penis scares them away. LOL
Can you blame them?
I've made many friends I've never slept with. And then there are those that I have. Friends in the lifestyle aren't difficult to find when you're open to it and going where you'll meet more people in the LS.
We are still interested in hanging out! We have just found that alcohol doesn't enhance our experience. Bars and pubs just aren't our thing. Hit us up!!
I am in SLC I have meet and played with a few fun people and always looking for more to get to know. I have friends as far away as Idaho.
Evil,
You couldn't find one that was shaven? Even if it would destroy a womans cervix, they'd still try it but only if it was at least trimmed.
You couldn't find one that was shaven? Even if it would destroy a womans cervix, they'd still try it but only if it was at least trimmed.
I live not to far from you and I'm also having the same problem maybe we could hang out some time
I would love to find some more friends. But living in spanish fork is hard and schedules especially when people have kids. And we dont typically.
I would love to find some more friends. But living in spanish fork is hard and schedules especially when people have kids. And we dont typically.
We have been some great friends, even traveled with some friends that we meet in lifestyle and never played with...just good friends
It is possible. We try also to be friends first and than play...at least that works for us so far.
It is possible. We try also to be friends first and than play...at least that works for us so far.
We live in Roy, not too far from you. We also would like to have more friends in the lifestyle. We have a big heated garage, we play card and dice games. We also have a hot tub and extra room at the house. Send us a friend request if you might be interested.
SHENANIGANIZER wrote:
Evil,
You couldn't find one that was shaven? Even if it would destroy a womans cervix, they'd still try it but only if it was at least trimmed.
Actually, that IS trimmed. Took like 6 hours, thank-you-very-much.
As for us, to paraphrase our profile a bit, we enjoy friendship and we enjoy sex. We can become friends and even really good friends, and we can have sex without requiring that we all completely build our lives around the friendship. If we are brave and curious and we take a chance, and trust each other enough to become intimate, and we all begin honestly and remain honest, the relationship will just naturally flow where it should. We may enjoy a hot and steamy orgasmic episode or series of episodes together, whether frequent or infrequent, or we may find we all decide to take the time, to make the time to see each other quite often or even always. Such is the adventure, mystery, wonder and joy that stands before us. Nothing ventured nothing gained. It has to flow naturally! Sometimes people may find that they share a lot of common interest, and sometimes they may not. Sometimes people may find that they have schedules that allow them to see each other often and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes people find that they are sexually compatible without compatible schedules, or a lot of other common interest. If the chemistry and trust is there, for us sex is a possibility, even if we neither have compatible schedules, nor share a lot of common interest. Sometimes people may share compatible schedules, common interest and there is no sexual attraction on one or both sides of the equation. Sometimes it all falls together and the relationship becomes something all parties involved, choose to build their lives around. It has to flow naturally.
Swinging is fun but not a quest for us. Swinging and the swing community is not our primary social circle, or the center of our attention....But we like it when we do it! We do however choose to "swing" on occasion, and if you are going to do something do it right. When we swing, we want it to be an ardent and fulfilling experience. You don't get that hanging out with couples not on the same page with one another, or singles or couples that can't be upfront and honest about who they are, or what they want from the experience. So really, people need to be who they are and true to themselves and truthful with others. Swinging might lead us into lasting meaningful friendships and we might have some sexy encounters, with sexy ships passing in the night, and we have found that swinging can lead to both possibilities. We are open to, and enjoy both possibilities.
Yes great friends, that are also lovers, who we can see, enjoy, discover and grow together with, often, is a pretty awesome possibility. Who wouldn't want that?
Swinging is fun but not a quest for us. Swinging and the swing community is not our primary social circle, or the center of our attention....But we like it when we do it! We do however choose to "swing" on occasion, and if you are going to do something do it right. When we swing, we want it to be an ardent and fulfilling experience. You don't get that hanging out with couples not on the same page with one another, or singles or couples that can't be upfront and honest about who they are, or what they want from the experience. So really, people need to be who they are and true to themselves and truthful with others. Swinging might lead us into lasting meaningful friendships and we might have some sexy encounters, with sexy ships passing in the night, and we have found that swinging can lead to both possibilities. We are open to, and enjoy both possibilities.
Yes great friends, that are also lovers, who we can see, enjoy, discover and grow together with, often, is a pretty awesome possibility. Who wouldn't want that?
If honest non monogamous, sexual relationships, between consenting adults, were recognized as normal and healthy, rather than some sort of perverse and negative behavior, friendships could and would just evolve naturally, without any of us needing to live under a label.
We've been in the lifestyle 17+ years, so we have the experience to talk about this subject.
We thought it would be easy to find 3-5 couples with whom to have a FWB friendship with. So our journey first leads to discovering more than half the profiles out there are fake. Because my wife is bi (not curious - not situational - she is 110% bi) we now discover the profiles the husband must write and says the wife is bi but come to find out that's his fantasy and his wife has NO interest in being with another woman. THEN we discover the profiles that state NSA and we move on. With the list dwindling we pass on profiles that state looks are not important (sorry - there has to be an attraction and yes looks are important) and we pass on profiles with couples old enough to be our kids.
Then - distance becomes an issue for some (like us).
It's not easy finding FWB's but when you do find them - hold onto them. When you get older, age is a factor as many in the lifestyle get out after they reach mid to late 60's? The playing field narrows greatly when you over 65. It's the friends you make when you are in your 40's - 50's who will be your FWB's when you get to your 60's.
Good luck in your search. We love the lifestyle and the greatest people we've ever met we've met in the lifestyle. We wouldn't change a thing - other than maybe starting a bit earlier.
We thought it would be easy to find 3-5 couples with whom to have a FWB friendship with. So our journey first leads to discovering more than half the profiles out there are fake. Because my wife is bi (not curious - not situational - she is 110% bi) we now discover the profiles the husband must write and says the wife is bi but come to find out that's his fantasy and his wife has NO interest in being with another woman. THEN we discover the profiles that state NSA and we move on. With the list dwindling we pass on profiles that state looks are not important (sorry - there has to be an attraction and yes looks are important) and we pass on profiles with couples old enough to be our kids.
Then - distance becomes an issue for some (like us).
It's not easy finding FWB's but when you do find them - hold onto them. When you get older, age is a factor as many in the lifestyle get out after they reach mid to late 60's? The playing field narrows greatly when you over 65. It's the friends you make when you are in your 40's - 50's who will be your FWB's when you get to your 60's.
Good luck in your search. We love the lifestyle and the greatest people we've ever met we've met in the lifestyle. We wouldn't change a thing - other than maybe starting a bit earlier.
We'd love to make some like minded people to become friends in and out of the bedroom....apparently it's not an easy thing to do...
SEXYNIGHTMARES wrote:
We'd love to make some like minded people to become friends in and out of the bedroom....apparently it's not an easy thing to do...
Don't get discouraged. It's really not that hard.
Sorry guys, I'm really not whining about not being able to find friends. It's just frustrating that people are flaky (I despise using that word) and just plain fake. Just say what you mean, we are all adults here, and we are playing adult games. If you want to just hit it and forget it, fine, just say so.