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geting in LOVE while swinging - - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on:
Aug 5, 2008 - 7:12 am
Someone mentioned Polyamory. Poly people, at least in most communities, feel that swinging and poly are not compatible.. Fact is, why not? If you are open and honest about your poly leanings and totally honest with your mate and any relationships you may have... then why not poly as well. I know that several people in here and on other sites, swingers feel threatened if you are overtly open abut your feelings. If one truely loves and trusts their partner/SO/wives; husbands/girlfriends; bopyfriends and whatever other relationships that I may have missed, they should not be threatened. If you fall in love with someone that you have sex with.... you have 2 choices..... Tell that person and their spouse and your spouce and see where it goes or simply walk away with the thoughts and get on with your life. The 3rd option is not an option.... If one is poly...thier primary relationship/s take precedence.
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I don't think it is so much of trust and love that is necessary for a poly relationship. There are, in theory at least, benefits. OTOH, NILIF. So, you are going to add complications. Many marriages already are at risk or in divorce. So, it is difficult to handle one person. What about 3? Now, it is a very nice idea to say that whomever the wife plays with is whomever she plays with. However, the reality is that it will have some effect on me. Is it always so easy to divorce yourself from the situation? Yes, in theory, you can say that when you come home, the other people are out of your lives. In practice, it often has a way of creeping back in to the primary relationship.
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - All the way! ohhhhrah!
Rog &cj
Ways to point out Swingers in public - - What? You don't have swingdar? LOL. I often just get a sense.
Bogeys Nightclub in Clearfield - A Habits style club for northern swingers? - We agree, a lifestyle friendly hangout in Davis county would be awesome! I know there are a lot of people up this way in the lifestyle that could use a place to meet others in a casual setting. I remember when Bogey's was packed every Friday and Saturday night, but now it is empty. Sounds like a great opportunity to "take over" the scene. Anyone interested?
Sturgis 2014 - The wife and I are wanting to know where the swingers play @ Sturgis - Glencoe is definitely the place to go! Last year there was a really fun group and some great hosts! (you know who you are ;-) ..) I'm sure as the date approaches you'll see more posts trying to plan again for this season.
Messages - why don't people want to message back - [quote=Sm435]
5. People totally content with swinging are already in an established party or meet group and have people come to them now. They are tons of fun, experienced swingers that know how to balance normal life and swinging life.
So we always tell newbs there is a huge learning curve to this lifestyle. No, it’s not the sex part, we all already do that, it’s the ability to sort through the mess and find connections. Living where you do makes it even harder. Try some other sites to see if they fit better.
Don’t jump at every friend request. Our experience over 4 years is the blind ones with no message lead no where.
We use the sites for first contact, then k!k (you can live pic verify there) and chat to see if it’s a match. Remember it’s a frustrating road ahead.
Just keep at it. We are to the point now we can spot most flakes, cheaters and collectors quickly and we block and move on. When you do finally meet just be open. Network, be friends, that can lead to parties or new friends. Start looking to just meet cool fucking people and learn from there.[/quote]
Well said. We just quoted the parts we completely agree with. You should remember that once you find a good group of FWB - you are less inclined to follow up on every offer. This is more a time management issue than a rejection. Hopefully people will still be responsive.
The only emails we don’t respond to are blind friend requests .... especially from people with no profile pics. Sorry - we won’t respond to blind requests. If you are interested - send a thoughtful message - if you are not, simply say so. We think that is good form.
Good luck - it’s wonderful when it works. We have been extremely lucky in finding some lifetime great friends. We’ve only had one couple we played with who ghosted us - we’ll never understand that - but it happens. That’s on them, not us. We feel like what comes around goes around. Wouldn’t change anything about our LS experience though - we feel blessed to have expanded our circle of friends to FWB. Lucky, lucky, lucky us!! May you all have similar luck!
Policing Ourselves - Can it be done? - Recently a suggestion was made that we as a group need to educate and police ourselves as a group in this our chosen lifestyle (thats swinging for all us simple folk) .
In order to do this effectively wouldnt there have to be some set of rules that everyone would be expected to adhere to? What would those rules be? how would they be created and ratified? would swingers from their respective states send represntatives to a central location to vote on these rules(oops now we get into politics) ? If you were teaching a new person (regarless of marital status or gender) the rules about swinging what would you teach them first?
I really would love to hear as much as possible from you guys.
richard
Question - do you talk about other swingers? - We agree that name dropping is a bad thing and in the few years that we have been in this lifestyle we have only had one bad experience and the funny thing is when we vaguely describe the experience only when asked (this means NO names, ScreenNames, locations or anything like that) we ALWAYS get the same response... Ohh so you met "ScreenName" too... our mouth usually hits the floor with the "how the fuck" look.
but other than that we would never kiss n tell because its no one else's business who we have or have not met or been with .
What really defines a TRUE swinger? - - We don't think single males OR females are swingers... if they are considered "swingers", then EVERY single person on this planet is a swinger. ;)
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=HARD_STONE][quote=EDANY0178]DVP? [/quote]
I'll take either opening that I'm allowed in.
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Holy mother of hello!! um YUMMMY!!!!!! pick a spot, any spot!!
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