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Single Males - - [quote=TIFFND]
Well said, Mr. Evil! To add to this, we often wonder why most single guys would be into swinging, anyway. I am far from being a Casanova, or Adonis, yet when I found myself alone and back into the single game after 30 some years, naïve as hell, one little post on a dating site brought more than a few ladies willing to just "knock boots". And yes...my profile there made it more than obvious I was not interested in a "forever" relationship. Frankly..listening to many of the single guys here...seems the chances of getting laid are better elsewhere. [/quote]
Y'know i can actually think of a reason. Even if most single guys on a swinger site just want to get leid, there are guys who are just as picky about who it's with as most women are. And even if most men are supposedly all about her looks, there are some who are more about attitude and worldview and stuff than they are about looks. And swingers generally have an attitude somehting like "I'm going to do what I think I ought to be doing, not what everyone thinks I'm supposed to do." Which is a VERY attractive attitude to some people, and some guys would much rather be around people with that attitude than around "normal" people. ` Terry
Friend collectors or swingers - - My opinion, which hasn't changed in ages, is this, and I'm not chastising anyone, just offering my 2 cents.
One of the recurring and biggest problem that swingers face is that they decide what they personally like, or want, and then assume everyone else should choose the same path or they don't understand why how everyone else doesn't feel the same way they do. I've read the forum posts for years and the same questions recirculate on a regular basis. "Why don't people want to be the type of swingers we are?" "We don't want friends, we just want to have sex." "We don't necessarily want to have sex until we are friends." "We really only want friends but rarely play." All valid forms of the lifestyle and perfectly acceptable to different people.
The lifestyle can take work. It typically isn't easy and will take some time and effort to achieve your lifestyle goals. Sure it's helpful to post your desires in your profile but I'm sure people read those only rarely, or maybe they are drunk searching, or maybe they can't read. :) There are all types. Try not to get frustrated because someone else isn't following you lead. Be patient. Within one or two convos you should be expressing your goals and figuring out the goals of the people you are trying to get to know. Get a system that weeds out the people you are't interested in, something that works for you. You will get better with time and hopefully someday what you are looking for will be much easier to find.
However, until then, realize life isn't black and white, nor is swinging. There are as many varieties of swingers as there are ice cream flavors, or flavored condoms. haha. Don't expect others to want the same thing as you but certainly look for those that do. Be patient, kind and realize everyone is possibly looking for a different scenario than you. Some people love to send blind requests, some hate it. Right or wrong, it's life. Accept that there is mound of bullshit between you and that perfect couple/single male/female/trans/group/poly/donkey/toys only/DTF.... (Well, you get the point we are all looking for something different)that you are looking for.
So don't be frustrated. Accept it will be a challenge and work on better ways to make your life easier. There won't be a good answer only many shades of grey.
"Don't try to bend the spoon, for that is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth... there is no spoon. Then you will see it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."
And to the single males that post ridiculous stuff? WTF? Ugh. You make us all look like mentally disabled Neanderthals.
"Me have dick. Me like pussy. Stick it good."
Guy and Gals - What do you think? - i like to get to know know people . so i always ask alot of questions about alot of stuff . and for the people that i would like to be playmates with . i like to watch them first do thier thing so i can see what all they are into and how they like it . everybody has a different style . and i love watching them and learning and also seeing if it turns me on . if it doesnt turn me on watching them then i wont play with them . and it gives u a chance to check them out . i know people laugh at me when i say this but i like to watch them play cause u can learn alot about them , as people aslo . some times u have never seen a person naked before . from our pics u can tell we both shave . i chatted with a couple for a while and then they wanted to meet us at the club so they sent some more pics to us . ... and i dont think the lady has ever shaved her private area . at all . i dont want to offend anyone by that comment . cause i dont care if u do or u dont as a person . but for my playmates . thats not something i want . and i think something like that they should be the ones to say something about it . but she didnt and i was honest with her . and told her that i would never want to play with her cause of that reason . but i would still love to be there friend if she wanted to . i guess she took what i said the wrong way . but that is totally different then us . and that matters to us . we shave all the time . so why would i want to play with someone that has never shaved . she had lots of black hair all in the front up and down and sideways . it look like bathing suit shorts . i think that she should have said something about that . to us . long before . idont like suprises . so i like to see people naked and watch them play first before i even think about really playing with them . i dont want to be caught in a room with someone and then change my mind for some reason and make them feel bad . cause something i might not like others would love . so i dont want to hurt anyones feelings . but something s bother me ...and iam not going to take one for the team or anything like that . so i think u should always be honest about yourself and what u need and want . and u should ask as many questions as u want or need to .
one person said something like they talk to each other or watch the other couple to see what their mates want . thinking they are going to do everything the same . everybody is different . i love to be bitten but it is very hard to find someone to bit e me the way i like it . so if one person sees me getting bittten and then tries it i will tell him how i like it . and if that person can do it in a way that turns me on then ill ask for more . but if it isnt turning me on ill ask for them to do somethng else . when we get with out play mates it should be fun for all . and it s great to see when u really turn someone on .and everybody is getting into it really good . and we have been playing with a couple lately . where the lady makes us really weird faces . i have stop doing what i was doing to ask her if she was ok with what was going on . cause the looks are really weird . to my husband if that look was on my face it would mean get me the hell out of here . but she explain all is good and keep going . and i dont care how many times i have heard her saying iam ok .... the look always makes me aask . cause there might be one time that it isnt ok and i dont want to keep going . cause i always want to be invted back .
i think it helps with stuff like this to get to know the people a bit before trying to play .
i dont understand why swingers treat the life style sex different then dating . people are in a rush by what they see on the outside of the person before they know anything about them . and sometimes people have different ways that dont click with each other . and then they have regrets or hurt feelings or just a bad night with someone . i am sorry . i dont want to regret anything . and i try my damnest to find people that will make my night a blast and people that i can do that for them .
i will always ask for what i need and how i need it . and ill always ask the other person what they are wanting and needing . but also go with the flow at the moment and kinda of use my own judgement on if i should ask for something s of just keep doing what iam doing ..
its the quiet ones that worry me .... i have been told to shut up by others around . and i have also been told that i made and make the person feel special cause i let them know they can talk open with me and iam here to make them just as happy as they are trying to make me .
have u ever tried to tell someone to stop doing something or change something and them not understand .one of my biggest problem is with the nipples . yes i like them to be bitten during sex when we are in the moment . but alot of guys bite them hard from the get go and then u can t start up the way u want . or when u are playing with someone and then they try for your ass without asking or u showing any signs that u want that . if i am light touching with a soft swap with someone i dont think they should go right for my ass .i tell people all the time get your finger out of my ass . maybe they were lost . maybe they were trying to move things along faster then what i wanted . hell i dont know what they were thinking but ill tell u this i put a stop to it from the get go . some took it in a bad way cause others have been in the room . and others have understood and made no big deal about it . but i think that is a thing that should be talked about first and not just thrown on someone like that in a group of people . but thats just me . and we all think and see things different .thats why people try to talk their way through things
naughty dreams
freaky kitty
Is the Moose Lounge over? - What happened to the Moose Lounge? - we were at the Moose last week it was fun. Swingers have Fri night to ourselves now... doesn't pick up till after 10:30
Utah Nude Beach Sunday - hike first then time at the beach - Can we shoot at the naked swingers? I promise I won't use high caliber ammo. [em]Emo_84[/em]
closed doors? - - It seems as if the doors are closed to a couple with little or no experience.
Why is that?
My wife and I have been posting ads on various swing sites for a while now and haven't been lucky enough to find a nice couple or single female to hook up with.
Is it that swingers don't want to "waste their time" breaking in newbies or what?
We've chatted with a single female who blew us off and a couple of couples who have done the same.
We would just love to find a couple or single female who we can actually hook up with. How are you supposed to "enjoy the lifestyle" when the lifestyle won't enjoy you?
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - Don't underestimate the power of the internet and social media to disseminate information (especially information considered salacious by most of the world) VERY quickly. All it would take would be one pissed off swinger who didn't get laid or something to lash out by telling everyone the dirty little secret. [em]Emo_84[/em]
And personally we don't find it very inhibiting to walk into a bar or a restaurant and not be able to tell immediately who is and isn't a swinger. It would be interesting to poll people and ask them if they would be likely to wear a black ring on their right hand in otherwise vanilla situations to be able to be identified by and to identify others as swingers. We'll start. We wouldn't do it. We enjoy the fact that our little hobby is known just to us and a few friends. It's our naughty little secret. We wouldn't advertise our vanilla sex life to friends and family so why would we want to do it as swingers? JOHO
Facebook and the lifestyle - Can Facebook be TMI with the lifestyle? - Ms. Evil and I were talking this morning about the the lifestyle in the age of Facebook. She mentioned that she kind of feels like there is the possibility of learning TOO much about your lifestyle friends when you're also on their Facebook feed. Especially in the hyperpolarized world we live in right now she thinks that maybe knowing too much about other swingers can make it harder to connect sexually with them. In fact, more than once, I've walked into the bedroom to find her on her laptop reading something a swinger friend has posted on Facebook with steam coming out of her ears (yeah we made an appt. with an ENT to get that checked out). I think it's gotten so bad at times that she's totally lost her 'lady wood' for a few of our lifestyle friends. I'm not really on Facebook so it hasn't affected me (other than her maybe not being as excited about possibly hooking up with some couples because they are so adamant in their views and express them so vigorously on Facebook). Just wondering what everyone thinks. Does Facebook (and learning all the dirty details about other couples) affect how you start to think about them? Ever not wanted to hook up with someone once you realized how different your viewpoints were or when they maybe posted some things on social media that you found offensive?
Eureka ATV UTV Poker Run - Elks lodge charity - Love the idea and could be available this weekend. Is it trail rated atvs? Or our rzr900 be ok. Maybe we could get some more swingers to show up.
Seems Pointless - Seems Pointless - “Because it’s a swinger site” - doesn’t explain the WHY the site would have any user (single male, or otherwise), be able to view users that they could not contact. Wouldn’t it make more sense to have your profile NOT pop up on searches from singles males or any other demographic that does not interest you?
“not designed for single males” As you said earlier, it’s a swinger site…. It can be assumed that is “designed” for all types of swingers… couples, single males, single females, all types. The category’s are pretty clear in its stated format.
I do agree however that many seemingly just troll.
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