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Single Females/couples. What makes another couple stand out? - - [quote=Marman]What makes a couple stand out to you? We are new and VERY inexperienced. We aren't sure how to be noticed. How to connect with like minded individuals. What draws you to someone's profile? What makes you message them? What keeps you interested?[/quote]
The situation in Utah is different than many other localities because there is not much of a club scene. By that I mean swingers clubs, most large cities have at least one or more. These are places where you can meet friends to have sex or fool around or even make new friends. They are very popular in Houston, we have 5 clubs. While its not what we like many younger people do like them. You probably will not meet a single girl but you could meet a couple or single guy. Some couples prefer swinger resorts or cruises for sexual activity with others.
We prefer dating other couples and getting to know one another over drinks and if everyone agrees then getting naked and exploring our boundaries. Of course attraction is the first thing we notice but how a couple expresses themselves in their profile really makes a difference for us. Parties are also a great way to meet people and meet and greets are also. We have no problem emailing couples we are interested in or think we might be attracted to and we probably get a response 10% of the time and maybe end up meeting less than half the time. Usually if we meet something happens sexually if everyone agrees and is having fun.
Your profile reads well and you are young and attractive. You need more pictures of the both of you even if they are just fully are partially clothed. One pic is unlikely to get the attention you seek. If you want to start with a single lady your chances go down significantly because there are few of them out there and they get to be particular on who they choose to meet. With single men its just the opposite, there are many and they will mostly meet anyone. Look at some of the other profiles and see what you like and try to incorporate that into your profile. If you decide to be really particular on who you meet then you will probably meet fewer people. Patience and a sense of humor about the whole thing will go a long way in helping you have fun times in the lifestyle.
Inconsiderate - Lack of consideration for others - Then perhaps you should edit your post, MAUI, to say that "the vast majority of people in the lifestyle THAT WE'VE ENCOUNTERED IN THE EXTREMELY SMALL GROUP OF SWINGERS ON MAUI are super shallow and don't give a crap about others". Maybe it's just Hawaiian people in general who are super shallow and don't give a crap about others. Or maybe just people on Maui. I'm really sorry your swinging experiences haven't met your expectations. And believe it or not I'm not trying to rip you a new one. I genuinely feel badly for you. Have you explored other options? Travel, obviously. How about other swing websites? Swingular is big here in Utah (it was started here) but there are few members almost everywhere else except Florida. And the part about Maui being family oriented...have ya HEARD about Utah? LOL A very wise swinging couple once told US that the way to be successful in swinging is to first get rid of you expectations (so you won't be disappointed) and then to approach each situation and couple looking FOR reasons to connect and play rather than looking for reasons not to. I'm not saying play with peeps you aren't attracted to or are not compatible with but far too often it seems swingers look for reasons WHY this or that couple isn't perfect and they end up being disappointed that they can't find anyone to play with. Try some different websites. Host some meet n greets. Hell, host a house party and invite people similar to yourselves. Just a few thoughts. Good luck.
real members? - - I think you need to grow a new sense about people. Do you feel confortable with them over the net before you do anything. Do they seem to be real.. Can they spell simple words, is their grammer adult, how do they phrase things. Many times one can ascertain quite a lot by how and what someone says. Then we have kind of an unwritten rules:
1. Talk with people via the medium .. IM... the site we're on email and give no personal info until you feel that the people are at least stable.
2. Don't meet people or find people over an hour or so driving time
3 Meet very informally... We've found that a mall with a food court is a great place to meet. If the other couple fail to show take the misses shopping...
4. Once you meet you can exchange phone numbers or addresses as you feel comfortable doing. Maybe after the informal meeting meet at a local swingers club or dinner or bowling...what ever works to make sure they are a good match....and trustworthy.
5. The fun is open and go for the gold...
As for certifying couples... what does it mean other than there are really 2 people on the other end of that computer unless it is done by your peers who have met and or played with you. Certification is about as valued as is the pictures on a web-site. They could be the people or maybe they aren't who they say they are...
Ray
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - Others have told you that you aren't actual swingers. We say, who cares what they think? You are in the "lifestyle" for your enjoyment and preferences. Don't be bothered about what they tell you. However, they were correct that what you want is a "tall order". They may not have been judging you, but just giving you the reality of what you seek. But, be patient. At some point, a unicorn or a wife with a hall pass will join you. It will not be as frequently as what most of us do here, but it will happen eventually. Just keep posting. We really hope you find what you're looking for.
Single Males vs. Unicorns - this is ridiculous - I block ANYBODY that has repeatedly made himself/herself/themselves annoying, obnoxious, and/or rude. And I have more married males (who's wives ARE around and part of the couple's playtime) act inappropriately than I've had single males. But yeah... if someone is acting obnoxious and I don't wanna hear it (or read it I guess), I use the block button. Works wonderfully.
And for the other topic that's surfaced. Plenty of these single men can find dates. They just choose swingers due to their sexual preference. If you wanna get rude and say single men are here cuz they need to steal someone else's girl... couldn't this also go for married men? Or the women for that matter? Seriously. We're all here cuz we have this particular sexual preference. Now play nice and block those that don't know how. :P
Bubulaplease - Sandy station? - We went to Sandy Station and were immediately approached by someone who knew we were swingers. I guess we just give off the " I'll fuck the shit out of you." vibe. That being said, we loved the club, the ambience,(except the music) but the people were super nice. Can't wait to go back.
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - I am sure that there are a lot of folks that would support your venture. However you would have your work cut out for you and I hope you have a good law firm working for you and are able to do it.
I know that in some places in the USA there are clubs that are held in a large private residence and that is the only way they can exist in those cities. But police have a tendency to treat the whole thing like it is organized crime.
I know that we have members of the community that are cops and ex-cops and they should contact you privately and thus may be of some help or guidance. I do know of one case in Utah where all cars parked by the business were photographed by the cops and folks harassed and thus shut down and another where they simply ran the proprietor of a liberal magazine out of business.
I wish you luck.
Swingers Next Door! - ABC news story on Swinging! - Very good article, thanks for sharing!
Party Games - - We\'ve played around with a computer game called 4 play, from rwb productions, its kinda of like a monopoly style game but for swingers. Haven\'t ahd a chance to see what it might be like in a party situation but might be worth checking out......
Tandvplay
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - Hooah Chief!!!
Don & Tami
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