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Staying a couple in the lifestyle - - [quote=Sofutosuwappu]Our experience so far:
Religious > naturist > meet naturists/nudists who are swingers > soft swap > non-religious > full swap with couples same room > full swap separate room
Thoughts?[/quote]
Wow - what a great thread Sofutosuwappu! I just read some of these responses today. We're actually shocked! Evil - 60 couples . . . WOW! This has not been our experience at all.
While we are relatively new in the LS (since 2015) and we definitely have less LS play experience than most who have commented - our experience has been very different from that described . . . both in terms of our own evolution, but also in terms of what we have personally witnessed with friends.
ALL of the couples we have met in the LS are still together and in loving long-term relationships (as far as we know). Part of that may be dumb luck . . . part of it may be in the 'rules' we set for ourselves. We don't play separately . . . part of the fun is seeing your partner receive joy, pleasure, and excitement! We also specifically seek out people in Long Term relationships . . . and we have stayed away from profiles that intimated a DTF (down to fuck) kind of mind set. Not that there is anything wrong with that - we don't judge . . . just not something we have been interested in. We are attracted to beautiful relationships.
As for our own evolution . . we are STILL very religious, we jumped into the LS first . . . and THEN became nudists 🤣 We have made only a slight adjustment to our play style from our first adventure, and we have no interest in becoming 'non-religious' - we have found the LS to be a continuation or advancement of our understanding of the Judeo-Christian commandment to 'Love One Another'. Maybe we just haven't been in long enough . . . maybe we are self-deluded and are secretly living a life of cognitive dissonance . . . but so far so good.
One HUGE change is that when we first started in the LS . . . we thought we would want to be completely anonymous . . . going so far as to create 'fake names' etc. (I know . . . but we were still virgins . . . we feel SOME guilt about that . . . but we have subsequently repented!😉) We thought that the less people knew about us . . . the better. That changed 180 degrees within the first 6 months of our stumbling into this LS. Now . . . we only seek friends . . . who can be genuine friends . . . and if that progresses to any type of sexual exploration . . . all the better . . . but the friendship rules.
I'm sure we still have a lot to figure out in this regard - but we cherish our new and longer-term friendships . . . and honestly can't wait to spend time with these people. We are missing the summer live concert venues . . . and we can't wait till the next time we meet with friends. If that makes us 'poly-amorous' . . . then consider us 'guilty as charged' - We have somehow managed to maintain significant and deep friendships with just about everyone we've played with. We don't see that changing.
Hope that helps - thought it might as far as providing an alternate perspective. We love the authenticity and honesty shown to us by friends in the LS - we honestly have a hard time now maintaining vanilla relationships . . . whats the point??🤷♂️
Thank you all for the riveting discussion!
In need of advice - sexual - [quote=ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY]I just have to say it amazes me how judgmental swingers can be... you would think from the outside looking in that they wouldn't be. [/quote]
Not judging just yet, I do that and make a fool of myself more than I want to admit. But in this case I am trying to see something real..
Have you considered he might be a single male posing as married? We have seen that a few times over the years. My point is there is no one to validate him or his story. When we have differences of opinions or ask for advice on the site we recognize who we are talking about and can respect or have some faith in what they are saying.
I believe if your going to talk about a specific person in a negative way on a forum they should have the right to see it and defend themselves.
St. Louis - - Welcome to St. Louis!!! Its always great to have more hot swingers around. You will find your way around soon :) .
Party Games - - We\'ve played around with a computer game called 4 play, from rwb productions, its kinda of like a monopoly style game but for swingers. Haven\'t ahd a chance to see what it might be like in a party situation but might be worth checking out......
Tandvplay
Swingers on a Cruise - - Best bet if you want to "swing" while you're on a cruise is to book an ACTUAL swingers takeover cruise.
There are two big ones coming up.. (We will probably be on both)... and CouplesCruise has a number of smaller ones in the near future.
http://www.blisscruise.com
http://couplescruise.com
Digital Christmas Booty - - [quote=rdx]Yes, I'm a professional artist[/quote]
= broke
She'll be thrilled to know you are posting her ass for no apparent reason on a swingers site.
I say no apparent reason because is not like you're getting any here.
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - There is no option for if one of you is still on the records and one of you has been removed so that question is hard to answer. It also doesn't define what is considered sex so for soft swappers like us we don't know how to answer how many folks we have had sex with since marriage. We assumed it meant the "Clinton" definition and answered accordingly.
What if??? - Some body's worst night mare. - To tell the truth I would have more appreciation for my family members if I knew they were swingers. I would love to be that opened about the relationship that my husband and I have. This is something my husband and I are confortable with but we cannot share with others due to close mindedness. I think if they were swingers they would have more respect for their partners. I would love for my parents to be into swinging and I would not hide.
An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - [quote=2TOHAVEFUNWITHU]We just moved here from California were we were part of a swingers group and kinda thought it was going to be the same out here. But we have found out there is huge differences out here lol. We are used to going to meet and greets at bars or motels and if you like someone you leave and play with them.the we are used to going to house partys which have been some of the best times of our life's lol. The house partys would have anywhere from 30 through 50 couples and there would be games and music and bring your own bottle share a bottle. They would have stripper poles and it would be a no pressure atmoshphere. The bold would end up naked and the others didn't have to if they choose not to. It was a great time there were private rooms and a couple big sex rooms were people can walk in and watch or they can ask to join. Was kind of looking forward to doing the same out here then found out the partys are nothing like that. We want to attend a meet and greet and meet new people and hang out. We are really good friends with the swinger group in bakersfield ca and they are opening a club and we are looking at getting a bigger house and they,suggested that we use there name for the swinger group and throw some house partys. like we used to go to. But I'm not sure that would work out here to well because people are a lot more private and from what we have heard from the couple couples we talked to people are to afraid to go to a big house party because there afraid of someone else seeing them there which we understand. But if we end up getting the house we qre looking at we will have a big enough place to host and we will have the same kind of setup and games that we had in bakersfield. Would there be anyone interested in going to a big house party only swingers and everyone have a good time in a no pressure environment? And sexy fun couple if you throw a party count us in we would love to go to an actuall party and meet new people and if you like someone you can actually play and have a good time and if you need assistance we can help also. [/quote]
If respectful, single men are allowed I would love to attend a house party like you described. I used to belong to a group here in UT that would throw monthly parties at a local hotel that were run a like the house parties you are describing. There would be a large meeting room for everyone to meet and mingle with games and some light munchies. then there was always someone that would host the after party orgy in their room. Good Times were had by everyone who attended.
who starts? - -
You would think, as much as the phrase [i]communication is key[/i], gets bandied about people would really want to actively engage in communication. It would seem natural that the more experienced parties would take the lead in discussing how things get done much like flight instructors explaining that when the oxygen masks drop from the overhead compartment, you place it over your head, secure the elastic strap and breathe.
However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub.
This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus.
This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a
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