- Don’t be lecherous.
- There are a zillion single guys out there. Make yourself stand out from the crowd in your profile. Have a complete and well thought-out profile, not just one-sentence answers to the essay questions. Don't get to into the sex acts themselves, tell what you have to bring to the table beside a great tongue and a huge cock. Virtually every profile goes on and on about how they love to give and receive oral. Not original. Be different. Keep it PG-rated and upscale. Also, write your profile in a word processing program and grammar and spell check it, then cut and paste.
A quickly written, misspelled, profile with poor grammar says allot about your commitment to the whole deal. Quickly written profiles look like some guy threw it up on Wednesday night because he came across the site while looking at porn, he was über-horny and was hoping to find a couple to get with by Friday.
- Some are turned-on by cock size and cock shots. Most couples are not. Don't list the size of your dick in your profile. Put a G or PG photo in your profile, head and full body. If a couple is really into the size thing they'll ask you. Otherwise assume that whatever your cock size is, is just fine if they like everything else about you.
I think this is a common misconception for single guys wanting to get into the swinging world. They think all that counts is their dick, and couples must be looking for a bigger one then hubby has. Sometimes true, mostly not. Browse some couple profiles and only infrequently will you find the size of the husband's cock listed. Take this as your cue. In most cases its not the cock, it’s the person it’s attached to we’re interested in.
- Be a paid member of a site. Free members go back the über-horny guy trying to get laid by the weekend. The way we see it, if you are willing to drop the cash to be a paid member, on the remote chance you'll get lucky, you are more serious about pursuing the lifestyle and thus have a better chance with us.
- Don't mass email a bunch of couples. Yes, we know each other and we compare notes. Before we answer an email from a single male we check with some friends and see if they got an email from him too. If they did, "Sorry, not interested” is the reply. It shows that we weren't special and all the crap about the Mrs. being sexy and hot was just a line of hooky spewed by a horny guy at 1:00 AM.
- Speaking of that, I would rather see an email from a single guy saying something like "you are an attractive couple and I'd like to get to know you" rather than "she is so hot, I'd like to get with you guys." When I see that I think to myself, “Thanks, I think my wife is hot, too, but I'm not her pimp. I’m as much a part of this as she is. You are not “getting” with my wife, you are “getting” with us.” Once again, “Sorry, no thanks”.
- Be respectful. It amazes me the stuff a guy will say to us (meaning Mrs. WS) because we are swingers. Stuff he’d never say to a single girl he was trying to pick-up because he’d get shot down if he did. So why does he think it will work with my wife? Yes, we’re in this for sexual fun, but she is my wife, I am her husband. Treat her, and I, with the respect we and our relationship deserve and you might just have the time of your life.
- Understand your role in the big scheme of things. As much as your fantasy is to get kinky with a couple, their fantasy is a threesome with another male. You are helping them fulfill their fantasies, and in turn they’ll help you fulfill yours.
- Find the swinger parties in your area and attend them. Not just the naked parties, but meet and greets where nothing is going on but talking. This is one of the best ways to get in. Just be charming and not pushy. We know you want to get laid and we can help you with that if we like you.
- If you happen to hit it off with a couple, offer to pay at least ½ of the hotel room. It’s always appreciated.
Rules by WesternSwing
- Don't sit at the bar all night and not approach a couple and expect to swing with them later in the evening
- Do approach a couple and introduce yourself early. A sincere compliment to the female goes a long way. (You may get shot down but nothing ventured nothing gained).
- Don't expect too much on your first meeting with a couple. We meet a single guy who made a sincere compliment to my wife. We wouldn't consider sharing a room on that first meeting but after a second meeting who knows.
- Do find common interest with the couple. no matter how much of a stud you are people find other people who have similar interest fun to be with.
- Do be honest and frank (not crude) about what your looking for sexually. We're there for a reason an so are you; were not expecting a choir boy at a swingers club.
Above rules provided by JimCat
Rules From the Woman
- Just because I smile and say hello, does NOT mean "take me, take me, take me! I want your hot love muscle right now!"
- When I say "No, thank you" in front of my husband, DO NOT assume I am then going to jump you and f#*k your brains out the minute hubby leaves the general vicinity!
- NO MEANS NO!!!! On a date, at a dance club, at the grocery store, at a party, OR in a swinger's club!
- Just because I may occasionally play with someone besides my husband SURE AS HELL does not mean I WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!
- My body is MINE! DO NOT touch it unless I tell you it's okay to.
- If, after both my husband and I getting to know you, we decide to include you in OUR sexual play activities, REALIZE this is an extremely RARE PRIVILEGE! And treat it as such! Show us BOTH respect!
- If we DO decide to play with you, and you do not treat it as the privilege it is, but instead talk about it to everyone else you know, TRUST ME, we will be your LAST swinging partners. No one likes guys who kiss & tell!
- If, on the other hand, we decide to play with you, and you are every bit as mature and respectful as we hope, and we all have a wonderful time, you can probably look forward to many more good times ahead!
Above rules provided by Layla_Susan
- Don't think because I have played with you before that you have the right to play with me every time we see each other. Don't flatter yourself. You may not have been that good.
- Just because I talk to you or dance with you doesn't give you the right to fondle me or touch me or kiss me. Ask first. Be a gentleman.
- If I invite you to play with me either alone or with myself and my partner, do not think you will be running the show. We play on my terms, by my rules; or we don't play.
- Use condoms all the time! Or we don't play, no matter how cute or sexy you are!
Above rules provided by C
Rules From the Husband
- Do not approach only my wife, we are a couple, and since I have final say on who I share her with, it's best to approach me first.
- Do not tell my wife that you can give her something she has never had before..it can't be done.
- Do not be possessive with my wife..don't touch, kiss, or fondle her unless she says it's okay to do so.
- Don't be pushy, we will let you know if we are interested in inviting you to play with us. (Begging is so unattractive, don't you think).
- Remember she is MY WIFE, not a single female and we are a couple, show respect and be a gentleman.