We brought this idea up in the past but never really moved forward with it as we were focused on redesigning the website at the time. However, we are going through our list of to-dos and saw this entry.
We thought we'd bring it up again and ask if anyone thinks it would be a good idea.
One of the issues we always see that comes up in discussions involves the whole single male world. As a business, single males are a huge part of what makes a site successful yet they get the worst of it all, and we all know why. There are tons of couples who seek out single men so we wanted to put something together that would cater to the single male. We've racked our brains and came up with a 'Certified Single Male' program. What it does is allows single men to take an 'online' course per se, that educates them on the swinger world and how to deal with couples, etc... They then take an online 'quiz.' If they pass, they must agree to some rules, terms and conditions as well as get verified. They then become a Certified Single Male with a certification symbol applied to their profile.
Even though the test isn't a true test as it can be easily passed, it gives the single male information that they may have not known previously. The certification program wouldn't be a seal of approval to actually meet, that would be something you would have to conclude yourself.
This is just an idea so we want to hear your thoughts as well.
We thought we'd bring it up again and ask if anyone thinks it would be a good idea.
One of the issues we always see that comes up in discussions involves the whole single male world. As a business, single males are a huge part of what makes a site successful yet they get the worst of it all, and we all know why. There are tons of couples who seek out single men so we wanted to put something together that would cater to the single male. We've racked our brains and came up with a 'Certified Single Male' program. What it does is allows single men to take an 'online' course per se, that educates them on the swinger world and how to deal with couples, etc... They then take an online 'quiz.' If they pass, they must agree to some rules, terms and conditions as well as get verified. They then become a Certified Single Male with a certification symbol applied to their profile.
Even though the test isn't a true test as it can be easily passed, it gives the single male information that they may have not known previously. The certification program wouldn't be a seal of approval to actually meet, that would be something you would have to conclude yourself.
This is just an idea so we want to hear your thoughts as well.
That is an awesome idea...maybe you could incorporate some sort of "reference" system too...I think giving that helpful info is a great idea and will help with distinguishing the good ones from the ones who give them a bad name 
Good thoughts, but I think the certification would not have real meaning in this case. Let people work out the relationships for themselves.
I don't have a problem with it. Would be very helpful to the couples.
22HARDBOD22 wrote:
Zzzzzzzz, I already went to college.
You might have and may be a great person, but there are some out there who are so blatantly oblivious as to etiquette and manners that could a quick lesson in how to make being a single male in the lifestyle work for you and couple really hurt??
NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:A reference system is a good idea, kind of like the comments on the profile. Or is the comments on the profile the same thing?
That is an awesome idea...maybe you could incorporate some sort of "reference" system too...I think giving that helpful info is a great idea and will help with distinguishing the good ones from the ones who give them a bad name
There are some plus and minus points to the idea. First, as a business, would it increase your bottom line more than it would cost to run the program? The second question is: who would find it of benefit and do people tell the truth in their profile?
The education side might be helpful and a certification would at least say that they have read the required material. But that does not mean that they would take it to heart. It could be done with a rating system like stars. But then the new members would be at a further disadvantage and it is rough enough making friends out there for those that want to commit to this lifestyle.
I think it would be nice if there were a way to separate men that believe in the lifestyle from those that are here just to fuck. Some couples seem to prefer one over the other (at least the blogs seem to say this) so I do not see a problem with a separate male designation just as we use straight and bi now. But I have met men that lie on that one and are in the closet so to speak. Something along the line of verification of physical condition and personality like the VIP program might work also. There is a west coast group that has what they call the ten commandments of swinging that might be worked into such a program. Over all I think it has merits if done correctly.
The education side might be helpful and a certification would at least say that they have read the required material. But that does not mean that they would take it to heart. It could be done with a rating system like stars. But then the new members would be at a further disadvantage and it is rough enough making friends out there for those that want to commit to this lifestyle.
I think it would be nice if there were a way to separate men that believe in the lifestyle from those that are here just to fuck. Some couples seem to prefer one over the other (at least the blogs seem to say this) so I do not see a problem with a separate male designation just as we use straight and bi now. But I have met men that lie on that one and are in the closet so to speak. Something along the line of verification of physical condition and personality like the VIP program might work also. There is a west coast group that has what they call the ten commandments of swinging that might be worked into such a program. Over all I think it has merits if done correctly.
22HARDBOD22 wrote:You'd be surprised to learn how many single men do not know the first thing when it comes to the lifestyle. A little education to further benefit them and their chances doesn't hurt anyone. Maybe a test at the end isn't necessary but agreeing that you read the information and understand it is a better way. Whatever the system, it can only be a good thing.
Zzzzzzzz, I already went to college.
SEAKINGHER wrote:Yeah, as I said previously, the program isn't something you would use to make a final determination about a person. It's mostly to know that the person in question has taken the time to 'at least' read about the etiquette for single men in the lifestyle. Something they may have not thought about before. It's just one more tool in their arsenal.
There are some plus and minus points to the idea.
Think about it. I'm a single male, new to the lifestyle. I join this site and think I can have my way with any woman because that's what they are here for, right? So I start sending emails with pictures of my dick saying, 'let's fuck!.' It doesn't help me any, yet truly, I'm a genuinely good guy. I end up wasting my time and every one elses.
Now then I notice this Single Male Certification program. It says it's an additional tool to help me meet people. Why not, let's check it out. Things can't get any worse, right.
So I read up on all this stuff I didn't know about before and I kind of understand it a little better now. So now my approach changes. I may not get any more hook ups out of it, but I sure the hell have a better chance now.
If the program didn't exist, I may have not known that there was etiquette involved in the first place.
Does that make more sense?
I saw we give them a reading comprehension test. They have to look at a mock profile and then answer questions about what the person said they're looking for and whether or not it would be appropriate to send them a "hey baby. lets fuck" email followed by a "oh you said no? well fuck you bitch i wouldn't touch you with a 50 ft pole if someone paid me too" email. lulz.
ADMINISTRATOR wrote:NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:A reference system is a good idea, kind of like the comments on the profile. Or is the comments on the profile the same thing?
That is an awesome idea...maybe you could incorporate some sort of "reference" system too...I think giving that helpful info is a great idea and will help with distinguishing the good ones from the ones who give them a bad name
I guess it probably is the same isn't it lol
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:
I saw we give them a reading comprehension test. They have to look at a mock profile and then answer questions about what the person said they're looking for and whether or not it would be appropriate to send them a "hey baby. lets fuck" email followed by a "oh you said no? well fuck you bitch i wouldn't touch you with a 50 ft pole if someone paid me too" email. lulz.
omg...that is a great idea, I think anyway lol
22HARDBOD22 wrote:
Its just single males, being singled out again. What? single males are the only ones with no etiquette and manners? I dont think a course is going to change any bad apples, and kinda offensive to us good ones.
The good single males that I know would have no problem with this...and as far as being "singled out"...well this is where all the controversy seems to be so I think it's great admin is trying to find a way to make it better
Have you hacked into some of our messages, Hello_kitty? ;-)
22HARDBOD22 wrote:Most of those bad apples you speak of are uneducated about the lifestyle and may not know what they are doing is wrong. It just takes a few of them to cause a member to Block Single Males and you all lose. With education, you can probably eliminate quite a few of those bad apples. It won't solve the problem completely but it sure can help.
Its just single males, being singled out again. What? single males are the only ones with no etiquette and manners? I dont think a course is going to change any bad apples, and kinda offensive to us good ones.
22HARDBOD22 wrote:
Its just single males, being singled out again. What? single males are the only ones with no etiquette and manners? I dont think a course is going to change any bad apples, and kinda offensive to us good ones.
If you're one of the good ones, you wouldn't mind surfing thru a quick "test" and list of tips on etiquette to get the certified thing on your profile. Just saying.
Now if you wanna get offensive, I could petition that we put a big page up as you sign into the site that lists the good seeds on one side and the bad seeds on the other.
Yeah, I don't see how this would single anyone out. It just says that you took the time be informed.
ORALODYSSEY wrote:So true, however couples don't have a problem with initial contact with others, single men do. The idea behind the program is to help single men get that initial contact.
Just a thought.... From being a previous single male and now a couple on the site, I would have to say there are almost as many couples that need a little education when it comes to lifestyle etiquette. Probably might be good to have a certification for all so that no one group is singled out and made to feel like the only group that does bad things or handles situations the wrong way. This way it won't "seem" to single out single males.....
The folowing email was received by a single male just today. (Read from bottom up. I added capitalized comments) My profile specifically requests that single males do not contact me, I will contact them. This happens constantly. And single males wonder why they have a bad rap. I doubt that certification would stop this. I actually find it more humourous than maddening. I really don't want to block single males as there is that one in a hundred that is worth knowing. But, for the most part single males absolutley need some training.
====================================================
im a little more then 7 long ______ HIS RESPONSE
------Original Message------
Are you dense? _________ MY RESPONSE
------Original Message------
right now?? ___________ HIS FIRST EMAIL
Subject: Wann Hook up ____________ SUBJECT LINE
====================================================
im a little more then 7 long ______ HIS RESPONSE
------Original Message------
Are you dense? _________ MY RESPONSE
------Original Message------
right now?? ___________ HIS FIRST EMAIL
Subject: Wann Hook up ____________ SUBJECT LINE
How about a little star system. Give each couple 5 stars. After a couple has a good experience with a single male they will be allowed to place a tiny star on the males profile. If it was a bad experience, then they would not want to use a star. Set up the program where the same couple could not give the same male more than one star. Additionally, limit the total number of stars a single may have to 5 stars. That would tell other couples this male has proven to be not only good in bed, but has the manners and etiquette they would expect from others. Too keep if fair, give each single male and female 5 checkmarks to be used the same way. That would actually indicate which couples do in fact receive single into their swinging. No one would know who placed the star(s) on a profile, but it would indicate a better quality encounter. New singles would just have to earn the stars like the rest of us did, by being the type of person who would get invited back again.
Allright, I have a bit of a problem with the "single males" tag. I know people speak while biting their tongue but to read:
it kinda makes this thread seem like another single male bashing by some. Only a couple have provided positive additional ideas and several have provided positive favor.
I have known many assholes in my day and not all were single males but I will say that many are. If a program such as this were to fly then the Admin would have to be on top of it (as I'm sure they would) because I know that there will be many who will be devious and once again spoil the reputation of the (s-word) males.
UTAHSEXY wrote:
But, for the most part single males absolutley need some training.
it kinda makes this thread seem like another single male bashing by some. Only a couple have provided positive additional ideas and several have provided positive favor.
I have known many assholes in my day and not all were single males but I will say that many are. If a program such as this were to fly then the Admin would have to be on top of it (as I'm sure they would) because I know that there will be many who will be devious and once again spoil the reputation of the (s-word) males.
This site has WAY too many single males. We had to block them from contacting us (Why should we have to do that?). They need to change the title of the website to Singular.
I like the suggestion of a test to become certified. May I suggest another option? Maybe there could be something similar to VIP where the SM can only receive the certificate, prize, or medal through recommendation of a couple or SF. This would make it so that only real men who were polite to the couple or SF would receive the honor. This could be a little bit better than a comment, since many couples don't like putting comments on others pages. The same situation with the stars could be incorporated where a couple or SF could rate the SM, and a section could be put up where in the search it could show the top rated SM in your area. For example 3 out of 3 stars with 5 votes.. something like that. I do think that this can help couples and SF weed out some bad SM.
great. sign me up. i love the idea of being certified like a piece of meat.
Don't really have a problem with it but sounds alot like ARIZONA on the internet.
There's already is a section on do's and don'ts a test isn't going to keep the losers out,
in fact it may do more harm than good by giving people a sense of false sercurity.
WINNERS AND LOSER'S will pass the test, then what. Just like there's nothing giving a single male proof that a couple is going to use proper etiquette. There's not going to be a good way to do this except on a one to one basis.
I would think the REFERRAL system makes more sense, but even that has it's drawbacks.
There's already is a section on do's and don'ts a test isn't going to keep the losers out,
in fact it may do more harm than good by giving people a sense of false sercurity.
WINNERS AND LOSER'S will pass the test, then what. Just like there's nothing giving a single male proof that a couple is going to use proper etiquette. There's not going to be a good way to do this except on a one to one basis.
I would think the REFERRAL system makes more sense, but even that has it's drawbacks.
Ok why all the whining about single males being "targeted" or "singled out"...we all know that this is a problem area and that a few bad apples have given the whole bunch a bad rap...so admin is offering a way to try and fix this...there is nothing wrong with that...either it can be kept the way it is and there will continue to be the bashing posts and those who can't read and send endless emails and friend requests or we can TRY to educate those who may not know and TRY to make the system better!
Admin did not bring this up to be another male bashing thread, they brought it up to TRY and improve an area that (regardless of who you are) needs improving....so instead of taking it personal and thinking the whole world is picking on, you maybe come up with some idea's of your own to improve the reputation of the single male...they aren't all bad and we do need a way to recognize the good ones from the bad ones...well besides kitty's idea of the list on the home page lol Kisses...Naugh-Ty
Admin did not bring this up to be another male bashing thread, they brought it up to TRY and improve an area that (regardless of who you are) needs improving....so instead of taking it personal and thinking the whole world is picking on, you maybe come up with some idea's of your own to improve the reputation of the single male...they aren't all bad and we do need a way to recognize the good ones from the bad ones...well besides kitty's idea of the list on the home page lol Kisses...Naugh-Ty
GUS140160 wrote:
great. sign me up. i love the idea of being certified like a piece of meat.
Aren't we all certified when we get the "real" or "VIP" seal...this is no different
NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:
Ok why all the whining about single males being "targeted" or "singled out"...we all know that this is a problem area and that a few bad apples have given the whole bunch a bad rap...so admin is offering a way to try and fix this...there is nothing wrong with that...either it can be kept the way it is and there will continue to be the bashing posts and those who can't read and send endless emails and friend requests or we can TRY to educate those who may not know and TRY to make the system better! Admin did not bring this up to be another male bashing thread, they brought it up to TRY and improve an area that (regardless of who you are) needs improving....so instead of taking it personal and thinking the whole world is picking on, you maybe come up with some idea's of your own to improve the reputation of the single male...they aren't all bad and we do need a way to recognize the good ones from the bad ones...well besides kitty's idea of the list on the home page lol Kisses...Naugh-Ty
It'll always be a bad area. Lets face it, some dudes get on here cause they figure they can find a gal who'll put out fast without a lot of effort. And there are some ladies who will do just that, which keeps them coming. All the certification means is they passed some little test, doesn't mean that there's any behavior change or anything different about it. If ya'll wanna limit the single male population, or the quality, then you've gotta just start removing people and making it a very selective site based on personal interactions.
So it is quite apparent to me that if you go with this single male verification there will be some toes stepped on. There already is and this was just a suggestion.
The post above mine stated certified like a piece of meat well how do you think these women who put their intimate pics on here feel? Do you think they enjoy being bombarded with friend requests that for the most part just want to see their private pics and nothing more ever come from it?
I am not trying to offend ANY single males on here but just let me put you in our shoes. I am absolutely 100% in love with my wife her life is way more important to me than mine. Now put yourself were i am at you as a single male if you had something that meant that much to you would you want her to be treated the way that a lot of you treat the women on here? I don't believe you would.
Don't get me wrong we have many,many single male friends. But each and everyone of them has earned the right to be there. But just because you are on a swinger site and we are all here for sex does not give you the right to act like a pig.
So do i think verification will work? No but I do think a short coarse in proper manners and and what is acceptable is not a bad idea.
The post above mine stated certified like a piece of meat well how do you think these women who put their intimate pics on here feel? Do you think they enjoy being bombarded with friend requests that for the most part just want to see their private pics and nothing more ever come from it?
I am not trying to offend ANY single males on here but just let me put you in our shoes. I am absolutely 100% in love with my wife her life is way more important to me than mine. Now put yourself were i am at you as a single male if you had something that meant that much to you would you want her to be treated the way that a lot of you treat the women on here? I don't believe you would.
Don't get me wrong we have many,many single male friends. But each and everyone of them has earned the right to be there. But just because you are on a swinger site and we are all here for sex does not give you the right to act like a pig.
So do i think verification will work? No but I do think a short coarse in proper manners and and what is acceptable is not a bad idea.
MASSMN wrote:
Don't really have a problem with it but sounds alot like ARIZONA on the internet.
There's already is a section on do's and don'ts a test isn't going to keep the losers out,
in fact it may do more harm than good by giving people a sense of false sercurity.
WINNERS AND LOSER'S will pass the test, then what. Just like there's nothing giving a single male proof that a couple is going to use proper etiquette. There's not going to be a good way to do this except on a one to one basis.
I would think the REFERRAL system makes more sense, but even that has it's drawbacks.
Every system will have some sort of flaw...I mean, even our current validation system has some drawbacks...I can think of 2 situations where the couple was verified as real and have split and the male continues to use that account and pose as a couple when he really isn't...every system is going to have flaws but we have to start somewhere don't we?
GUS140160 wrote:
If ya'll wanna limit the single male population, or the quality, then you've gotta just start removing people and making it a very selective site based on personal interactions.
lol, while I may agree that there are some that should be done away with, who would make that call? Really there is no way to fairly do that...I'm not saying I think this proposition is fool proof and will fix all the problems because of course it's not, you'll still have some that pass and just don't care...
But as Rob pointed out, a lot of the misunderstanding come from lack of knowledge...you have no idea how many guys I have referred to the link on the home page about single males in the lifestyle...if they were required to read this and get a certification that they did so then there would be no excuse for the behavior and you would know they don't care...or if you're contacted by someone who clearly didn't read your profile and you look and see he's not certified you would think "oh that's why, he probably hasn't read the "manual" (lol)
I just really don't see what all the fuss is about, is everyone afraid to read? I know if it were part of the validation for couples I would have no problem reading whatever and taking a little quiz, it just means one more "medal" on my profile that means I am real, I have been given knowledge of how to succeed in this lifestyle and I am glad to be here...my wall of honor if you will...no biggie really...*shrugs*
Sorry, I guess I'm long winded and have lots to say today lol
Hmmm...I can understand the problem NAUGHTYGIRL 101.
One way to discourage guy's is to put more pics of ur male partner, i know u have done that but alot of others have 3x's as many pics of the female or just put 1 profile pic of both of u and if u become friends with that person then u can share.
Just a suggestion.
One way to discourage guy's is to put more pics of ur male partner, i know u have done that but alot of others have 3x's as many pics of the female or just put 1 profile pic of both of u and if u become friends with that person then u can share.
Just a suggestion.
NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:GUS140160 wrote:lol, while I may agree that there are some that should be done away with, who would make that call? Really there is no way to fairly do that...I'm not saying I think this proposition is fool proof and will fix all the problems because of course it's not, you'll still have some that pass and just don't care... But as Rob pointed out, a lot of the misunderstanding come from lack of knowledge...you have no idea how many guys I have referred to the link on the home page about single males in the lifestyle...if they were required to read this and get a certification that they did so then there would be no excuse for the behavior and you would know they don't care...or if you're contacted by someone who clearly didn't read your profile and you look and see he's not certified you would think "oh that's why, he probably hasn't read the "manual" (lol) I just really don't see what all the fuss is about, is everyone afraid to read? I know if it were part of the validation for couples I would have no problem reading whatever and taking a little quiz, it just means one more "medal" on my profile that means I am real, I have been given knowledge of how to succeed in this lifestyle and I am glad to be here...my wall of honor if you will...no biggie really...*shrugs*
If ya'll wanna limit the single male population, or the quality, then you've gotta just start removing people and making it a very selective site based on personal interactions.
As a single guy (guilty) i've noticed in the lifestyle some trends that say yea, single guys involved are just like single guys outside the lifestyle...ass holes who want vag. It's not right and it's not cool, but it is what it is. The selction process (which was an idea, but not one i'd actually advocate) could be done like the one suicidegirls has...someone submits basically a profile and the community votes on it. If majority likes it, then they're in. Certified seems like just a way to make a couple feel more fuzzy inside about a single guy...what about all the couples who've treated single guys like sex toys that have the ability to talk (but shouldn't, unless spoken to). Where's our "certified not bat shit crazy" stamp on couples profiles!?! I say leave it as it is already, if the single dude issue is really all that big of a deal then great, do something about it, but going through a process just to say we read something and took a quiz just shows guys have reading comprehension skills, not applying what they supposedly learned skills.
MASSMN wrote:
Hmmm...I can understand the problem NAUGHTYGIRL 101.
One way to discourage guy's is to put more pics of ur male partner, i know u have done that but alot of others have 3x's as many pics of the female or just put 1 profile pic of both of u and if u become friends with that person then u can share.
Just a suggestion.
Yeah we did...and I even spelled it out in all caps in my profile too (to the point that when first talking with some they think I'm a total bitch until they get why it says that and get to know me then they change their minds...for the most part lol) and that still doesn't deter them...but some don't understand to read profiles first and the significance of blind friends requests...so if they've taken the little test then they'd have no excuse for it...but I do agree with what you're saying about the pics though
GUS140160 wrote:
but going through a process just to say we read something and took a quiz just shows guys have reading comprehension skills, not applying what they supposedly learned skills.
Trust me, from the female point of view...having reading comprehension skills is a GREAT start lol
And yeah we could use a "certified not bat shit crazy" seal for everyone, couples and single females too but that would be a whole nother can of worms lol
DESERTSTONE wrote:
Allright, I have a bit of a problem with the "single males" tag. I know people speak while biting their tongue but to read:
UTAHSEXY wrote:
But, for the most part single males absolutley need some training.
it kinda makes this thread seem like another single male bashing by some. Only a couple have provided positive additional ideas and several have provided positive favor.
I knew someone would pull out the gender bashing card. Just for study, here is another real life example.
AGAIN READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP.
==============================================
No,
I read the no single males but can't blame a guy for tryin............
------Original Message------
I realize you are short, but does that stop you from reading profiles before sending emails?
------Original Message------
Hello,
My name is Jo
Bad idea. Simple question: The marriage of a man and woman automatically gives a married male more "education" about the lifestyle than a single male? Just by putting a ring on his finger?
I'd like to see a certification for EVERYONE on the site. There are plenty of stories of couples and singles being rude.
Instead of taking a test, how about membership levels for everyone. A member can not e-mail others unless they have been through the Real or VIP status verification. That would be a huge start. Let them post on the forums until they are verified. They can build their online presence through the forums first before sending e-mails.
An even better solution: USERS HIT THE DELETE AND IGNORE BUTTONS. I know, what a concept. What was I thinking. If someone or some people want to be successful in the lifestyle, they should seek out the information on their own. If not, they send a message to potential mates. Darwin had it right.
Just my two cents...
Mav
I'd like to see a certification for EVERYONE on the site. There are plenty of stories of couples and singles being rude.
Instead of taking a test, how about membership levels for everyone. A member can not e-mail others unless they have been through the Real or VIP status verification. That would be a huge start. Let them post on the forums until they are verified. They can build their online presence through the forums first before sending e-mails.
An even better solution: USERS HIT THE DELETE AND IGNORE BUTTONS. I know, what a concept. What was I thinking. If someone or some people want to be successful in the lifestyle, they should seek out the information on their own. If not, they send a message to potential mates. Darwin had it right.
Just my two cents...
Mav
ADMINISTRATOR wrote:
One of the issues we always see that comes up in discussions involves the whole single male world. As a business, single males are a huge part of what makes a site successful yet they get the worst of it all, and we all know why.
I'd like to know what percentage of Swingular's revenue comes from Single Men?
MAVENX wrote:
Bad idea. Simple question: The marriage of a man and woman automatically gives a married male more "education" about the lifestyle than a single male? Just by putting a ring on his finger?
No, what it usually does is put an educated female by his side to hit his knuckles with a ruler when he starts to revert back to his single ways. Albeit, even knuckle whacking doesn't work with some married males.
MAVENX wrote:
Bad idea. Simple question: The marriage of a man and woman automatically gives a married male more "education" about the lifestyle than a single male? Just by putting a ring on his finger?
Yes there is, I won't argue there...but this is just a start, one "problem area" (strictly for lack of a better word right now lol)...a stepping stone if you will...it's easier to implement things a little at a time...and this seems to be the area most talked about so I think it's a good start
Why is it always about the guys? I have answered several single females here only to find out they are not single but married. They only want to play with females not couples or maybe female of couples as long as some guy friend can watch. Maybe he will only watch but he may join in. I am part of a couple looking for females and they are just not real. At least the guys will tell you they are single (married or not). Just for you single guys out there, I do not feel its right to tag you unless the females get tagged as well.
UTAHSEXY wrote:
No, what it usually does is put an educated female by his side
LOL. I've seen just as many poorly behaving married women in this lifestyle as I've seen men.
It seems to me that as a couple, single male, or single female, any kind of certification or endorsement is a good idea. We've all dealt with people who only want to friend you to perv on your private pics and who chat and e-mail up a storm but won't ever meet. So any system that weeds out some of the posers sounds good to us. We should provide constructive alternatives if we're not happy with the Admin's suggestions. Be appreciative that they are still trying to improve everyone's experience on the site rather than resting out their laurels counting money.
I think most of you are taking this whole idea out of context. Are there problems with every gender (single male, single female, couple)? Absolutely. But single females and couples don't have a hard time meeting people. Single men do. It's because of the general consensus about them.
Certification isn't met to tag anyone, it's to give them some insight, some education to something that MAY help them connect with couples. Do the men in couples need education about etiquette? I'm sure some do but they aren't the ones having problems connecting.
The program is ONLY there to help the single male community. You can take it for what is or not. It's not a label, it's not a tag, it's an idea to promote education. That's it.
All this talk that we should make everyone take a certification isn't going to help the fact that single men still have a hard time connecting. But couples may feel more comfortable connecting with a single male if they know he took the time to read about the etiquette.
It's as simple as that.
Certification isn't met to tag anyone, it's to give them some insight, some education to something that MAY help them connect with couples. Do the men in couples need education about etiquette? I'm sure some do but they aren't the ones having problems connecting.
The program is ONLY there to help the single male community. You can take it for what is or not. It's not a label, it's not a tag, it's an idea to promote education. That's it.
All this talk that we should make everyone take a certification isn't going to help the fact that single men still have a hard time connecting. But couples may feel more comfortable connecting with a single male if they know he took the time to read about the etiquette.
It's as simple as that.
I think everyone should take this !!!! We are scared more about the newbies the the single male ..... I think that everyone should have to read about swing before they even start ...... Just sayin
MAVENX wrote:
An even better solution: USERS HIT THE DELETE AND IGNORE BUTTONS.
Mav
WHAT!? THERE'S A BLOCK AND IGNORE BUTTON!?
Oh wait... I already knew that, thus I prolly have more people blocked than the average site user. Apparently I have low tolerance levels to jackwagons. hahahaha
I think it's silly and a waste of time. Single girls, single guys or couples all have different likes, dislikes, fantasies and fetishes. How is a quiz going to find everyones perfect playmates? The whole life style is to provide variety.
We are all adults and can make our own educated choices for playmates.
We are all adults and can make our own educated choices for playmates.
ZAMBODIE wrote:
I think it's silly and a waste of time. Single girls, single guys or couples all have different likes, dislikes, fantasies and fetishes. How is a quiz going to find everyones perfect playmates? The whole life style is to provide variety.
We are all adults and can make our own educated choices for playmates.
It's not meant to help everyone find their playmates...it's meant to help people understand etiquette, manners, the single males role in the lifestyle, etc...to help the males understand things like couples don't usually like blind friends requests or emails saying "nice pics, can I fuck your wife?", things like that...out would be a seal showing they have read (and even slightly understand) how to get the best experience out of the lifestyle while having the "label of the dreaded single male"...it would be to help them as much as anything
I think you should make it harder to join. ANYONE attempting to join has to send admin at least a current face pic(s), proof of location, and be verified. And make being able to contact members and chat room only available to verified members. Guests should only have access to forum discussions and general searches, no photo albums other then the basic profile pic. And members should have an option to disable whatever catergory they aren't interested from even viewing their profile much less contacting them. But I also think if you don't want a catergory emailing you, you should be blocked from viewing and contacting them also. IE... if you don't want single males accessing your profile, you should be blocked from accessing single males profiles.
I also like the "star" system. Stars should be earned by:
1. verification
2. X amount of positive comments
3. real photos posted
4. community involvment (ie hosting parties, forum discussions, chat room moderators etc)
Just my 2 cents.
xox
Tammy
I also like the "star" system. Stars should be earned by:
1. verification
2. X amount of positive comments
3. real photos posted
4. community involvment (ie hosting parties, forum discussions, chat room moderators etc)
Just my 2 cents.
xox
Tammy
ADMINISTRATOR wrote:SEAKINGHER wrote:Yeah, as I said previously, the program isn't something you would use to make a final determination about a person. It's mostly to know that the person in question has taken the time to 'at least' read about the etiquette for single men in the lifestyle. Something they may have not thought about before. It's just one more tool in their arsenal. Think about it. I'm a single male, new to the lifestyle. I join this site and think I can have my way with any woman because that's what they are here for, right? So I start sending emails with pictures of my dick saying, 'let's fuck!.' It doesn't help me any, yet truly, I'm a genuinely good guy. I end up wasting my time and every one elses. Now then I notice this Single Male Certification program. It says it's an additional tool to help me meet people. Why not, let's check it out. Things can't get any worse, right. So I read up on all this stuff I didn't know about before and I kind of understand it a little better now. So now my approach changes. I may not get any more hook ups out of it, but I sure the hell have a better chance now. If the program didn't exist, I may have not known that there was etiquette involved in the first place. Does that make more sense?
There are some plus and minus points to the idea.
Please do not get me wrong. I think it is a great idea. I also think you might ask for how it might be done as well as if it should be done.
UTAHSEXY wrote:
The folowing email was received by a single male just today. (Read from bottom up. I added capitalized comments) My profile specifically requests that single males do not contact me, I will contact them. This happens constantly. And single males wonder why they have a bad rap. I doubt that certification would stop this. I actually find it more humourous than maddening. I really don't want to block single males as there is that one in a hundred that is worth knowing. But, for the most part single males absolutley need some training. ==================================================== im a little more then 7 long ______ HIS RESPONSE ------Original Message------ Are you dense? _________ MY RESPONSE ------Original Message------ right now?? ___________ HIS FIRST EMAIL Subject: Wann Hook up ____________ SUBJECT LINE
That is why I think single males need to be broken down into two groups. Those that are polite swingers and those that are just fuckers.
Low tolerance for jackwagons? OMG kitty you crack me up...
Now for the singles...quit bitching because your feelers are hurt and offer suggestions. I understand that you feel slighted by this, but even naughtygirls point is that the INTENT was to improve stuff for the singles, so instead of bitching, how about contribute positively. The negativity is a turn off, and earns negative points for you just because you chose to be negative and I would rather look for the positives and find those that want to partake in this and not walk away with an impression that your all bitter because you were called a "bad name". As the old saying goes, if you don't have something nice to say...
But that's just my 2 cents for some constructive criticism.
I personally agree with the idea, though I will say I don't agree with it entirely in its current idea stage.
Bottom line, we are pro single male, but those we have found so far, are definitely jackwagons as kitty so delicately described. So we are all for something that can help tell us they either don't give a shit because they read some guidelines and ignored them or that they didn't read and maybe are just unaware.
However, the points that it is confined to single males is also not quite accurate as we know there are couples with similar issues, and as badboy8p points out, the new couples are somewhat the "odd man out" in the equation as well (couldn't resist the play on words there).
With all this in mind, I would propose that the "Seal" be one for every profile that would say that all 3 categories (single male, single female, and couple) could get but customized (as in this couple has read the swing guidelines...this single male has... as a couple, single male, or single female, any kind of certification or endorsement is a good idea. We've all dealt with people who only wand nauseum) and then back it up with a "behind the scenes" rating system. The behind the scenes rating system can consist of 5 or so indicators for a good encounter. No stars or other stuff to be given out but something that you can "rate" an encounter on to give overall, yet anonymous stats back to others on how the encounters they had in the past went.
Examples of the "5 indicators" questions that could be used:
Did they show up as promised?
If they didn't show, was there what seemed to be a real reason?
Were they polite to her?
Were they polite to him?
Was the upfront communication adequate?
Then after these questions are asked, you could get some indicators as to whether they are serious about the lifestyle or "just looking to fuck" and also get some gauge as to whether they are serious or just picture hunting as well.
As a benefit you could add a "change and verification" into the mix that could help verifiy that those with the VIP and Real seals are still "REAL and VIP's" by asking if this were still the case in this questionnaire so you can have a mechanism to fix those issues as the site grows and yet you the admin are not stuck with all those duties without some tools to assist.
Overall, this should have laid out an argument that a "singles only" solution isn't the best solution, but is starting on a step in the right direction, and should have advanced the concept to a much more usable solution for the entire community.
I am more than happy to continue with an "algorithm" for use to layout the "trustworthiness" factors to be used, but then too much of this would undermine the sites ability to maintain uniqueness and keep an edge on the competition.
Now for the singles...quit bitching because your feelers are hurt and offer suggestions. I understand that you feel slighted by this, but even naughtygirls point is that the INTENT was to improve stuff for the singles, so instead of bitching, how about contribute positively. The negativity is a turn off, and earns negative points for you just because you chose to be negative and I would rather look for the positives and find those that want to partake in this and not walk away with an impression that your all bitter because you were called a "bad name". As the old saying goes, if you don't have something nice to say...
But that's just my 2 cents for some constructive criticism.
I personally agree with the idea, though I will say I don't agree with it entirely in its current idea stage.
Bottom line, we are pro single male, but those we have found so far, are definitely jackwagons as kitty so delicately described. So we are all for something that can help tell us they either don't give a shit because they read some guidelines and ignored them or that they didn't read and maybe are just unaware.
However, the points that it is confined to single males is also not quite accurate as we know there are couples with similar issues, and as badboy8p points out, the new couples are somewhat the "odd man out" in the equation as well (couldn't resist the play on words there).
With all this in mind, I would propose that the "Seal" be one for every profile that would say that all 3 categories (single male, single female, and couple) could get but customized (as in this couple has read the swing guidelines...this single male has... as a couple, single male, or single female, any kind of certification or endorsement is a good idea. We've all dealt with people who only wand nauseum) and then back it up with a "behind the scenes" rating system. The behind the scenes rating system can consist of 5 or so indicators for a good encounter. No stars or other stuff to be given out but something that you can "rate" an encounter on to give overall, yet anonymous stats back to others on how the encounters they had in the past went.
Examples of the "5 indicators" questions that could be used:
Did they show up as promised?
If they didn't show, was there what seemed to be a real reason?
Were they polite to her?
Were they polite to him?
Was the upfront communication adequate?
Then after these questions are asked, you could get some indicators as to whether they are serious about the lifestyle or "just looking to fuck" and also get some gauge as to whether they are serious or just picture hunting as well.
As a benefit you could add a "change and verification" into the mix that could help verifiy that those with the VIP and Real seals are still "REAL and VIP's" by asking if this were still the case in this questionnaire so you can have a mechanism to fix those issues as the site grows and yet you the admin are not stuck with all those duties without some tools to assist.
Overall, this should have laid out an argument that a "singles only" solution isn't the best solution, but is starting on a step in the right direction, and should have advanced the concept to a much more usable solution for the entire community.
I am more than happy to continue with an "algorithm" for use to layout the "trustworthiness" factors to be used, but then too much of this would undermine the sites ability to maintain uniqueness and keep an edge on the competition.
one thing, I've noticed some couples say they are seeking "SM, SF, COUPLES" when you highlight them, bu then when you click and read down the profile, they have in super huge letters "ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE MALES AT ALL" in the description section. So if everybody, couples included, could make sure that what they're looking for is correctly listed in both areas, that would be great.
And another potential "stat" that can go onto a persons profile? A "blind friends request" indicator that is like a "thumbs up/down" type of stat that is required as part of "friending someone". This will quickly discourage anyone from just blindly sending friend requests. Could also include a toggle option on your own profile as to whether you allow or discourage this practice.
And the punishment for too many unwanted blind friend requests? You can no longer send them for a week?
Just another random thought brought on by all the "blind friend request" comments.
And the punishment for too many unwanted blind friend requests? You can no longer send them for a week?
Just another random thought brought on by all the "blind friend request" comments.
SEAKINGHER wrote:
That is why I think single males need to be broken down into two groups. Those that are polite swingers and those that are just fuckers.
Not just single males....people in general.
JOHND wrote:
wow reading a thread like this on my second day, and I don't think I'll be paying for a full membership any time soon
I suggest you keep this up on the front page, it'll stop all us single guys from spoiling your little paradise
That really is too bad that you find a bunch off mature adults politely discussing a "problem" and possible solution ideas such a turn off...i for one am very impressed that for the most part this discussion has been kept civil without a ton of bashing and people are actually offering different takes on the idea and other options...it's refreshing to see actual discussions going on...you all have my applause...kisses...Naugh-Ty
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
one thing, I've noticed some couples say they are seeking "SM, SF, COUPLES" when you highlight them, bu then when you click and read down the profile, they have in super huge letters "ABSOLUTELY NO SINGLE MALES AT ALL" in the description section. So if everybody, couples included, could make sure that what they're looking for is correctly listed in both areas, that would be great.
That would be a whole different can of worms to be opened there lol
In theory, it is identical to having couples post comments on single males' pages. What would differentiate this is something just a bit standardized and all verified from the same trusted source. Comments are often overlooked or taken as naught.
NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:
That would be a whole different can of worms to be opened there lol
True, but it would help us poor misguided single males
HOT2PHUC wrote:
And another potential "stat" that can go onto a persons profile? A "blind friends request" indicator that is like a "thumbs up/down" type of stat that is required as part of "friending someone". This will quickly discourage anyone from just blindly sending friend requests. Could also include a toggle option on your own profile as to whether you allow or discourage this practice.
And the punishment for too many unwanted blind friend requests? You can no longer send them for a week?
Just another random thought brought on by all the "blind friend request" comments.
I would have thought the little pop up that used to come up when you pressed friend request that said most people like an accompanying email would have helped too but it didn't...so etiquette on sending friends requests could be included in the "manual" I'm sure
Naughtygirl, how dare you say that. What are you thinking. Sheesh. Really? Really???
OK, my really bad attempt at being "uncivil." LOL I just thought your comment was good and wanted to interject some humor into this equation.
Mav
For those of you ready to pounce on me for being bad, this was a JOKE. LAUGH IT UP. Enjoy the sarcasm. Now back to our regularly scheduled forum post........
OK, my really bad attempt at being "uncivil." LOL I just thought your comment was good and wanted to interject some humor into this equation.
Mav
For those of you ready to pounce on me for being bad, this was a JOKE. LAUGH IT UP. Enjoy the sarcasm. Now back to our regularly scheduled forum post........
MAVENX wrote:
Naughtygirl, how dare you say that. What are you thinking. Sheesh. Really? Really???
OK, my really bad attempt at being "uncivil." LOL I just thought your comment was good and wanted to interject some humor into this equation.
Mav
For those of you ready to pounce on me for being bad, this was a JOKE. LAUGH IT UP. Enjoy the sarcasm. Now back to our regularly scheduled forum post........
Haha...i know right lmao...at least it was just your humor you were injecting here *giggles*
We think it is a great idea - While were on the topic of single males if anyone has a good reference for a single male that is respectable and gives a good sensual massage let us know.
FANTASYFUNUT wrote:
We think it is a great idea - While were on the topic of single males if anyone has a good reference for a single male that is respectable and gives a good sensual massage let us know.
Can't help but notice your profile says 'no single males'. eh, yeah, it is another can of worms. Sorry.
FANTASYFUNUT wrote:
We think it is a great idea - While were on the topic of single males if anyone has a good reference for a single male that is respectable and gives a good sensual massage let us know.
Why do people do that? Why do they have NO SINGLE MALES listed on their profile and then ask for one? Really? Let me guess, they also think that No means Maybe. ~sigh~
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:FANTASYFUNUT wrote:
We think it is a great idea - While were on the topic of single males if anyone has a good reference for a single male that is respectable and gives a good sensual massage let us know.
Why do people do that? Why do they have NO SINGLE MALES listed on their profile and then ask for one? Really? Let me guess, they also think that No means Maybe. ~sigh~
Cause it at least cuts down on the traffic. I request that single males not contact me that I will contact them, but they still do. I could just imaging the deluge I would get if I didn't at least say that. By putting NO SINGLE MALES a couple or single female is just trying to protect themselves and even though they may want a single male they can get one at their leisure and not be bothered by every Tom Dick and Harry that think they are all that.
JohnD: Really, it is a fun site. The front page includes ALL the forum posts. You just have to read the ones that are interesting to you. There are a few I don't bother reading (like Politics. ARgh!) And when you read these posts, just read them with a sense of humor. We have some fun discussions and LOTS of fun times.
UtahSexy: Don't you mean being bothered by all the Tiny, Hairy Dicks? LOL I crack myself up! not.
Mav
UtahSexy: Don't you mean being bothered by all the Tiny, Hairy Dicks? LOL I crack myself up! not.
Mav
I think that anything that gives us single guys a better chance is a good idea.
JOHND wrote:NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:
[quote=JOHND]wow reading a thread like this on my second day, and I don't think I'll be paying for a full membership any time soon
I suggest you keep this up on the front page, it'll stop all us single guys from spoiling your little paradise
That really is too bad that you find a bunch off mature adults politely discussing a "problem" and possible solution ideas such a turn off...i for one am very impressed that for the most part this discussion has been kept civil without a ton of bashing and people are actually offering different takes on the idea and other options...it's refreshing to see actual discussions going on...you all have my applause...kisses...Naugh-Ty
if this is what passes for civilized discourse here, it speaks volumes for you as a community. I don't think I know any of you, and based on what I'm reading here I already don't feel welcome, and think there are few that I'd want to know[/quote]
Well don't go digging through the old posts then...this community is just like every other one...we have our ups and downs, good times and bad, great people and even a few not so great...but the difference is we have more happy endings lol...i guess to someone who hasn't been here long it could seem that this is bad but really it isn't and it just gets some getting to know people...so really, don't give up....swingular has some of the greatest people, you just happen to be in the toughest position...ask Mav, I'm sure it hasn't always been a walk in the park for him, but if you ask him (or most others) if it's been worth the time and effort and ups and downs, I dare bet he'd say hell ya!!
And Mav, you can keep the hair lol
UGH!!!!!!!!!
I really can't tolerate it anymore. All you single guys who are crying about how badly you are treated need to STFU. I've been around long enough to see hundreds just like you come and go. When single guys are respectful of everyone they stick around but the rest fade off after a while. If the site wants to implement something like this I'd be very happy about it. Less d-bags I have to deal with...
I really can't tolerate it anymore. All you single guys who are crying about how badly you are treated need to STFU. I've been around long enough to see hundreds just like you come and go. When single guys are respectful of everyone they stick around but the rest fade off after a while. If the site wants to implement something like this I'd be very happy about it. Less d-bags I have to deal with...
MAVENX wrote:
UtahSexy: Don't you mean being bothered by all the Tiny, Hairy Dicks? LOL I crack myself up! not.
Mav
Those too!!!!! LOL
BADDAVE wrote:
UGH!!!!!!!!!
I really can't tolerate it anymore. All you single guys who are crying about how badly you are treated need to STFU. I've been around long enough to see hundreds just like you come and go. When single guys are respectful of everyone they stick around but the rest fade off after a while. If the site wants to implement something like this I'd be very happy about it. Less d-bags I have to deal with...
Well said.
I think EVERYONE should have to read some sort of etiquette, not just the single males. As a single female on here I get just as many disgusting requests from couples as I do single males. Not to mention all the men or women posing as a "couple". Everyone should have to read something to this effect, not just the single males, when signing up. As for being determined real, you already have a system for that I don't see why one group should have to jump through extra steps to use the same site. Seems a little like discrimination if only one group has to do it.
SHAZAMER wrote:
Honestly, I think the admin are much too kind to offer this sort of thing.
I think everyone's missing the point here- This isn't about being "kind". This is about Swingular trying to improve the success rate for single males so they tell their buddies how they hooked up on Swingular, driving more single guys to signup and pay. Guys are much more likely to spend money on a membership when they think they are going to get laid.
SLCSEXADDICT wrote:SHAZAMER wrote:
Honestly, I think the admin are much too kind to offer this sort of thing.
I think everyone's missing the point here- This isn't about being "kind". This is about Swingular trying to improve the success rate for single males so they tell their buddies how they hooked up on Swingular, driving more single guys to signup and pay. Guys are much more likely to spend money on a membership when they think they are going to get laid.
Good point. Sneaky Admin's..."Millions of users, 'active or not', and trendsetters." I say do it! The swinger world is your oyster. Enjoy! Build it and they will come! Ok, the last comment was from Field Of Dreams. haha Do what you do Admin's.
I like to think that I am one of the "good" ones out there. I am not overly pushy (hard to figure out where the line between showing interest and pushy is since it changes per couple/lady) I never contact people that say no single males unless it's to make a single comment, I have always accepted a "No thank you" as a polite refusal and let it go at that. The few I have played with know me well enough to vouch for me if ever asked but a little something extra to say "Here's a guy that was willing to at least attempt to educate himself."
I am all for the program. I think it would be a great idea. Please sign me up as soon as the program is off the ground.
I am all for the program. I think it would be a great idea. Please sign me up as soon as the program is off the ground.
I personally see this life style as a community. The Good, the Bad; and the Ugly are all here in microcosm. I think we can all use a little education and improvement. That does not mean that anyone person that takes that instruction will change his or her ways. But it does not hurt to try it. I have read the information that is available here and think that everyone should do so. I believe that such a program will limit the population of single men by keeping some of those that are here only for trophy sex out. Those that really believe in the lifestyle as a community will be willing to put forth the effort to be part of it. I think this will actually increase the number of couples and swinging singles that are willing to join and pay money for the privilege.
Swingular actually feels like a site for swingers where AFF has become nothing but a sex site for those that like to look and send emails. If you think that the number of single males is large here you should look there and I assume that most of you have. The majority of the women and couples there are non-paying. It does not appear that this is the case on Swingular. The admin here seem to care about this community and AFF could not care less. The fact that they are willing to put this out in open forum tells me that they do care about their customers. I have not seen the same from other sites.
I would like admin to put something more solidly together and then let us pick at it. Most systems can and should be tweaked from time to time. Maybe we can make some good observations and maybe we won
Swingular actually feels like a site for swingers where AFF has become nothing but a sex site for those that like to look and send emails. If you think that the number of single males is large here you should look there and I assume that most of you have. The majority of the women and couples there are non-paying. It does not appear that this is the case on Swingular. The admin here seem to care about this community and AFF could not care less. The fact that they are willing to put this out in open forum tells me that they do care about their customers. I have not seen the same from other sites.
I would like admin to put something more solidly together and then let us pick at it. Most systems can and should be tweaked from time to time. Maybe we can make some good observations and maybe we won
FANTASYFUNUT wrote:
We think it is a great idea - While were on the topic of single males if anyone has a good reference for a single male that is respectable and gives a good sensual massage let us know.
The problem is that by putting no SM in your profile you stop the very ones you want to contact you from doing so. The good ones take a no as a no and don't inquire at all. Therefore you have limited the email but shot your self in the foot. There should be a better way and this may be part of the solution. It does not hurt to try. Would it not be best if we were all honest on profiles and posts?
Why do people do that? Why do they have NO SINGLE MALES listed on their profile and then ask for one? Really? Let me guess, they also think that No means Maybe. ~sigh~
I have asked this of many couples, the most common answer is, 'We don't want to be inundated with single males, so we'll find them when we want them.'
As to the test or ettiquite (sp?) course, I think it should be a part of the signing up process.
I started as a single male in the lifestyle, I found another site, poked around for a few minutes and thought, 'WOW! I can fuck someone else's wife without any of the work of dating or getting to know them! Sign me up!' As you know, I was sorely mistaken!
As a couple who entertain single males (same male, 2 different females now), we've found that some basic ettiquite (again, SP?) would be a good bit of knowledge.
The only caveat, I would make it for everyone, not just the single males. Couples come and go from the lifestyle also, they're thinking of swinging, fantasizing about swinging, etc. Sure, they don't have as much a problem with meeting people, however, it would go a long way in assisting them.
We went on the YOLO cruise, Admin, you were there, Jeff the Body Painter gave a class, 'Swinging 101,' we went even though we'd been swinging for 4-5 years by then, still learned a lot of 'common sense' things that we hadn't thought of previously. For instance, the symbiotic relationships between various groups, without voyeurs, exhibitionists couldn't do what they do and vice versa.
The reason I am even mentioning it, I am sure you could get Jeff or someone else, to film the class and allow you to post it on the site. I would make watching it a part of the sign up process.
But, hey, WTF do I know?
Our two cents? A certification program would be great, but don't limit it to just single males, put it up for all. How many couples have the SAME problems as single males, yet hardly anything is said about them. A rating system could be helpful, something like a short survey and a one to five point rating for each question like "How respectful is this member?" Of course a disclaimer should be put in place stating that this rating is purely subjective, and perhaps a count of how many other members have actually rated this member. It could also be broken down to how many SM's have rated this member, how many Couples have rated this member, and how many SF's have rated this member. The comments are great, however many people do not use them, especially to leave negative comments as it can lead to retaliation from the offended party. Also I would suggest some specific ratings for the different types of members such as for couples some questions about them as a couple, as well as individuals. Just some suggestions.
WILDONEZ2004 wrote:
Our two cents? A certification program would be great, but don't limit it to just single males, put it up for all. How many couples have the SAME problems as single males, yet hardly anything is said about them. A rating system could be helpful, something like a short survey and a one to five point rating for each question like "How respectful is this member?" Of course a disclaimer should be put in place stating that this rating is purely subjective, and perhaps a count of how many other members have actually rated this member. It could also be broken down to how many SM's have rated this member, how many Couples have rated this member, and how many SF's have rated this member. The comments are great, however many people do not use them, especially to leave negative comments as it can lead to retaliation from the offended party. Also I would suggest some specific ratings for the different types of members such as for couples some questions about them as a couple, as well as individuals. Just some suggestions.
Those are some really good ideas!!
Wow what about the single females?? oh wait everyone wants them never mind..
As for "single " males need etiquette train I would so disagree I have been to a few meet n greet yes with a date where married men feel because its a swinger party the can go around and just grope the women their. as for taking some kinda test isn't that a bit silly if you click with one couple and not another isn't that just part of life?? but here are my test answers NO means NO the hubby is part of the interaction even if just wants to watch... oh and I don't do drunk girls
As for "single " males need etiquette train I would so disagree I have been to a few meet n greet yes with a date where married men feel because its a swinger party the can go around and just grope the women their. as for taking some kinda test isn't that a bit silly if you click with one couple and not another isn't that just part of life?? but here are my test answers NO means NO the hubby is part of the interaction even if just wants to watch... oh and I don't do drunk girls
I thank everyone for their input on this subject. That is why we brought it up in the first place. Everyone has some good suggestions and I understand the hold back by others. This is how you create a better product. Everyone needs to remember, this is just AN IDEA. It is not something that is going to happen until we come up with something that works, if that's even possible.
Here are my thoughts:
A few of you mentioned a rating system. We actually had this a few years back. The system was designed so that everyone started at 0. There was no way to go into the negative. If you built up good relationships, people would rate you and your number would go up or down. Members thought it wasn't fair for new members and some members felt that you could be a good person, someone has a vendetta against you and has all their friends give you a bad rating. The conclusion was that it was more discriminatory and biased than it did good. Others thought it was a popularity contest. It did not receive good feedback from the majority of members so it was removed.
Some have mentioned making the program available to all. I like this idea because it does allow everyone to get educated about the lifestyle. And in the end, it could help single men as well. So everybody wins and no one is left out. But then we would have to tweak the system a bit and maybe not have a 'quiz' or 'test.' That would be something to discuss. And I think we would have to come up with a sexier name and symbol that gets applied to everyone's profile for taking the time to read it. It wouldn't be required, it would just be an added benefit.
If a new member saw that other members had a special seal, just like the VIP and REAL seals, then they to would want to do what it takes to get that seal too.
Here are my thoughts:
A few of you mentioned a rating system. We actually had this a few years back. The system was designed so that everyone started at 0. There was no way to go into the negative. If you built up good relationships, people would rate you and your number would go up or down. Members thought it wasn't fair for new members and some members felt that you could be a good person, someone has a vendetta against you and has all their friends give you a bad rating. The conclusion was that it was more discriminatory and biased than it did good. Others thought it was a popularity contest. It did not receive good feedback from the majority of members so it was removed.
Some have mentioned making the program available to all. I like this idea because it does allow everyone to get educated about the lifestyle. And in the end, it could help single men as well. So everybody wins and no one is left out. But then we would have to tweak the system a bit and maybe not have a 'quiz' or 'test.' That would be something to discuss. And I think we would have to come up with a sexier name and symbol that gets applied to everyone's profile for taking the time to read it. It wouldn't be required, it would just be an added benefit.
If a new member saw that other members had a special seal, just like the VIP and REAL seals, then they to would want to do what it takes to get that seal too.
I want to apologize to the readers of the forum for my sensitivity of subject not directly related to the post.
While it seems that the whole class would be marking my report card so to speak, I can only hope there be no animosity resulting in unfair marks.
I have been on this site for over 5 years and I have not had any contacts here, I expect that is due to location. I could have no rating this way.
None the less, I recommend that Admin use the original idea and work with some of the suggested variations. It's a start that may enhance the whole experience and credit markings for others as well.
Lots of good ideas folks, thanks.
While it seems that the whole class would be marking my report card so to speak, I can only hope there be no animosity resulting in unfair marks.
I have been on this site for over 5 years and I have not had any contacts here, I expect that is due to location. I could have no rating this way.
None the less, I recommend that Admin use the original idea and work with some of the suggested variations. It's a start that may enhance the whole experience and credit markings for others as well.
Lots of good ideas folks, thanks.
I agree with you UTMAN. I am not a serial swinger either. Like I said in my profile, I used to be in the lifestyle with my ex-wife. I prefer to have a quality encounter and make great lifelong friends at the same time. I think this is a good idea to help the couples on here in their decision making process on single males. I know there are 98% fakes that are just out for some fantasy net conversation and would never show up to a meeting, but, there are the other two percent that are real and serious like myself. I think this system can help weed out the bad apples.
Have a great veterans day and to the vets
Have a great veterans day and to the vets
SINGLENUDIST wrote:
By having your information confirmed by ConfirmID, people will have more trust with you. Get better results from your online interactions with personal verification from ConfirmID - get verified today!
ConfirmID is a similar program to the one we use here. The difference is, we have two levels, REAL & VIP. VIP is the part that is similar as only administration or those who represent Swingular can hand it out by truly verifying your gender. Also, ConfirmID is only available to friendfinder owned sites, it's their own product and they are trying to make it seem like it's a separate entity in which it is not.
Another difference is that we no longer use the seals for single men as the reason we created the verification program in the first place was to eliminate posers of couples and single women. Single men really don't have that problem. Who wants to fake being a single male? They have a bad rap as it is.
But that is not the issue here, we are not trying to prove who is real or who isn't. We are just trying to help the single community get rid of some of that 'bad rap' reputation. You have to start somewhere right?
Stars, Coments, Certification tests...
Come on people, we are Adults. Learn to live and act as an adult and these things aren't needed.
Why would any member on this site, or any other site want stars and checkmarks placed on their page... What is this, some form of notches on our cyber bedpost.
Having been a part of this lifestyle almost 30 years, both as a single male and as part of a couple, the best thing to do is block those that repulse you and continue on with life.
Yes, couples may block 98 singles before they find a good one but this is life.. the vanillas do the same thing outside the computer.
We always called it "Other Peoples Children"
If other people had raised their kids correctly, this wouldn't be an issue.
Just saying
Come on people, we are Adults. Learn to live and act as an adult and these things aren't needed.
Why would any member on this site, or any other site want stars and checkmarks placed on their page... What is this, some form of notches on our cyber bedpost.
Having been a part of this lifestyle almost 30 years, both as a single male and as part of a couple, the best thing to do is block those that repulse you and continue on with life.
Yes, couples may block 98 singles before they find a good one but this is life.. the vanillas do the same thing outside the computer.
We always called it "Other Peoples Children"
If other people had raised their kids correctly, this wouldn't be an issue.
Just saying
I think it is a good idea, not that all guys have to take this "test" but it would give them a better understanding of the way things should go on the site. I know I don't get the hint sometimes, I try to be as curtious as possible, but sometimes I miss the mark. Wouldn't hurt.... If anything it'll help even if you are one of the "good ones" it isn't going to make you any worse....
This is a great idea and I would be a willing participant.
Just a few comments:
1. The majority of constructive comments seem to favor having a choice for all to read about etiquette and getting a symbol on the profile, or not reading it and not getting a symbol.
2. The use of the Comments has both good and bad in it. Saying something good about a person is OK, but saying something bad is not. The rabbit "Thumper" in the movie "Bambi" said it best, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." Anything you write in a public place is subject to review, and bad comments could be viewed as slander.
3. The requirement that all profiles have a clear, current photo showing the single or couple together as the main public photo seems to be what most of the members want. Members that do not want to post a clear, current photo (face blurred if desired) should lose their ability to send emails until such time as they post one.
4. What pleases one person or a couple, may or may not please another person or couple. We all go through life deciding who we like and who we don't like. That is usually done by meeting them in person, and not by some strangers recommendation. As an example, imagine you are a girl and someone writes that Ted Bundy is a cool guy and a great date. Would you immediately want to invite him over?
5. Let's leave any rating system out. If you had a good encounter, then mark it as such. If it was a bad encounter, then don't mark it. Questions to be answered on someone's profile like: Did they take a bath, were they on time, did their mode of transportation temporarily lower your property value while they were visiting, or any other type of question should not be used.
6. There were a lot of very good ideas expressed, as well as some very good complaints. Unfortunately, if you count the number of different people that responded to this forum's question, you'll find it is a very, very small quanity of the total membership. Admin wants to provide a quality site that serves all members equally. I'm sure the responses that we wrote will be taken into account, but none of us should expect what we want will be included in the final product. Admin's goal, and only goal, with this project was to make it easier for the single male to make connections with others. Whatever Admin decides, let's support it, even it they decide to scrap the whole idea.
1. The majority of constructive comments seem to favor having a choice for all to read about etiquette and getting a symbol on the profile, or not reading it and not getting a symbol.
2. The use of the Comments has both good and bad in it. Saying something good about a person is OK, but saying something bad is not. The rabbit "Thumper" in the movie "Bambi" said it best, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." Anything you write in a public place is subject to review, and bad comments could be viewed as slander.
3. The requirement that all profiles have a clear, current photo showing the single or couple together as the main public photo seems to be what most of the members want. Members that do not want to post a clear, current photo (face blurred if desired) should lose their ability to send emails until such time as they post one.
4. What pleases one person or a couple, may or may not please another person or couple. We all go through life deciding who we like and who we don't like. That is usually done by meeting them in person, and not by some strangers recommendation. As an example, imagine you are a girl and someone writes that Ted Bundy is a cool guy and a great date. Would you immediately want to invite him over?
5. Let's leave any rating system out. If you had a good encounter, then mark it as such. If it was a bad encounter, then don't mark it. Questions to be answered on someone's profile like: Did they take a bath, were they on time, did their mode of transportation temporarily lower your property value while they were visiting, or any other type of question should not be used.
6. There were a lot of very good ideas expressed, as well as some very good complaints. Unfortunately, if you count the number of different people that responded to this forum's question, you'll find it is a very, very small quanity of the total membership. Admin wants to provide a quality site that serves all members equally. I'm sure the responses that we wrote will be taken into account, but none of us should expect what we want will be included in the final product. Admin's goal, and only goal, with this project was to make it easier for the single male to make connections with others. Whatever Admin decides, let's support it, even it they decide to scrap the whole idea.
This is a HIGHLY SUBJECTIVE matter due to the varied differences in what everyone is looking for. I've found it initially easy to "weed out" the garden with my profile so to speak, but some of the "weeds" can be quite deceiving after I've attempted to "smell" and admire them closer and then I eventually have to pull them out to. Yet others might realize they are flowers that are quite nice...
What I'm trying to say here is I think the admins are on a good path when entertaining the idea of educating/quizing but thats probably about as far as it can or should go. Because most times you just personally have to take a closer look - THATS LIFE!
What I'm trying to say here is I think the admins are on a good path when entertaining the idea of educating/quizing but thats probably about as far as it can or should go. Because most times you just personally have to take a closer look - THATS LIFE!
Just a Question: How many Couples or Single Females actually seek out Single men
on this site or any other opposed to going to an event or function?
Another good way to cut down on un-wanted single males is to add more pics of your man. seems like it's a 4 to 1 ratio (woman to your guy) on most profiles.
there are alot of Profiles that just have 10 pics of the girl and none of the guy so of course Singles guy's are going to respond.
Remember Guy's are VISUALLY sexually interested firsts then...
on this site or any other opposed to going to an event or function?
Another good way to cut down on un-wanted single males is to add more pics of your man. seems like it's a 4 to 1 ratio (woman to your guy) on most profiles.
there are alot of Profiles that just have 10 pics of the girl and none of the guy so of course Singles guy's are going to respond.
Remember Guy's are VISUALLY sexually interested firsts then...
MAGNETIC wrote:
3. The requirement that all profiles have a clear, current photo showing the single or couple together as the main public photo seems to be what most of the members want. Members that do not want to post a clear, current photo (face blurred if desired) should lose their ability to send emails until such time as they post one.
See now I don't agree with that...we have plenty of pics of hubby in our account but we each have one on here and I like to change up my profile pic often...so my profile pic doesn't necessarily have both of us in it and neither does his...you're proposing we be "punished" for that?? We have plenty of face pics of both of us in both public profiles
and I don't really care if somebody else's main profile pic has them both, as long as they're in there somewhere....As a solo male, I believe that it really wouldn't matter what the site did. We would all still be treated like second-class citizens. I've been a fully paid member of this site for several years now, and have yet to receive the first email that didn't explain to me in excruciating detail how much I didn't belong in the lifestyle, or on this site, many of which have contained rather profane and vulgar commentary. That excludes, of course, the emails from the Administrators, telling me about the next great thing that's going to happen, most of which I would never be welcome to attend, since solo males are so excluded from participation.
Of the very few emails I have sent out as initial inquiry, I have been exceptionally careful to note in the profile where the recipient stated they were seeking solo males. Every one of the responses angrily pointed out to me that solo males are unwelcome in the lifestyle. I've even been threatened. Now, there may be some who will jump to the conclusion that I somehow brought it upon myself for a rude or unwelcome first inquiry, but that is most definitely not the case, as anyone who is critically reading could tell. Some of you may even know me, from a past time where I was actively involved in the community here, and can speak to the fact that I am a polite, well educated, intelligent, and well mannered individual with nothing less than perfect courtesy towards others. It is a puzzle to me why I recieved the responses I did, but the only solution was to disengage from the community.
It didn't matter how polite I was, how much I followed the rules of etiquette, or how conscious I was of what was on other people's profiles, as a solo male, I was still excluded. I would just like to point out the response to 22hardbod22 for voicing his opinion. There is a significantly large bias against the solo male. Unfortunately, there is no realistic way to counteract it, since it has become so ingrained in the culture. Giving us yet another label, icon, tag, or seal won't help, or as my grandmother used to say, "A pig with a crown is still a pig." As long as there are those out there on this, and other sites, who intensely dislike solo males, for whatever their reasons (and they are entitled to feel that way), solo males will always be disdained. I honestly didn't think that I needed to be further vetted to be a participating member, but it seems that since I belong to that secondary group, I may have to jump through yet more hoops to be accepted into a community where I should already belong.
Of the very few emails I have sent out as initial inquiry, I have been exceptionally careful to note in the profile where the recipient stated they were seeking solo males. Every one of the responses angrily pointed out to me that solo males are unwelcome in the lifestyle. I've even been threatened. Now, there may be some who will jump to the conclusion that I somehow brought it upon myself for a rude or unwelcome first inquiry, but that is most definitely not the case, as anyone who is critically reading could tell. Some of you may even know me, from a past time where I was actively involved in the community here, and can speak to the fact that I am a polite, well educated, intelligent, and well mannered individual with nothing less than perfect courtesy towards others. It is a puzzle to me why I recieved the responses I did, but the only solution was to disengage from the community.
It didn't matter how polite I was, how much I followed the rules of etiquette, or how conscious I was of what was on other people's profiles, as a solo male, I was still excluded. I would just like to point out the response to 22hardbod22 for voicing his opinion. There is a significantly large bias against the solo male. Unfortunately, there is no realistic way to counteract it, since it has become so ingrained in the culture. Giving us yet another label, icon, tag, or seal won't help, or as my grandmother used to say, "A pig with a crown is still a pig." As long as there are those out there on this, and other sites, who intensely dislike solo males, for whatever their reasons (and they are entitled to feel that way), solo males will always be disdained. I honestly didn't think that I needed to be further vetted to be a participating member, but it seems that since I belong to that secondary group, I may have to jump through yet more hoops to be accepted into a community where I should already belong.
AEGIS3650 wrote:
As a solo male, I believe that it really wouldn't matter what the site did. We would all still be treated like second-class citizens. I've been a fully paid member of this site for several years now, and have yet to receive the first email that didn't explain to me in excruciating detail how much I didn't belong in the lifestyle, or on this site, many of which have contained rather profane and vulgar commentary. That excludes, of course, the emails from the Administrators, telling me about the next great thing that's going to happen, most of which I would never be welcome to attend, since solo males are so excluded from participation.
Of the very few emails I have sent out as initial inquiry, I have been exceptionally careful to note in the profile where the recipient stated they were seeking solo males. Every one of the responses angrily pointed out to me that solo males are unwelcome in the lifestyle. I've even been threatened. Now, there may be some who will jump to the conclusion that I somehow brought it upon myself for a rude or unwelcome first inquiry, but that is most definitely not the case, as anyone who is critically reading could tell. Some of you may even know me, from a past time where I was actively involved in the community here, and can speak to the fact that I am a polite, well educated, intelligent, and well mannered individual with nothing less than perfect courtesy towards others. It is a puzzle to me why I recieved the responses I did, but the only solution was to disengage from the community.
It didn't matter how polite I was, how much I followed the rules of etiquette, or how conscious I was of what was on other people's profiles, as a solo male, I was still excluded. I would just like to point out the response to 22hardbod22 for voicing his opinion. There is a significantly large bias against the solo male. Unfortunately, there is no realistic way to counteract it, since it has become so ingrained in the culture. Giving us yet another label, icon, tag, or seal won't help, or as my grandmother used to say, "A pig with a crown is still a pig." As long as there are those out there on this, and other sites, who intensely dislike solo males, for whatever their reasons (and they are entitled to feel that way), solo males will always be disdained. I honestly didn't think that I needed to be further vetted to be a participating member, but it seems that since I belong to that secondary group, I may have to jump through yet more hoops to be accepted into a community where I should already belong.
Maybe it's the lack of others in your area then (I know I ignore friends requests from out of state) because I know (and adore) plenty of single males on here who have managed to make it work...
I would definitely do this. no big deal.
Sounds good - I suppose I could cram just before I take a 'quiz' - Mabye have an additioal vaildation that would be like a verification by a couple (after passing the test) that the guy is actually a nice respectful guy and they've met that person. etc. Sort of like you do now with the "Verified" system.
Also, one thing that should be addressed also (perhaps not in this thread) - couples that make their profiles confusing to us single guys. I've seen a number of profiles that have answered 'yes' to the single men question in the profile - but then go ahead and write "NO SINGLE" men!! Come one, make up your mind! It should be easy, since there's two of you involved! I know there's the feature to display that on a ones profile, but if couples fail to uncheck it, duh!
Just saying..
- Mabye have an additioal vaildation that would be like a verification by a couple (after passing the test) that the guy is actually a nice respectful guy and they've met that person. etc. Sort of like you do now with the "Verified" system.Also, one thing that should be addressed also (perhaps not in this thread) - couples that make their profiles confusing to us single guys. I've seen a number of profiles that have answered 'yes' to the single men question in the profile - but then go ahead and write "NO SINGLE" men!! Come one, make up your mind! It should be easy, since there's two of you involved! I know there's the feature to display that on a ones profile, but if couples fail to uncheck it, duh!
Just saying..
We get four to five requests from single males a day to be with us. Our requirements for a single male to join us are so high that the majority of them don't come close to meeting them. We already have a male in the equation so there has to be a very compelling reason to bring another one in.
Just recently we have had a very high caliber single male that wanted to be with us so bad he actually offered to bring a date. We agreed and had an amazing time. Of course technically this single male transformed himself into a couple, but it worked. This guy figured out what he could bring to the table to make it work and it did, otherwise we would not have met him.
We suppose the advice for single males is to figure out what the couple wants and then provide it instead of pushing your own agenda of what you want or what you feel they want, or touting how good looking, well hung etc. you think you are.
And if you get turned down. Take it gracefully instead of arguing how we won't be disappointed if we would just give you a shot. Begging isn't a turn on and will not get you in the door.
Just recently we have had a very high caliber single male that wanted to be with us so bad he actually offered to bring a date. We agreed and had an amazing time. Of course technically this single male transformed himself into a couple, but it worked. This guy figured out what he could bring to the table to make it work and it did, otherwise we would not have met him.
We suppose the advice for single males is to figure out what the couple wants and then provide it instead of pushing your own agenda of what you want or what you feel they want, or touting how good looking, well hung etc. you think you are.
And if you get turned down. Take it gracefully instead of arguing how we won't be disappointed if we would just give you a shot. Begging isn't a turn on and will not get you in the door.
Is there a problem with people pretending to be single males??
Having been here as a couple and now as a single male, I have no problem participating.
I've been reading all that has been said on this subject and I'll just add this. As in all segments of society there are people that get it and people that don't. I've been a single guy for about five years and I have never had so much fun in my life. My secret? I'm a considerate respectful person. Don't get me wrong, once I get to know someone it gets all kinds of fun. If there were to be a Certified Single Male program I probably wouldn't participate. I have met lots of awesome couples looking for that something extra in their sexual relationship and some really fine single women wanting a friend with benefits.
It's not that hard guys. Just don't lead with your dick. Try and find some comon ground. Have a conversation. You can expect to put a steak on a cold grill think it's going to cook. Try getting things warmed up some first. And if you are rejected, don't sweat it. There are lots of different kinds of people. Not everyone is a good match. I think it's time to put this one to bed.
It's not that hard guys. Just don't lead with your dick. Try and find some comon ground. Have a conversation. You can expect to put a steak on a cold grill think it's going to cook. Try getting things warmed up some first. And if you are rejected, don't sweat it. There are lots of different kinds of people. Not everyone is a good match. I think it's time to put this one to bed.