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Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET] Frankly if you wrap your self image and your relationship etc., etc., around it and make it a big priority you very well might end up wondering what happened to your life. [/quote]
Not that it means much of anything, but this is why I always took exception (with few very dedicated and very successful and very happy exceptions) to people calling this a "lifestyle". Most of the swingers I've met would honestly lose their shit if they made this a big priority. Most of the ones I knew that did so, did lose their shit. And much more.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - My previous comment was in no way intended to say that soldiers are immoral. We need them and they provide a courageous service for all of us. Just to say that those who seem extreme (the gang banger) may be acting in a way we can understand and possibly relate to.
exspense of taking husband and boyfriend to party - - you know what i was originally think when i started this was that, iam masculine in my relationship with both guys, they both have more feminie than masculine qualities, then i read posts on here about homophobic guys who dont dp because they dont want to touch penises, its like wtf, then iam wondering where bi sexual men fit into this swingers community who are supposidly open mined, i would think that if this community were so open mined they would see a person as a masculine or femmine spirit, what if my bf like feminine guys, will there be any at a lifestyle party? what if a guy likes masculine women how many will be there? the closed minded nature of these parties sets the whole thing back to before the sixties, they might as well only allow straight wife swapping and no bisexual men allowed
Looking for advice - Single male looking for advice about the community - If I were you I would leave this site. Go out & find a gal & then come back when you have something to equally trade. Or perhaps find a SINGLE swingers site.
We have been to parties & the single guys flying around looking to jump on anything that will let them is just weird.
Single males in this environment are like Misquotes.
Trying new things . . . - Is it worth it? - We have met some great friends off swingular and AFF. The Key word is "meet". Meeting DOESN'T mean sleeping with..We have those that we play with and those that we don't. The great thing about having swingers as friends..You don't have to be all hush hush about sex.
Divorce rates - How do we compare - My husband and I began swinging together after a month of dating after I, the wife, suggested it and have now been happily married for over 3 years and together almost 4. Doesn't always have to be a pushy husband or a doomed marriage. How about 2 people who love sex and watching their SO be pleased by others? Good communication and a healthy amount of trust and security help as well I suppose. But giving a negative stigma to Swingers that our marriages are doomed seems silly. We've met plenty of people here and while living in San Antonio that have done this for years and continue to have wonderful relationships.
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - How r u two doing
Soft-core roll call - A call out to those interested in the softer side. - Canvas,
It sounds like you and your wife are not quite on the same page yet, which is quite normal at the beginning of exploring the Lifestyle. You are looking for friendships with those who are in a similar situation. That's a good idea, but be prepared that even those friendships may be fleeting as the chemistry or level of comfort may still be different.
At the beginning of our lifestyle journey, my wife and I were just as you are today, (I was also at a different level as my wife too). TheFunCouple offers excellent advice on going to meet & greets. I also add that you might want to check out a place like Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. There you can see how comfortable it is to be nude in front of others and witness all the different levels of the lifestyle. You will have opportunities to talk to others and learn more. There is no pressure to play. Plus, you will be out of Utah and away from people who might recognize you.
If you are adventurous enough, maybe plan a vacation to Temptations Resort in Mexico. This resort is not truly a lifestyle resort but is a lifestyle friendly resort since so many non swingers go there. It still is a sexually charged resort. You will meet a lot of people who are similar to you there and you have a whole week to be relaxed, get into vacation mode, and explore your steps into the lifestyle together without judgement or pressure.
MSNBC Article on Swingers - actually a positive one :) - now who thinks her and her hubby are at that club every friday? LOL
We're Back!!! - Hi there! - [quote=Canvas][quote=Starlights]Makes me wonder how many viable, sincere hits you two get with such a specific search criteria. You don’t consider yourselves “swingers”, but you’re on a swinger site looking for an exclusive relationship… from my own personal experience and from what I’ve seen with others, this type of relationship with another couple burns short but bright. I always caution couples we know when they come across other couples that change their minds from a sexy fun friendship to trying to back them into a serious “exclusive” relationship… excluding all other friends they’ve made in this LS along the way. It can be a drama filled and painful road. I’m sure of the 6 couples you’ve dated over the years you can attest to that if you’re being 💯 honest to yourselves.
This type of relationship should be (imo) found organically and mutually if that’s what it ends up being… Saying you want to be exclusive with a potential swinger couple from the start, while upfront and honest, can sound forced and rigid. Some of the stories of possessiveness between couples just sound absurd to us given the LS they’ve chosen.
In any case, good luck with your search.[/quote]
👍 I get that. If I'm understanding Candyrocks criteria, I can empathize with them though. We feel similarly challenged in that we haven't much interest in couples whose focus is bouncing from couple to couple. At the same time, I realize that the relationship we hope to find is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Adding to that challenge is our location, and, more these days, the time.
Our search might be narrow enough that we're dooming ourselves of any adult fun with others. But, if we settle for something that doesn't closely fit what we're hoping to find, it would seem we were not being true to ourselves, or the other couple.[/quote]
Having good friends with benefits like this sounds like a beautiful dream but we're not going to limit ourselves to the pursuit of just that in the meantime. Exploring and expanding our boundaries has been a lot of fun and we'll continue to do so. If someday we do find this perfectly matched couple that checks all the right boxes and pushes all the right right buttons that lives close by, awesome, we'll make it a thing. Until then? Well...
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