Old profile was gingerg
Wow - seems harsh to cut off a friendship just because they split. I've been thru 2 divorces. The 1st time our swinger friends stayed friends with both of us regardless who we were with (she stayed in the LS for awhile). The 2nd wife decided to leave the lifestyle. We had vanilla friends who felt they had to choose between us for some strange reason instead of staying friends with both of us but none of my LS friends felt it necessary to choose. They stayed friends & readily accepted my new friend. Maybe real friends choose to accept you thru all the bumps in life rather than just the good times?
We completely agree with Nasty; if we played regularly with a couple and they split up, we would still be friends with both, but any "extra-curricular activities" would be out of the picture out of respect for both parties. We feel it's a matter of respect, we wouldn't want to play favorites and ruin whatever friendship we have with the other, just because we decided we enjoyed playing with one more than the other. Unless of course they still 'played' together (we have known a few people that broke up but still played in the LS together because they just felt safe with the other rather than being alone.) We do understand what you are saying HB, and we wouldn't just cut off all ties with the couple just because they broke up.
Humm - guess I got confused. Thus if I went to church and got divorced, my church "friends" should no longer pray with me - out of respect? And my hiking club "friends" should no longer welcome me to hike with them? And my motorcycle club "friends" should refuse to ride with me any longer? Thus the rational that all my sex club "friends" should now tell me they no longer want to play? Well, why didn't I see that?
We know just a few couples that were swingers that got divorced and we know of many others. We have only played with one married couple that since that time got divorced. We have not played with either one of them since their break up but frankly we did not even talk about it as to whether we would or wouldn't due to the change in their marital status. We have not had to address the issue. We are not sure either one of the two are still in the lifestyle.
We think that such decisions are more a case by case sort of thing than a black and white decision but in everything there is a direction you initially lean toward. We would think it might be difficult to continue playing with either half of their former couple equation. If there was even the slightest of slight chance that it would hurt the feelings of either half we would refrain. There are probably couples that may have decided to part ways that really do wish each other joy and happiness in everything including sex and swinging.
We think that such decisions are more a case by case sort of thing than a black and white decision but in everything there is a direction you initially lean toward. We would think it might be difficult to continue playing with either half of their former couple equation. If there was even the slightest of slight chance that it would hurt the feelings of either half we would refrain. There are probably couples that may have decided to part ways that really do wish each other joy and happiness in everything including sex and swinging.
HONEYBUNZ wrote:
Humm - guess I got confused. Thus if I went to church and got divorced, my church "friends" should no longer pray with me - out of respect? And my hiking club "friends" should no longer welcome me to hike with them? And my motorcycle club "friends" should refuse to ride with me any longer? Thus the rational that all my sex club "friends" should now tell me they no longer want to play? Well, why didn't I see that?
Apples to Oranges.. as usual, people try and throw completely different situations into the mix to make their point seem valid. When a couple has a relationship (sexual relationship) with another couple. It would make sense that when the other couples ceases to be, so then should the relationship. It makes it uncomfortable, and in this lifestyle being comfortable is key.
I'll have to raise the bullshit flag here- if the former Ms. Gingerg had posted about splitting up with Cole and how Cole deleted everything and she wanted to reconnect with old friends, her inbox would be lit up like the 4th of July.
Welcome to the land of being a single male.
Welcome to the land of being a single male.
DuskRider wrote:
I'll have to raise the bullshit flag here- if the former Ms. Gingerg had posted about splitting up with Cole and how Cole deleted everything and she wanted to reconnect with old friends, her inbox would be lit up like the 4th of July.
Welcome to the land of being a single male.
LOL im in agreement with you !
MMM_MANDA wrote:
I agree with Buzz.
"YAY" LOL
I was originally with a very nice lady on here and she moved on and got married. Now I am an outcast but I still come here because I like the people so much.
HONEYBUNZ wrote:Great what ifs.....if you have an actual sexual relationship with a couple and an actual relationship not just a one night stand it would seem a bit awkward and we would cut off all playtime. Never did we say we would stop having a friendship or hanging out with them, just that the naked fun time would be nixxed. In all honesty having the expectation to continue the same relationship with a couple that you had when you were with your partner is overly diluted. If you are saying people don't act differently when you are going through a breakup then either your friends deserve an Oscar or you just didn't notice because you were focusing on bettering yourself and moving on (and that is not a bad thing.) People do act slightly different when they initially meet a couple that breaks up. What if one wanted nothing to do with the other? How awkward would it be to have a barbecue or party and they both show up and start a Jerry Springer party, sorry but we can leave that drama to television.
Humm - guess I got confused. Thus if I went to church and got divorced, my church "friends" should no longer pray with me - out of respect? And my hiking club "friends" should no longer welcome me to hike with them? And my motorcycle club "friends" should refuse to ride with me any longer? Thus the rational that all my sex club "friends" should now tell me they no longer want to play? Well, why didn't I see that?
JADEANDJAY wrote:HONEYBUNZ wrote:Great what ifs.....if you have an actual sexual relationship with a couple and an actual relationship not just a one night stand it would seem a bit awkward and we would cut off all playtime. Never did we say we would stop having a friendship or hanging out with them, just that the naked fun time would be nixxed. In all honesty having the expectation to continue the same relationship with a couple that you had when you were with your partner is overly diluted. If you are saying people don't act differently when you are going through a breakup then either your friends deserve an Oscar or you just didn't notice because you were focusing on bettering yourself and moving on (and that is not a bad thing.) People do act slightly different when they initially meet a couple that breaks up. What if one wanted nothing to do with the other? How awkward would it be to have a barbecue or party and they both show up and start a Jerry Springer party, sorry but we can leave that drama to television.
Humm - guess I got confused. Thus if I went to church and got divorced, my church "friends" should no longer pray with me - out of respect? And my hiking club "friends" should no longer welcome me to hike with them? And my motorcycle club "friends" should refuse to ride with me any longer? Thus the rational that all my sex club "friends" should now tell me they no longer want to play? Well, why didn't I see that?
They've got a point. And, being a single male, I'd say in the majority of cases, the girl will get more of the sympathy. And let's face it, IF a couple plays with either one of the former couple, it will be the female. The desire for males is little to none.
Funny joke, a girl told me: I know a website where YOU can get TONS of sex? Adult friend finder!
I can see why youde cut off friendship...
Not to sound harsh either but staying friends with a split couple you become a middle man.
youde usually have to pick just 1 to stay friends with and thats to hard so you have to give up both
Been seing alot of swingers split up.
Some because they got to close to another couple and made the swap long lasting...
[quote=COLEH]Old profile was gingerg
Not to sound harsh either but staying friends with a split couple you become a middle man.
youde usually have to pick just 1 to stay friends with and thats to hard so you have to give up both
Been seing alot of swingers split up.
Some because they got to close to another couple and made the swap long lasting...
[quote=COLEH]Old profile was gingerg
We would not play with either of the couple if they were divorced. We became swingers so we can play as a couple with another couple. We don't entertain single male or female for the reason we do not want one of us to be playing while the other watches. We would still be "vanilla" with both if they are still in the lifestyle but would treat them like all other singles in the lifestyle when it comes to playtime.
DuskRider wrote:
[quote=JEFFSMITH1972]I'll have to raise the bullshit flag here- if the former Ms. Gingerg had posted about splitting up with Cole and how Cole deleted everything and she wanted to reconnect with old friends, her inbox would be lit up like the 4th of July.
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
Welcome to the land of being a single male.
Here we go... single males making this about them and their struggle in the LS. You poor, poor guys. Tell you what DuskRider, we've been around a while and have had three sets of friends split up. Guess what, even though the "now single" males AND single females have asked for continued play, we were able to resist the great 'temptation' and not play with the single women. Also, it is hard to stay friends with either, as with a divorce, they both seem to hate each other and want to bad mouth the other when with us. It is not all about the sex.
Thanks CNTRLCPL:
Apples to Oranges.. as usual, people try and throw completely different situations into the mix to make their point seem valid.
I was just about to call a "Pot-Kettle-Black" on HONEYBUNZ but I liked your response better :-) It's couples (and single men - AKA "USERFRIENDLY") like him that make people want to leave the lifestyle!
Without endings in all things there can be no present moment, for the last moment has to end to make the next one possible. Relationships and life itself are made up of moments. Who knows what and who may yet come into any of our lives? Perhaps it is best to give up trying to define ourselves and others in such structured form that we fail to swim together in a sea full of possibilities. Fly together in a sky that is full of more wonder than we can ever fully understand. Dance on the earth together in a celebration of shared unique expressions beyond our ability to measure, which never really hold their form yet give birth, endlessly, to the next moment. Can we fully enjoy making love with anyone we hold captive? Can the defining of others be a form of self imposed captivity? Who can define a moment? Who can capture a moment? To fully be there in the moment is so hard to do when definitions impose expectations, and once captured in expectation the moments came and vanished and we never saw the gifts they held before they were gone.
Or as Sir Newby puts "Regardless of your status and responses here, horny, lusty women are all around you."
Or as Sir Newby puts "Regardless of your status and responses here, horny, lusty women are all around you."
CNTRLCPL wrote:
Here we go... single males making this about them and their struggle in the LS. You poor, poor guys. Tell you what DuskRider, we've been around a while and have had three sets of friends split up. Guess what, even though the "now single" males AND single females have asked for continued play, we were able to resist the great 'temptation' and not play with the single women. Also, it is hard to stay friends with either, as with a divorce, they both seem to hate each other and want to bad mouth the other when with us. It is not all about the sex.
Since your profile states you're not looking for single women, I'm happy for you that you managed to avoid the temptation of playing with the newly single female. Interesting that you failed to include the newly single men in that statement?
And I can tell you Cntrlcpl, I've been around the lifestyle long enough to see dozens of couples split up. Some of them are bitter and suck to be around. Others are much happier. But it's far more common for the female half to get the "Swinger friends" in the divorce, and continue their involvement in the lifestyle.
And while your pity is great, I don't struggle with the LifeStyle, so you can save it for someone else
