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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
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MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
What is is with local couples? - Anyone else seem to have the problem with couples local to where you live NOT wanting to meet? - Common decency...What is that? Ignoring someone's email seems to be the way to NOT say they are not interested...Seems plain old rude...especially when there is an easy no thanks email already written for you on here...
Anyway...If you ever get to FL SWMTCPL...We would not ignore you ;)
Also...he thinks there are a lot of "fantasy swingers" on these sites...they are all about the fantasy...BUT when it comes down to it...they are not ready or willing to do anything...Rather than say so, they ignore you...Just HIS opinion
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - I like the black ring idea! Although my husband had a reaction to the silicon one we bought him so maybe would have to be something else.
Do you think they're swingers? - - More enjoyable listening to the dog barking then hearing that guy talk. Although based on that it is clear it wasn't hard to pull off the drunk pilot from id4 and wearing the shirt was fitting as he sounds just like him.
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - I went with the theory that OLD TRUCKERS NEVER DIE THEY JUST GET A NEW PETERBUILT
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - I'm playing doctor with my colon right now. I'm pretending a corona bottle is my scope.
-D-
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - DVP here any day......she loves it! still hoping to try reg DP though.
Amusing Story about bad planning - Notice nobody asked the swinger\'s opinions -
If I may interject something here with regard to the Orlando swingers\' New Year\'s Eve party. Several people have lambasted the \"parents\" of the children exposed to the swingers\' activities. I\'d like to take a different approach. Don\'t \"swingers\" have any common sense?
For starters, the writer of the piece didn\'t make it clear whether the parents were or weren\'t with the children during the time of the exposure. Based on an \"adult\" reporting the incident(s) to hotel management though (Mr. Young, I believe), I\'ll take it that there might have been at least one situation where the parents were with the children. Besides, it doesn\'t say the the kids were out late at night. It doesn\'t make any specific statement about when the incident(s) took place.
It does say that the swingers did their activities \"in front\" of the children. Didn\'t they have the common sense to notice youngens around and be discrete? Didn\'t the hotel management have enough sense to realize that swingers would probably be exposing themselves and therefore cover up the glass surrounding the ballroom where the majority of the event took place? And didn\'t the swingers\' group organizers have any sense to address those issues before, or even during, the event to make sure that anyone (child or adult) who doesn\'t want to \"participate\" in their enjoyment wouldn\'t have to be exposed to it (no pun intended, but hey!)?
On the other hand, shouldn\'t a parent feel in a high level hotel like a Crowne Plaza that their kid could safely go down to the lobby vending machine (or whatever) without having to monitor their every movement? Doesn\'t that instill a sense of maturity in an age group (around 13 I think I recall from the story) that is virtually moments away from \"adulthood\"?
From this perspective, there\'s plenty of blame to go around, except for the kids.
Something else needs to be said here which is how people \"read into\" news coverage. It was quite interesting to see comments about the \"impression\" that the article made regardless of what it did or didn\'t actually say.
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - I would love to find a couple to DP with...even DVP it they want.
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - Is there any good swinger clubs in las vegas we are going there next month and would like to play ?
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