Hi,
I am a new member on here. Wife and I are 26 and have a very good relationship, open communication, a lot of confidence and trust in one another.
She has never been a really sexual girl. Growing up, she would masturbate more as a means to relax and go to sleep than to have sexual pleasure. But that was it for her. As we have had dramatic shifts in our religious beliefs recently, we have begun to experiment more sexually. She recently has confided in me that she has begun to fantasize of MFM sex. Which I didn't know what to think before, but now it turns me on like crazy.
However, she never thinks it will happen because she has impossible expectations. It has to a clean guy who we have a good relationship with outside of sex, but then she doesn't want to have sex with a guy who she has a good relationship, which might ruin the relationship. So she wants a relationship before having sex, but that very relationship gets in the way of her wanting to have sex. Catch 22.
There are a lot of other things that make her hesitate at pursuing her fantasy.
My question is: how can I help make this fantasy a reality?
Any advice would be much appreciated!
I am a new member on here. Wife and I are 26 and have a very good relationship, open communication, a lot of confidence and trust in one another.
She has never been a really sexual girl. Growing up, she would masturbate more as a means to relax and go to sleep than to have sexual pleasure. But that was it for her. As we have had dramatic shifts in our religious beliefs recently, we have begun to experiment more sexually. She recently has confided in me that she has begun to fantasize of MFM sex. Which I didn't know what to think before, but now it turns me on like crazy.
However, she never thinks it will happen because she has impossible expectations. It has to a clean guy who we have a good relationship with outside of sex, but then she doesn't want to have sex with a guy who she has a good relationship, which might ruin the relationship. So she wants a relationship before having sex, but that very relationship gets in the way of her wanting to have sex. Catch 22.
There are a lot of other things that make her hesitate at pursuing her fantasy.
My question is: how can I help make this fantasy a reality?
Any advice would be much appreciated!
Communication, Trust, Honesty is a must, & Finding a experienced stable couple is better than finding a single male to help at first. Since finding a experienced stable couple you're not going to lose your wife to the male half. Since they're already fully in there comfort zone of the LS and see no need to destroy a marriage.
When committing to this LS just remember there is no such thing as cheating as long as the communication, trust, & honesty stays in play. Once you start 2nd guessing the other than you've broke the golden rule C>T>H> and no longer believe each other, than you can kiss your marriage good day since once the C>T>H is broke there is no suck thing as a repair button. Been in the LS with this wife 15 years, and the LS for 30 years.
Poet
When committing to this LS just remember there is no such thing as cheating as long as the communication, trust, & honesty stays in play. Once you start 2nd guessing the other than you've broke the golden rule C>T>H> and no longer believe each other, than you can kiss your marriage good day since once the C>T>H is broke there is no suck thing as a repair button. Been in the LS with this wife 15 years, and the LS for 30 years.
Poet
Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee.
EVILDOERS wrote:
Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee.
Damnit! Evildoers is right again!
Its all sound advice since if u move too slow you could never full fill anything but if you move to fast you could destroy everything. But not having a strong c.t.h. between your self's than life its self will sneak up and pass you by while you're still fantasize openly.
Another option that worked well for both of us was attending events where like-minded people were, but there was no sexual playing going on. It is non-threatening and you can both get feel for the kind of people you want to be with. Sometimes there are groups attending comedy clubs, movies, or baseball games.
Do not rush her. Back off, enjoy what is happening now.
Do not rush her. Back off, enjoy what is happening now.
We started with massages in Provo. It progressed from there! Try that 
EVILDOERS wrote:
Personally I think you might be a little too eager (can't blame you, we all were when we started) and pushing just a little too hard to make her fantasy a reality. Rather than trying to find a way to get around the "Catch 22" of her fantasy maybe just explore it more verbally and see if it evolves into some kind of scenario that she is comfortable with that more easily can happen in the real world.
The most successful swingers we know, ourselves included, arrived at where they are by being open and supportive of each other's fantasies and desires without forcing them in any way. In other words, be patient, explore your fantasies verbally and maybe role play, a LOT, with each other before you jump into anything that either of you isn't quite ready for.
You might be surprised as you fantasize openly and honestly how your fantasies might evolve and become something that you eventually can and will make a reality. You know your wife better than anyone and maybe she does need a little nudge but most of the swingers we've known over the years who've crashed and burned did so because one partner pushed the limits too fast and didn't wait for the more hesitant partner to catch up. In our case we were quite surprised and what our fantasies morphed into when we really dug deep and talked about the truly deviant (by local standards anyway-lol) aspects of our fantasies.
Sorry, I know that's probably not the kind of advice you were hoping for but it's been our observation over a rather lengthy swinging career. Another thought, if you're bound and determined to make your first swinging experience a MFM, is to find a guy who is okay with just watching you two play or maybe getting involved in some soft swinging...i.e. back rubs and or touching but no intercourse. We were soft swap for the first year or two of our swinging life and it was great fun and took the pressure off until we were ready to take the next step. Best of luck!
edit- Sorry about what now seems like a long rambling response. In my defense it was pre-coffee.
damn EVIL, I have read most of your responses and there are alot of smart ass comments. this however was not. This helps me and the MRS alot. thank you... BTW love the smart ass comments also..
Mann we miss Utah After Dark parties non sex gathering, soft music so you could talk to others around you. Mostly couples, we did the movies and dinner dates. In time we did the same room, to soft swap, to full swap. If your are bran new to this, CLASSYPASSION is right "Do not rush her. Back off, enjoy what is happening now". I say date couples, do the movie dates.
I can remember our 1st couple they was a blast and a few years older than us. We carried that relationship on few months than we did the same bed sex and advanced to the same bed swap than since the girls was both str8 we did the mfm it while the other watched it was great.
When we came to Swingular we than started seeing single females for me as she watched than when she was ready single males for her while I watched.
In the long run we still enjoy couples over singles since what singles can help with, so can couples and by that time the hall pass idea can come into play with the couples you're seeing. Took us 15 years to get where we are and since we keep true to the C.T.H., and the 3D's rule we had a blast and meet a lot of like minded couples and a few singles. Don't just sit and fantasize openly get out and mingle hook up with couples that send you emails talk abit before sharing your best friend photo's. Be safe and welcome to the Lifestyle.
Poet
almost forgot 3D's= (Drama, Drug, Disease free)
I can remember our 1st couple they was a blast and a few years older than us. We carried that relationship on few months than we did the same bed sex and advanced to the same bed swap than since the girls was both str8 we did the mfm it while the other watched it was great.
When we came to Swingular we than started seeing single females for me as she watched than when she was ready single males for her while I watched.
In the long run we still enjoy couples over singles since what singles can help with, so can couples and by that time the hall pass idea can come into play with the couples you're seeing. Took us 15 years to get where we are and since we keep true to the C.T.H., and the 3D's rule we had a blast and meet a lot of like minded couples and a few singles. Don't just sit and fantasize openly get out and mingle hook up with couples that send you emails talk abit before sharing your best friend photo's. Be safe and welcome to the Lifestyle.
Poet
almost forgot 3D's= (Drama, Drug, Disease free)
Wow! I am really impressed with the amount of activity on swingular. A lot of times, forums like this will be a ghost town, and take days to get a response. Thanks to all of you!
I realize that I have a lot of life ahead of me and a lot of time to work with. I think I just need to be patient and be extra careful exploring her comfort zone. She has shown a willingness to slowly try new things, so its likely a matter of time before we actually try things. I just need to be dependable person she will feel safety in.
Thanks so much everyone! Really good advice!
I realize that I have a lot of life ahead of me and a lot of time to work with. I think I just need to be patient and be extra careful exploring her comfort zone. She has shown a willingness to slowly try new things, so its likely a matter of time before we actually try things. I just need to be dependable person she will feel safety in.
Thanks so much everyone! Really good advice!
Beware, once you do this, she may like it so much, that the next thing you know you are hooking up with couples too, and she starts to really enjoy going down on women.....So there doesn't have to be a down side if you are confident in yourselves and your relationship.
Seriously, we have five kids, all now adults, and we spent two decades happily monogamous. We fantasied about doing this sort of thing but we were so busy doing the family thing and we didn't know any swingers. I met a few people in the lifestyle that invited myself and my wife to a few meet and greets and she really liked the people. We hooked up with a couple one night, also kind of inexperienced, and we had a nice dinner on the town, and good conversation but none of us pulled the lets fuck trigger. Later the next week a guy I knew for some time, who was a long time lifestyle sort, out of the blue invited us over to his place. Well it happened and she loved, loved, loved having both of us ravish her. Next hook up with a couple it happened again and then again and again and again. Yes there have been just a few awkward moments and even a couple of embarrassing moments too, but all in all we have really enjoyed all the wonderful, erotic non monogamy. Yes we are still each others favorite lovers, and we have both had more than a few, and no, absolutely in no way has fucking other people been bad for our relationship. It's not what defines you and it is not a cause but it is a wonderful adventure you two can enjoy together. We have been swinging for well more than a decade now!!
Meet N Greets. Nobody will be playing right there at the event, no automatic expectation that you're there to actually hook up, etc. Don't expect to NOT ever get approached by anyone, but the expectation that you're there to play, like there is at most house parties and many other swinger events, won't be the case at a Meet N Greet. You can meet and get to know people just like you would at any vanilla gathering, except that you'll know that the people you meet either are or have a desire to be in the lifestyle. As for that catch 22, don't worry about it. Yeah, hooking up with a vanilla friend or friends would likely have some impact on the friendship one way or another, likely not a good one. And it could even be dangerous, depending on how important it is to your life that people in general don't know you swing (assuming that you eventually do swing, that is). But your wife will find that ending up playing with people you've become friends with is pretty unlikely to ruin the friendship when those people are swingers.
I've always viewed exploring each others fantasies similar to a tandem rock climb. We both motivate each other to reach our goal but neither one of us can go any further than the other can. The most important thing is to stay supportive of each other and move at a comfortable pace.
Give him time and he'll be doing this like we do and thanking all for the good advise.
[quote=POET_RAYL]Communication, Trust, Honesty is a must, & Finding a experienced stable couple is better than finding a single male to help at first. Since finding a experienced stable couple you're not going to lose your wife to the male half. Since they're already fully in there comfort zone of the LS and see no need to destroy a marriage.
Maybe I read REPETE89 post differently than you. But as he stated, "My question is: how can I help make this fantasy a reality?" I was unaware that you should find a couple instead of a single male for a MFM because "you're not going to lose your wife to the male half, will paraphrase your next point, couple sees no need to destroy a marriage, am assuming you meant unlike a single male. Then you go on to comment on your post two more times, followed up with your meme and with the best advice, "Give him time and he'll be doing this like we do and thanking all for the good advise. Give who time, his post was referring to his wife, not him, you absolutely put the cherry on top with ending with advise.
There was some great advice to REPETE89, focusing on his question. Posting on forum is not like using conditioner. Your posts were as lazy as you not using the spell check button on your posts.
Maybe I read REPETE89 post differently than you. But as he stated, "My question is: how can I help make this fantasy a reality?" I was unaware that you should find a couple instead of a single male for a MFM because "you're not going to lose your wife to the male half, will paraphrase your next point, couple sees no need to destroy a marriage, am assuming you meant unlike a single male. Then you go on to comment on your post two more times, followed up with your meme and with the best advice, "Give him time and he'll be doing this like we do and thanking all for the good advise. Give who time, his post was referring to his wife, not him, you absolutely put the cherry on top with ending with advise.
There was some great advice to REPETE89, focusing on his question. Posting on forum is not like using conditioner. Your posts were as lazy as you not using the spell check button on your posts.
DEEPMOAN wrote:
not using the spell check button on your posts.
when I mouse over I get save,load,Bold,italic,underline,picture,video,link,color,big-normal-small, bulleted,numeric,list item,left-center-right-justify,quotes,code,css,preview, Don't see a spell check Icon so quit busting my balls.
POET_RAYL wrote:DEEPMOAN wrote:
not using the spell check button on your posts.
when I mouse over I get save,load,Bold,italic,underline,picture,video,link,color,big-normal-small, bulleted,numeric,list item,left-center-right-justify,quotes,code,css,preview, Don't see a spell check Icon so quit busting my balls.
guess what CSS stands for, click it for a whole new world.
BOUND2YOU wrote:
I've always viewed exploring each others fantasies similar to a tandem rock climb. We both motivate each other to reach our goal but neither one of us can go any further than the other can. The most important thing is to stay supportive of each other and move at a comfortable pace.
Great simile...especially in the context of swinging and more specifically, swinging as a couple. Kudos.
The 'Doers
DEEPMOAN wrote:POET_RAYL wrote:
[quote=DEEPMOAN]
not using the spell check button on your posts.
when I mouse over I get save,load,Bold,italic,underline,picture,video,link,color,big-normal-small, bulleted,numeric,list item,left-center-right-justify,quotes,code,css,preview, Don't see a spell check Icon so quit busting my balls.
guess what CSS stands for, click it for a whole new world.[/quote]
Okay, DEEP, you need to come help me clean coffee off my keyboard!
Evil,
Collage educated wife is sitting next to me and she didn't know what css meant so my bad, but it seams Deep just flat up don't like a blunt uneducated person like myself.
Sorry I didn't have 3 squares a day a roof over my head and a nice school to attend while growing up.
Poet
Collage educated wife is sitting next to me and she didn't know what css meant so my bad, but it seams Deep just flat up don't like a blunt uneducated person like myself.
Sorry I didn't have 3 squares a day a roof over my head and a nice school to attend while growing up.
Poet
Back to the subject at hand. Well almost. This picture is a threesome. Which is what you and your wife are fantasizing about. Two people having sex is a twosome. So what does it really mean if someone says you are handsome?
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Back to the subject at hand. Well almost. This picture is a threesome. Which is what you and your wife are fantasizing about. Two people having sex is a twosome. So what does it really mean if someone says you are handsome?
If this is your way of getting us "back on track", please do it more often!!
The wife and I are brand new to the LS. When I say brand new I mean like last week, met a couple, talked for hours and had two full days of mind numbing sex with them. I realize this is so not the norm for beginners!
We started with role - playing. Watched 3some and 4some movies. Went to Blue Boutique in Sugarhouse and got some toys. She was wondering about her sexuality and wanted to be with a woman but wanted the comfort of me being there. Once we started talking to this other couple she started to open up more about what she wanted. What was an innocent meeting for coffee turned into .... WOW!!! We jumped feet first into the pool and decided to swim and really enjoyed it. This technique is not recommended at all but it worked for us.
I will tell that our biggest fear together was how we would react personally watching our other half being fucked by another person. For her we found she is quite the voyeur. For him it turns out he is quite the exhibitionist. I think it has been said already but find a couple you can feel comfortable with. Meet, talk about your hangups and apprehensions. Live, learn, and above all never stop talkig or communicating. This lifestyle has no room for lies, or hiding from each other. Good luck to you both and may you find happiness in whatever you are looking for.
We started with role - playing. Watched 3some and 4some movies. Went to Blue Boutique in Sugarhouse and got some toys. She was wondering about her sexuality and wanted to be with a woman but wanted the comfort of me being there. Once we started talking to this other couple she started to open up more about what she wanted. What was an innocent meeting for coffee turned into .... WOW!!! We jumped feet first into the pool and decided to swim and really enjoyed it. This technique is not recommended at all but it worked for us.
I will tell that our biggest fear together was how we would react personally watching our other half being fucked by another person. For her we found she is quite the voyeur. For him it turns out he is quite the exhibitionist. I think it has been said already but find a couple you can feel comfortable with. Meet, talk about your hangups and apprehensions. Live, learn, and above all never stop talkig or communicating. This lifestyle has no room for lies, or hiding from each other. Good luck to you both and may you find happiness in whatever you are looking for.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Back to the subject at hand. Well almost. This picture is a threesome. Which is what you and your wife are fantasizing about. Two people having sex is a twosome. So what does it really mean if someone says you are handsome?
Funny how when it's two women and one man, both women are shown pleasing the man; and when it's two men and a woman, the woman is shown pleasing both men. Almost as though the aim of any sex act involving a man is primarily his pleasure.
CHEFFETTE wrote:DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Back to the subject at hand. Well almost. This picture is a threesome. Which is what you and your wife are fantasizing about. Two people having sex is a twosome. So what does it really mean if someone says you are handsome?
Funny how when it's two women and one man, both women are shown pleasing the man; and when it's two men and a woman, the woman is shown pleasing both men. Almost as though the aim of any sex act involving a man is primarily his pleasure.
the look of pleasure on her face would tell me she is rather pleased. The wife and I would like a chance to please you! (how come in all seriousness that still sounds taunting? Promise not meant to be :|)
Or you can always try reverse psychology and tell her you don't want to do it!
Your text to link here...
Your text to link here...
My wife also has a fantasy that we're hoping you guys can help US with. She would like a young, fit, super hot, twenty something billionaire...but not one of those that wants to whip the shit out of her, the nice kind that isn't an egotistical controlling asshole. If y'all could help us fulfill this fantasy and have the dude tucked in her stocking by late Xmas Eve that would be great.
Something like this where the females get more pleasure than the man?
POET_RAYL wrote:
Something like this where the females get more pleasure than the man?
One of the greats
Cheffette,
Not going to argue with you that the previous photo is not what a MFM is mostly about. Pornography is usually a bit different than what really happens. Some women don't have orgasms as easily as others. Really orgasmic women, like Mrs. Delicious, have a hard time concentrating on doing oral sex once the orgasms start, so really the men are the ones more or less performing, all the while enjoying her full body response to their attentions, or we men end up taking turns. That is how it goes for the two of us and the single male playmate we have included. In looking at pictures like the one we previously posted, Mrs. Delicious would define it as what might happen in transition from foreplay. For a woman that perhaps requires just the right simulations both physical and mental to let a less frequent but oh so delightful orgasm take hold and shake her to her very depths, here again two men focusing on her is more likely what really happens. MFM done right is mostly about the woman, at least physically. The extreme measure of eroticism, just being around a beautiful woman, in full rapture, is an overwhelming experience for any man. Gentlemen know it is a privilege to enjoy such exquisite pleasures.
Well it's back up to the white powder mountains for today! Check in with you all later.
Not going to argue with you that the previous photo is not what a MFM is mostly about. Pornography is usually a bit different than what really happens. Some women don't have orgasms as easily as others. Really orgasmic women, like Mrs. Delicious, have a hard time concentrating on doing oral sex once the orgasms start, so really the men are the ones more or less performing, all the while enjoying her full body response to their attentions, or we men end up taking turns. That is how it goes for the two of us and the single male playmate we have included. In looking at pictures like the one we previously posted, Mrs. Delicious would define it as what might happen in transition from foreplay. For a woman that perhaps requires just the right simulations both physical and mental to let a less frequent but oh so delightful orgasm take hold and shake her to her very depths, here again two men focusing on her is more likely what really happens. MFM done right is mostly about the woman, at least physically. The extreme measure of eroticism, just being around a beautiful woman, in full rapture, is an overwhelming experience for any man. Gentlemen know it is a privilege to enjoy such exquisite pleasures.
Well it's back up to the white powder mountains for today! Check in with you all later.
EVILDOERS wrote:
My wife also has a fantasy that we're hoping you guys can help US with. She would like a young, fit, super hot, twenty something billionaire...but not one of those that wants to whip the shit out of her, the nice kind that isn't an egotistical controlling asshole. If y'all could help us fulfill this fantasy and have the dude tucked in her stocking by late Xmas Eve that would be great.
Evil,
I'd be happy to fulfill this fantasy for you as long as you can compromise on a few things, really not much of a change from what was asked:
Not young
Not as fit as I could be
Not super hot
Twenty something X3
a bit short on the $$billionaire
However, I'm not an egotistical asshole and if Mrs. Evil really wants me wearing a stocking, I'm game.
And Merry Xmas to you
POET_RAYL wrote:
Something like this where the females get more pleasure than the man?
No, not even close.
MYOHMY wrote:
Please feel free to show us a photo that better incorporates your viewpoint.
Not easy to share from my phone while I'm at work...
There's nearly 400 posts that fit my bill.
CHEFFETTE wrote:DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Back to the subject at hand. Well almost. This picture is a threesome. Which is what you and your wife are fantasizing about. Two people having sex is a twosome. So what does it really mean if someone says you are handsome?
Funny how when it's two women and one man, both women are shown pleasing the man; and when it's two men and a woman, the woman is shown pleasing both men. Almost as though the aim of any sex act involving a man is primarily his pleasure.
I would contend that most sex acts are mutually pleasuring. I, Mr. Pants, find cunnilingus the most exciting and fulfilling part of sex. Nothing does it for me more than going down on Mrs. pants. Now, from an outsider's perspective, one would think she is getting all the pleasure, and I am doing all the work. That's just not so. So I am pretty certain that photos cannot possibly show just one gender being pleasured. Sex is mutually pleasing. Unless sex is a power game where you are jockeying for dominance. Who would want to have sex with someone like that? That sounds nightmarish. Sex to me, and to most people is about sharing pleasure with another person and 50% of the pleasure is satisfying your partner.
I have to agree with evildoer...
Take your time, communicate and develope lasting friendshios before going balls deep into this. We all have our fantasies and our expectations. We have learned that expectations get you no where. But having confidence and following the simple rules of reassurance with ine another, communicatiin trust and honest. The "expectations and fantasies come to life. Feel free to reach out to us we are always looking for friends around our age.. best of luck to you both.
Take your time, communicate and develope lasting friendshios before going balls deep into this. We all have our fantasies and our expectations. We have learned that expectations get you no where. But having confidence and following the simple rules of reassurance with ine another, communicatiin trust and honest. The "expectations and fantasies come to life. Feel free to reach out to us we are always looking for friends around our age.. best of luck to you both.
I have to agree with evildoer...
Take your time, communicate and develope lasting friendshios before going balls deep into this. We all have our fantasies and our expectations. We have learned that expectations get you no where. But having confidence and following the simple rules of reassurance with ine another, communicatiin trust and honest. The "expectations and fantasies come to life. Feel free to reach out to us we are always looking for friends around our age.. best of luck to you both.
Take your time, communicate and develope lasting friendshios before going balls deep into this. We all have our fantasies and our expectations. We have learned that expectations get you no where. But having confidence and following the simple rules of reassurance with ine another, communicatiin trust and honest. The "expectations and fantasies come to life. Feel free to reach out to us we are always looking for friends around our age.. best of luck to you both.
A MFM threesome should be about what that Lady wants in the way of pleasure. That might be just what she wants, not your idea of a MFM per say but it should be all about her needs and wants what ever it may be. Her day her rules. Just our .02
leenpete wrote:
Hi,
I am a new member on here. Wife and I are 26 and have a very good relationship, open communication, a lot of confidence and trust in one another.
She has never been a really sexual girl. Growing up, she would masturbate more as a means to relax and go to sleep than to have sexual pleasure. But that was it for her. As we have had dramatic shifts in our religious beliefs recently, we have begun to experiment more sexually. She recently has confided in me that she has begun to fantasize of MFM sex. Which I didn't know what to think before, but now it turns me on like crazy.
However, she never thinks it will happen because she has impossible expectations. It has to a clean guy who we have a good relationship with outside of sex, but then she doesn't want to have sex with a guy who she has a good relationship, which might ruin the relationship. So she wants a relationship before having sex, but that very relationship gets in the way of her wanting to have sex. Catch 22.
There are a lot of other things that make her hesitate at pursuing her fantasy.
My question is: how can I help make this fantasy a reality?
Any advice would be much appreciated!
As long as all parties are consenting adults, I don’t see any expectation as impossible or unrealistic for the lifestyle. Sure it might take awhile to find the perfect fit for some, but that might make it all that much more magical. I know we aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but if you/her would like to take a look at our profile and send us a message if interested, that would be cool. If not, no hard feelings.
Professional counseling from a NON MORMON...
BTW...congratulations on leaving the "church"
BTW...congratulations on leaving the "church"
Have you guys ever tried both getting on kik and having a four way conversation with another couple? My wife likes to get to know the other couple before we meet and it really helps out a lot! You get to know the other couple and flirt for awhile and it starts to slowly build a relationship with each other, no private conversations and it gets all people involved in the chat. We have been fairly successful and that could be a contributing factor of it.
Fantasizing in bed is great. Tell her what your fantasy would be while you have sex, if she is comfortable, have her share one. Find some hot literotica and share or read together. KIK is an option further down the road, but is risky because lots of weirdos, many of which move waaaaay too fast with the naughty talk. In our experience, the friendship definitely helps. If a stranger, there tends to be a bit of reservation and holding back a bit. And with the friendship, it doesnt have to be ‘tailgate buddies’ or every-other-weekend barbecue get togethers, it can just be someone you msg with who is respectful of you both, who isnt pushy, but stays in contact, not just with sex talk but with a “hope your day went well...” kind if stuff.
I assume that the misses is also reading this blog. If not, I think most of us would say she should. There has been some good advice given and what you will eventually find out is that women are really the key to this lifestyle. I personally think she ought to talk with some other women, that are her age etc and in the lifestyle, on a face to face basis. So consider trying this. The two of you can take control by going to meetups on this site and make a post. Mark it just-hang-No sex and ask for couples near your own age. Then see who wants to connect. Examine the profiles of those that respond and that will give you some idea of who may be of interest to you. The way it works is, if you make the post you also get to make the rules. You can then then talk as couples or the ladies can have a pedicure or lunch etc without commitments to any thing else.
Book some time with Dr. Cari Oneal - Lifestyle/Sex Positive Sexologist who can work with her to break through her cultural programing and help normalize healthy sexual expression for a lifetime.